I met Drew on Bumble the week before my vacation. Atypically, I swiped right even though all he had on his profile was his height (6’6″). In hindsight, I’m not sure why I swiped right – he has only two photos and neither show his face. I suppose it was a moment of weakness.
He responded quickly to my opening message and we texted about work and the heatwave our city was experiencing. He noticed the unicorn emoji in my profile and later asked if I was one. I told him he’d need to define it before I answered; and he mentioned poly relationships. He’d been in one before and said it was “fun”.
I told him I wasn’t poly and wasn’t interested in a relationship with more than one person. But I liked that he even knew what it was – it spoke of an openness I don’t often find.
I explain there were circumstances where I could share. We agreed it was fun but not all the time. We talked about what we were both looking for – he’s been out of his marriage for a year, so while he’s dated since he broke up (something I look for now, ever since Tony), he’s not rushing into anything.
He proactively asked “what’s next? Drinks sometime?” And I said sure.
We established mutual interest in sports, the arts, going out dancing. He wasn’t turned off my by being a Mom, and he was keen to meet. He gave me his number and we moved to text.
He was bummed we couldn’t make our schedules work to meet up before I left on vacation. We tried to meet after a sporting event but it didn’t work…I texted and he didn’t respond but the next morning apologized, saying his phone had died and he was still at work quite late.
It is a good reminder how much context matters when communicating with someone in the early days of texting. When someone is otherwise responsive and communicative, and has expressed interest, I don’t think much of an extended silence.
We traded funny selfies. He would ask me questions by text. We established a mutual love of kissing (but who doesn’t??).
We continued a steady conversation while I was away on vacation. I sent him a pic from Hy’s pool and he was appropriately flirtatious, saying he’d “like to see more of that”. He sent me a hilarious “duck face” selfie and I responded in kind – a first for me.
He made me laugh. We traded witty barbs. He was appreciative and responsive and didn’t cross the line into being crass.
And he asked again when we were going to go out.
He’s a cancer, for those of you who follow such things. He said cancer’s are “giving, caring, thoughtful”. So far, he’d proven to be those things.
I sent him another pool selfie, showing a bit more bikini this time, and he replied I knew how to make a man’s day. I told him he was smooth and he said he might not be smart but he was quick.
I liked our interactions.
I didn’t like that he was in the same industry as Tony. It potentially meant he was unable to ever make proactive plans. Worse, they may know each other. I cared less about the latter.
We established a potential date to meet – the day after I came back, and my only kid-free night for another week. He asked to talk to me on the phone – and I liked our banter. Especially after some of my recent experiences, I liked that he was proactive and flirty and willing to wish me “sweet dreams” and say he was excited to meet me, but not overbearing.
I had dropped Liam off at my parents. Drew and I agreed to meet at my place and then go to a local park to talk and drink beer. I liked the idea, frankly. Mostly because it was different. It meant we could focus on talking and enjoy the warm weather.
But when he showed up on my front steps, greeting me with a big smile, despite the multiple pictures I’d received of him, my first physical impression was “oh…no….”
But as I’m on an ongoing journey of challenging my assumptions and “types”, I took the plunge, locked my door, and walked with him to the park.