International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia

I rarely get political here, but today I make an exception, since it’s the international day against homophobia and transphobia. That this is still rampant in otherwise “evolved” societies makes me very angry.

It’s easy to fear and hate from behind the comfort of our phone screens, and easy to misunderstand when we have no personal experience with the issues. But that’s no excuse for hatred, ignorance, and bigotry. Ask questions. Educate yourself. Practice empathy.

As a white cisgender woman, I have incredible privilege. I don’t know what it’s like to face discrimination daily. To know my body doesn’t reflect the gender I feel inside. To worry about being killed for who I have sex with or love.

But it doesn’t mean I won’t support my friends and colleagues and all the people out there I don’t know who face this every day.


14 thoughts on “International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia

  1. I just told the Bouncer last night…
    We were discussing how one of his friends caughty eye. He asked me why I didn’t ask her… and the truth is multifold: I’m too shy, not self-confident enough to chat a woman up.
    Then of course comes the fear of rejection.
    But, first and foremost, I realized I’m not quite ready to come out.
    And I’m a white woman who is also interested in men, so it’s easy for me to just pretend, in a way, that I’m cis and not bi…

    • Dawn, my understanding is that cisgender is not the same as a sexual preference. You’re a cis woman because you identify as female. You (maybe) being bisexual doesn’t change that. I just thought you’d want to know since you were using the term πŸ™‚
      And yes, you definitely need to do things on your own time and when you are comfortable! I think it’s awesome you’re embracing your full sexuality πŸ™‚

      • You are totally correct, my bad! We’ll blame it on the sinus headache and/or lack of sleep πŸ˜‰
        I don’t think there is any doubt left as to my bisexuality.
        There is much I haven’t written about, but I have absolutely NO doubt.
        I am lucky that the men in my life embrace this bisexuality, support me in it.
        I’m thinking that the polyamory part of my life might actually be harder to explain than the bisexuality to my friends and family, though when I’m out dancing with people I know, it’s the attraction to women that is harder to express for fear of judgment (almost none of my friends know about my relationships, so to them it’s Ok if I flirt or am flirted with, it doesn’t equate to cheating).

      • Though I should say that I also got in touch with my male side once, while with a woman. I felt like a man and wanted to penetrate her. Does that change my cisgender label?
        Ha! I din’t care much about labels anyhow 😜

        • No it doesn’t change it. And there are lesbians who choose to use strapons and those who don’t… doesn’t change their gender identity (whatever it may be).

          • I think you misunderstood what I meant. I didn’t just want to penetrate her. I was viewing myself as male at that time, if it makes sense.
            But I don’t care much about labels, or fitting in boxes, so it doesn’t really matter.
            I DO understand how labels can help feel less alone (it’s certainly helped me with some illnesses for example, or when my ex was refusing to hear of my aches or fatigue). But this is an area of my life where I don’t feel a need to fit into a box. I am exploring myself and observe with interest what I discover.
            So I’ll go with cisgender, as this is what I am mostly. And bisexual. 😊

      • I’m not shy, just not very hip and naive. But I figure you have some other followers who might be shy. I have had to google with you before. Lol I live kind of vicariously through you. Lol
        I love your frankness, openness and accountability.
        I was truly humbled at how privileged I am and what I have taken for granted. I’m glad that you opened my eyes.
        Even though I may be behind the times I am so proud of my tween. We recently went to a dinner and he didn’t outwardly bat an eye at the person doing dishes in full on makeup. I wasn’t sure of the sex for a few minutes, makeup artists can be amazing. Turns out he was doing a practice run for a drag queen contest. My son later asked an appropriate question to me and truly didn’t care one way or the other that the man was wearing makeup. Single mom parenting moment of success in raising a strong, loving,accepting and nonjudgmental young man!!

        • Spencer, I too didn’t have much knowledge a few years ago about these things, but I have some friends who have dated trans people and know others in my circle as well – and I ask many (respectful) questions to try to understand the challenges and get more knowledgeable about the terminology and language. I think it makes a huge difference. Kudos to you for raising such an open-minded child! Hatred and ignorance are taught and I think it’s wonderful you are setting such a good example.

          And thank you for your kind words about my writing. I’m truly touched. Don’t hesitate to let me know what you’ve had to google! I don’t mind making sure that what I’m writing is accessible πŸ™‚

What do you think?