Most days it’s fine.
Work is intellectually demanding and I’m in a room with others almost constantly. I’m colleague wrangling. Thankfully, my brain is busy during the day.
I try to focus on the kid when I’m with him. That helps many nights.
I am able to be present with friends, and when I’m on a date.
But then, when I’m alone, or on my way to work, or just because – the emotional equivalent of a lightning bolt strikes. I know it’s not physical pain but I feel it. My chest constricts, it’s hard to breathe, I can’t think of anything else.
Fuck, I miss him.