The only thing I’m going to say about Tony is I haven’t heard from him, and it’s okay.
Leo has been a consistent presence since I broke my leg mid-December. He is mercifully drama-free. My only emotional hiccup so far was feeling somewhat bereft of attention last month, which led to nothing more than some flirty texts and a single romp in my bed with Clark.
No, Leo and I haven’t had an exclusivity discussion. I’ve been putting it off, and he seems perfectly content.
Leo is experiencing a perfect storm of crap with work, family, and friends. I’m gradually getting back to work in person (I’ve been working the whole time since my injury, but from home). All which has conspired against us seeing us as much as we did in January and February.
A few nights ago I tried to have some flirtatious banter with him over text. The short version of the story is it didn’t work. I wasn’t pleased. I spent time thinking about Love Languages and reminded myself he shows his feelings for me in other ways.
But it didn’t sit well. If I’m not going to see someone regularly, I need to keep the fire of desire stoked between visits.
In a subsequent conversation, I decided to probe. I said “so I guess you aren’t into flirting over text” and he said it wasn’t the case, but he’s been unable to get his head into it given everything going on. I said I understood and left it that. I often think a subtle or gentle approach is a good first step.
The next day he stepped up. He met my request. It wasn’t forced or over the top. And it made me happy that he heard me and was trying.
I made sure he got lots of positive reinforcement.
So, we are going away together. Four nights at a Caribbean all-inclusive, in the adults-only section of the resort.
I had planned to go away in January before my injury. He told me a while back he’d be happy to accompany me.
We joked the trip will be a relationship accelerant, one way or another.
I’m looking forward to it. Not just because I really need some time in the sun and ocean, but also because I think it will be an accelerant. While a vacation isn’t real life, I will at least know whether I still like him after four days together. Our general compatibility will be tested.
If it’s good, I’m going to ask him why he hasn’t asked about exclusivity and am willing to give it to him if he wants. And if it’s bad, I’d rather know so we can move on.
We are going places one way or another.