Oh Drew, the truth isn’t much better.

I haven’t written about Drew much because I haven’t seen him much. After our hot couch session, almost three weeks went by before I saw him again. He kept up a decent communication pace with me, checking in most days. But he is in a similar industry to Tony and therefore, rarely knows his schedule in advance. It’s frustrating but at least I understand it.

One day we were texting back and forth – the same weekend I was preparing myself for Kyle’s penultimate cancellation – and talking about some tentative plans to see a sports event. I told him while I didn’t expect him to sleep over if he was uncomfortable, he was more than welcome. It would mean he didn’t have to drive an hour home that night, or try to arrange something with a friend.

He said thank you, and followed with “you and I both know what this is.”


I said “what is this, Drew?”

He said as he’d told me before he wasn’t looking to rush into anything serious, but we had fun together so was hoping I’d be willing to continue to have fun with him.

I’d already come to the conclusion he and I weren’t meant for anything long-term. Our lifestyles are far too different. He’s a daily pot smoker, really likes to party and does so often, doesn’t have any responsibilities, and I couldn’t imagine him being a step-parent to Liam. That’s the non-negotiable criteria of any man I’m dating, ultimately.

I told Drew I was fine with something casual but I needed to be treated well. He immediately replied “I’ve been good, haven’t I? Although maybe bad sometimes with responding to texts… I know I’m bad at that” so I reassured him I wasn’t speaking about any particular failings on his part.

I went on to say I was “tired of all the dating BS and bad behavior…I’m off the sites for a reason. So I ask for honesty, decent communication, courtesy, and to not be treated as disposable.” He was fine with it and our conversation moved on to a very intimate discussion about sexuality, sexual preferences, and explorations. It was very hot and I started to think perhaps Drew and I could have a pretty good casual relationship with activities outside the bedroom as well.

In conversation I mentioned it had been almost three weeks since we last saw each other. He replied he’d been busy with work and I said I understood but at some point if he wanted to see me he’d need to make it a priority. And that he did. We arranged to meet after work early in the week. He knew his job would be wrapping up and we should be able to spend a few hours together. It was perfect.

Until just before we were supposed to meet, when he asked me to call him. Turns out he had to do a few more things for work later that night, so he could just come by for a quick visit. Basically, I knew it was a quick fuck and was excited to see what it would be like. After all, I experienced some of the best chemistry with him, ever.

Unfortunately, the chemistry didn’t translate to the sex. Perhaps it was because he’d just smoked up, which he told me when he arrived. Perhaps it was because he was rushing. Whatever it was, despite a wonderfully hard and big cock, he was just too goofy and mechanical and lacked sensuality. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t great.

And then he left.

I had to pack for my business trip (where I met Ron) so the alone time was a blessing. But I was disappointed in how it turned out. However, we had a sporting event to go to later in the week and nothing going on the next morning. I was hoping that time would be better.

Fast forward to that night. We met for drinks and bar food before the game. He’d just gotten high and in contrast to Tony, I could tell. I put it aside and we had a fun time. Lots of laughs and good conversation. He told me he wasn’t going to come to my place afterwards because he had to get to home. He was leaving the next day at 6am to go to a summer place with his parents, so needed to get to their place at a reasonable hour.

Okay, sure. I was absolutely irritated he wasn’t coming back to my place. It was a Friday night and it seemed to me there was no good reason he couldn’t come over for at least a little bit.

It was insanely hot and our team was losing badly so we left early, grabbing a drink at another bar. It wasn’t late; not even 10pm. We finished our drinks and decided to part ways. Before we left I went to the bathroom, and after washing my hands looked down at my phone to see he was texting me – his text window was the last thing I had open so it was the first thing I saw. Weird, I thought. Why would he be texting me?

He wrote:

“Yo, phone gonna die. Going to get my car and come see you. I have 1%”

YOU’VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING. Those texts were not meant for me. I was angry but not livid, because I suppose I didn’t care enough for the latter. I came out of the bathroom and he was immediately apologizing, saying he knew I’d be mad, those texts were meant for his friend Ann and he is actually selling her drugs, he does that sometimes, blah blah.

I just waited for him to finish and said “yeah, sure”, and started to walk out of the restaurant. He told me he had nothing to hide from me, I could come with him if I wanted. I just looked at him. I said “okay well goodnight then, have fun with your other Ann”. He insisted on walking me to my transit stop. I explained to him that was the first time I’d ever received text messages meant for another woman, and it was pretty shitty. He reiterated he was telling the truth.

It doesn’t actually matter if he was telling the truth. Whether it was a drug run or a late night booty call, he could have chosen to spend time with me after the game, and didn’t.

I didn’t hear from him for almost three days, then he sent “hey how goes your day?” I said I was having a great time on vacation and added “to be honest a little upset still you choice a drug run (assuming that’s the truth) versus spending time with me after the game. Bit perplexing to me.” When he didn’t respond for almost 24 hours, I poked and said “no response to that?” To which I was given a great excuse:

“We just live different lifestyles”.

I said “what does that have to do with anything? It could have been anything you chose to do afterwards instead of with me.”

Of course, it’s been days and there’s been no response. I don’t expect to hear and I’m not going to bother following up. Seems to me the self-professed believer in karma and open communication was found wanting, after all.

21 thoughts on “Oh Drew, the truth isn’t much better.

      • Of course not! I expect nothing but the best behavior(manners) from the Queen of Karma!
        When that Karma Banker finally pays out you’ll be treated like the Queen you are…But there’ll be no neediness or jealousy!

  1. Ditch that goofy doper! UGH! No surprise that drugs won out over anything else. Addition is a bitch! I know it’s just pot, but it’s a drug too.

  2. I just want to give you a bit of encouragement Ann – I’m in my current relationship of 9 years from Plenty of Fish. There’s a lot of good guys out there but you have to pick through a lot to find one.

    • I’m not anymore and it wasn’t a waste before – why would you say it was? He was great to talk to, we had a nice time together, and he was communicative regularly. He was hardly a waste.

  3. Why on earth do you accept to deal with Kyles and Drews? Men with obvious drawbacks should be non starters,or else comes the miserable treatment you got from these two guys! Compatible chemistry can not be good enough.As long as there is not a spark of some kind between you and men you come across,please Ann ,ignore them and carry on! If you are resolute to compromise with nothing less than a pearl,then you will find one! You know you can!

    • I don’t think he was a complete douche, actually. He was pretty fun until that point. But ultimately, even if he was telling the truth, I want someone to be so keen to see me they will give up sleep to do so.

  4. Thoroughly academic at this post’s original appearance—purely so 11 weeks, six days on—yet, an interesting proposition nonetheless:

    Which is less appealing—duplicitous lout or dilettante dope peddler? 😏

What do you think?