Thank goodness for my friends who help keep me sane when I temporarily lose my shit a little bit.
In not hearing back from the Tall Man, after some fairly steady communication, I found myself oscillating between believing it was completely fine and believing he obviously wasn’t into me.
Reasons it was fine:
- He is busy with work
- He had his kid all weekend
- We had a date set so there was no need to keep texting
Reasons he wasn’t into me:
- He didn’t reply to a question I’d asked
- There was a change in the communication cadence we’d had to date
- It was getting close to our date and he hadn’t confirmed
Bottom line it was impossible to know which it was, which is precisely what I hate about dating. Depending on your outlook and own experiences (and what you would do in the same situation) you’re going to interpret his behavior differently.
If he changed his mind about seeing me there was nothing I could do about it. He didn’t seem like the kind to just disappear but I reminded myself the biggest disappearing act was a guy who was a fucking counselor for troubled teens. So who knows.
I was working really hard at giving him the benefit of the doubt when the 24 hour mark before our date came and went. I was out for dinner with a close friend so had a great distraction.
The next morning in heard nothing. By that point I was convinced our date was off. As mystifying as it was to me – he’s the one that secured our date at the end of our first, and he’d been in good communication – shit happens. This is also what sucks about dating: the rejection. And yes you can say it’s not personal and all that blah blah blah but it’s still a rejection of some form or another.
People who don’t get crushed under the weight of it are pretty damn strong. With each breakup, each man I’ve walked away from, I know I’m opening myself back up to this. I’m confident and secure enough to put myself back out there, as much as it sucks sometimes.
I got to work and went about my day. At 9:30am I received:
“Ann. Apologies. But can we reschedule for another night. I got invited to go away for the [X] game. I was rushing around last night and I forgot to text you. Sorry for the last minute change. Hope you understand.”
Was the reason bullshit? Probably not – there would be no reason to make up such an elaborate lie. He was being invited to a huge sporting event.
Could he have changed his mind about seeing me, or could something have happened that made me less of a priority? Maybe.
I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt; I wasn’t going to be worse off as a result. So I replied “That’s super exciting. Were you at Sunday’s game? When are you thinking?”
He said “Yes. I’m really excited about it. Could you do Thursday evening?”
I figured if he wasn’t interested, he wouldn’t have offered up at date. He could have easily put off suggesting a night. Unless he was a total douchebag, but if he was, he would likely have disappeared entirely.
We had some back-and-forth via text that afternoon and after he’d arrived at the game. We set a time that would work for us to meet on Thursday. That was Tuesday night.
I haven’t heard from him since.
It’s Thursday morning.