Last touch of a lover’s hand | Goodbye, Tony

Tony's Goodbye

Goodbye, Tony

Many months ago, Molly of Molly’s Daily Kiss suggested I get involved in Sinful Sunday. I haven’t been able to get my shit together to make it happen until now. Laying in my bed with Tony last weekend, in the last hour of our final goodbye, he’d fallen asleep with his hand on my breast. I captured that moment.

I still remember vividly the first time he touched me, almost two years ago. The electricity never dimmed and while it brings me to tears to think about these hands never touching me again, I will always have these moments; captured on film, or not.

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65 thoughts on “Last touch of a lover’s hand | Goodbye, Tony

  1. This brought me to tears. It reminds me of Tex, and makes me wish I had a pic of our last intimate time together. I miss him but especially miss the sex. After 2 years, his kiss and touch still lit me up. I don’t know if I’ll ever have sex like that again. We connected so well in that way. *sigh*

    • Thank you – it’s so bittersweet. The memories are good (although unfortunately, as chronicled here, there are also lots of bad) but bitter because I’m trying to not make any more with him.

  2. The image is lovely…a hand in sleeping carress….but it’s your words that moved me. I continue to wish for your happiness, and thank you….

  3. Welcome to Sinful Sunday lovely lady! This is a beautiful tender image but your words frame it with sadness and loss. I hope in the long run though this will be an image you look at with a gentle fondness for what was


  4. Bittersweet indeed. You gain something from every relationship, including the ones that end sadly.

    It’s just that it can take a long time – a year or more – to discover what it is that you gained. But it’s there.

    I wish you lots of happiness in the future – the near future!

    Beautiful image, too.

    • I have learned so much through this process with him. I have all my words on this blog to look back on and see how far I came – but also how long it took me to get there and that in itself is quite the humbling lesson.
      Thanks for the lovely words.

  5. This is incredibly sweet – amazing that you managed to capture such an important memory… but I imagine it must be a difficult picture to look at, too. I’m so sorry your heart is breaking, Ann. <3

    • Thank you Jo. It is difficult to look at, as are some of the things he and his no-longer-ex-wife are now posting on social media, just a week after he was in my bed… But the pain reinforces this was the right decision for me.

      • The certainty of it being the right decision will make it easier to process the pain, I think/hope. It is much easier to let go of a dream, when reality is so in-your-face obvious. When the practical side of you knows that “what might have been” is just wishful thinking, outside the realm of possibility, the heart heals faster.

        Its when the “what might have been” is all actual possibilities, that kills. KILLS.

  6. We all need to grieve what was lost, remember what is and hope for what may be. This image and your words capture that for me. It is quite beautiful in all its forms.

  7. Thank you for these posts. This one made me cry. I am nearing the end of my journey with my own Tony. The good bye has been long and necessary, but it’s finally time to let go. So many of your posts are words I could have written myself. But you do it so much better than I can. I’m sorry that my ip address shows up often on your blog but I read your posts many times and all the comments. They are healing for me, and many times words that I need to hear myself. From one shattered heart to another I hope we find the happiness we deserve. Keep on writing, your words touch more people than you realize.

    • There is such history with this man, so much hurt and so many good times… I’m hoping to keep the good and get rid of the bad. But until I’m emotionally free of him, I think I should remember both.

  8. This is so lovely and so bittersweet. Your words had me scrambling back through your blog to read the history of what led up to this lovely image. I’m so happy you’ve joined sinful sunday!

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