I spent the last thirty minutes reading my Tony posts from a year ago. For all of you who stuck with me, I’m sorry it’s taken me so doggone long to finally move on. I blocked him yesterday – he won’t be able to call or text me. It’s so clear to me now that a conversation with him will do me no good.
So until I will be fine, I won’t do it. Maybe in a few weeks I will think I’m okay, just to find out I’m wrong. Regardless, right now it’s a relief to not have to think about talking to him.
I have other things to focus on.
Since Christmas, I’ve seen him once or twice each week. I still can’t easily get out and about, so he has come to me. He’s made me dinner, we’ve ordered in. Sometimes we just talk and drink wine, once we watched a movie. Every single time, however, we’ve made out like 16 year-olds.
We had our first sleepover, and didn’t get out of bed until 11am. We haven’t had a squirting repeat but he’s fisted me again. Most recently, we added my Hitachi Magic wand to the experience which resulted in some of the most intense orgasms I’ve ever had. It actually wiped me out for a good 15 minutes.
In other good news, his cock worked once. He’s completely average sized, and I’m sure once he loses enough weight we will have a few more positions at our disposal. Yes, he is fat and needs to lose about 75 more lbs. But in the meantime, I’m certainly not lacking for orgasms, he’s an awesome kisser and cuddler, and he loves to touch me.
Blocking Tony, breaking up with Alan, not texting Kyle (maybe not forever, but am working on it), and slowing down the communication with Todd have all been good decisions. My male engagements are reduced and I’m okay with that. I’m not on any dating or casual sex sites and have zero desire at the moment to change it.
Lewis and Clark, and now maybe Jason more often (I just realized I didn’t write about seeing him last week!), are around every couple of weeks if I want a good fuck. I’m sure I will see Todd again the next time he’s in town.
I know that’s more men than some women sleep with in a decade but for me it’s a rather chill situation.
And whether it’s personal progress or just being beaten up by circumstances, I’m not worrying about anything with Leo. I’m enjoying being with him and I’m taking it slow.
I actually rather like the man.
He has never spoken ill of his ex-wife and they have an amicable relationship. He’s fully divorced and has been for a while. He’s an engaged father to two boys. He has friends, plays sports once a week, and does good things for family members.
He and I have good conversations. He tells me stories and inquires about my interests, background, and the little things in my day. He remembers what I tell him.
He has rarely missed sending a good morning text. He’s sometimes a bit romantic. He’s quite content to take things slow, and unlike a few former blog characters, seems to mean what he says. There is no underlying current of jealousy, or prying, or games. He likes that I don’t want constant contact, that I don’t want to be “saved”, and that I’m independent.
Over dinner, he said he was worried about how much he’d been in contact and whether it was too much for me. I told him he could call or text me any time he wanted, and I meant it. Later that night, I shared some of the story of Fox and HWSNBN and why I want to take things slow. I told him briefly about Tony, how long and difficult the road has been to extract myself from that relationship, and why I want to ensure I’m emotionally ready.
He looked at me and said “Ann, you’re answering a question I haven’t asked. Take your time, honey. I love being with you and am enjoying our time together. It’s all good.”
He’s right. It is all good.
All pictures from the Leo posts are from the 1962 film “Phaedra”