Jake’s profile had appealed to me for a few reasons. It was well written and honest and had intellectual depth. He was tall and bulky and while not conventionally attractive I liked his look. Obviously, I liked that he’d followed up with me each time I came back online.
He asked me when I wanted him to come over with a bottle of wine. I told him I didn’t lead with sex anymore and perhaps we could go out for dinner. He was good with either but reminded me we’d already had sex and he knew we were both sexual people.
At some level I believed it wouldn’t make a difference with him. From the beginning, I think he was more like Jason and Andrew, where even if you have sex with them early they still see you as relationship material.
I’d been out every single night that week. I didn’t expect Jake to show up much before 8pm; he had his son and was taking him to his ex’s after dinner. I debated whether I wanted to go out for drinks versus stay in. It was less about sex and more about wanting a quiet place where we could talk about anything, and I was tired of being out.
I ate alone (Maggie I now think of you every time I eat by myself!), tidied the house, had a glass of rosé, prepared a cheese plate, got caught up on some reading and writing. He showed up when he said he would, bottle of wine in hand. It’s sad when those are notable things, isn’t it?
I poured us the wine and we sat on my couch and talked. And talked. And talked. About kids, trips, what happened the times I flaked out on him, communication styles, why he was initially intimidated by me, work, exercise (he used to be a personal trainer), and lots I can’t even recall.
Until he reached over and grabbed my arm and pulled me into him for a kiss.
It. Was. Great.
We didn’t stop, the intensity grew, and he pulled me over to him so I was straddling him on the couch. He said “when did you decide we were going to have sex?”
I was sincerely puzzled, so said “what makes you think I decided we were going to have sex?”
He thought because I invited him to my place it was a foregone conclusion for me (and he wasn’t being gross about it). I explained I hadn’t assumed either way, I simply wanted a quieter place to talk and was tired of going out. I reminded him I am skittish about jumping right into sex with anyone anymore, because to have sex with a man right away means he takes me out of the “relationship potential” box and puts me into the “sex only box.”
He told me he was different and I said I tended to believe it based on his profile and his interactions with me. He told me his last two long term relationships started with sex right away.
We kissed some more and he asked me if I wanted to take him upstairs to my bedroom or if I wanted another glass of wine. I said “both, please”, so that’s exactly what we did.
I have another post in progress about how each sexual experience I had that week, and Jake was different yet again. Unlike the emotion-free sex on Monday and Thursday, or the entirely emotionally laden night with Tony, this was somewhere in between. Jake took his time playing and undressing me. He was affectionate.
And then he was crazy hot. Once I was naked he expertly went down on me. He then hooked his fingers into my g-spot and I was cumming in seconds. When he then started to slam the heel of his hand against me at the same time, even through my orgasm haze I knew what he was doing. Seconds later I squirted all over my bed and him.
Simultaneous thoughts went through my mind but the one I managed to get out in a stutter was “did… did… you… do that to me the last time?”
“No Ann, I didn’t.”
“Wow, that doesn’t happen very often.”
“Well babe, it will happen every time from now on.”
And with that his cock plowed into me.
Without a condom.
I should have freaked out but didn’t. Later, he pulled me on top of him, commenting he was surprised he’d been able to last so long since it had been such a long time. He was in control the whole time, he put his hands exactly where I wanted them and helped guide my motion back and forth.
He came with a flourish and a shudder. Afterwards, I chastised him for not being safe. We lay in my bed drinking wine and talking for over an hour. He made me soak my bed a few more times.
Almost succumbing to sleep, I told him he was welcome to stay but he said “oh no, it’s too soon for that just yet”. It didn’t feel emotionally distant, it felt like he was appropriately pacing himself. And yes, I know I just described us having sex on our second date after two years of not seeing each other, but staying over is a different level of intimacy I suppose.
All in all, it was good. He’s easy to talk to and we are physically compatible. He seems emotionally mature and he’s ready for a relationship. He’s almost a decade older but it’s not obvious to me. We have fairly different lifestyles as a result of where we live (I’m in the city and he’s in a distant suburb) and our jobs (he’s blue collar, I’m not), but I don’t know enough to know if that will be a barrier.
He’s not a “slam dunk” in the way that someone like Kyle appeared to be – but it was just appearance, nothing else. Perhaps there is something deeper here, perhaps with a few more dates something will reveal itself to not work. If there’s one thing I’ve learned with dating there are surprises waiting around every corner.
I keep hoping the next surprise is a good one.
[Image from the movie “Night of the Living Dead”]