driving to my second date, overnight bag in the trunk

Wherein I start to date long distance

If you are new to the story of Ian, please start with this post.

So Ian and I had our amazing first date, and he left in the very early morning. Just before I crashed into bed, I sent him a thank you text: “Ian thank you for an amazing night. Kissing you was admittedly a highlight. Can’t wait until Friday :)”

He quickly responded “You’re awesome. Thanks for an amazing evening. Looking forward to date 3 :)”

The joke of course was our first date was so long, and went past midnight, it was like we’d been on two dates already. It did feel like that a bit. I was super excited the next day, and had little fluttering feelings in my stomach (or lower) when I’d have flashbacks of key moments the night before. I was smiling constantly. It was great.

There was no text by 10am and I decided to not play games and just send a quick good morning text. He responded within a half an hour with a “good morning gorgeous”. I replied I was a little tired that day but it was worth it.

In truth, I was a tired wreck. I cancelled a 9am meeting so I could sleep in. I’m not good with lack of sleep and the late night with him was in addition to a few nights of bad sleep. But he didn’t need to know that.

I heard nothing from him the rest of the day, and at 7pm I asked how his day was going and if perhaps we could talk after Liam went to bed. We did just that. It wasn’t an extended conversation by any stretch – it actually felt a bit short – but I was tired anyway so figured it was all for the best.

The next day (Thursday), I heard nothing from him all day. I was having a hard time convincing myself his silence meant nothing. It’s not only that the last man I dated told me he loved me on our second date, it’s also that I’m used to more communication from pretty much every man who has been interested in me.

But I’d heard loud and clear some of the feedback on my blog and from a few girlfriends and kept telling myself there was nothing at all wrong, that he seemed to like me and all was well. By 9pm though, I was starting to feel the confidence waver, when all of a sudden he sent me a link by text, with no commentary:

Why Modern Dating Makes Me Want to Punch Myself in the Throat

Go read it – it’s worth it. I’ll wait. It reminded me so much of what Hyacinth, Madeline, and I have been writing about of late. But Ian sent it to me.

I responded back with a funny retort about me not waiting to respond. I told him he could call me as Liam had gone to bed. He never did, and I suspected it meant he fell asleep putting his kids to bed. It happens.

Friday morning I decided to throw caution into the wind (yet again) and send that first good morning text. He responded with “Good morning gorgeous”

A couple of hours later he mentioned his car was still at the dealership and they didn’t know what was wrong with it. I replied (among other things) if he needed me to come to him that night, I could.

So, I may not have mentioned this before, but Ian doesn’t actually live in my city. I knew this from early on, but he told me he worked here but lived a couple of hours away. He has an apartment in the city and a country place, essentially. I didn’t really realize just how often he isn’t in my vicinity, however. With half the time with his kids, and a job that isn’t a regular schedule or consistent location, he’s not around all that much.

And in this case, to make matters worse, the dealership explained to him he shouldn’t drive his car outside his town. Meaning, if I wanted to have a date with Ian Friday night, I was going to have to drive 2 hours minimum to see him, leave work early, and probably sit in a ton of traffic.

I decided it was worth it. Good men are hard to find.

So I packed an overnight bag for my second date, and set out later that afternoon.

18 thoughts on “Wherein I start to date long distance

    • I was being a bit funny about it being an LDR. Average commutes are really long in my city – an hour is nothing – and he will be here on a somewhat regular basis πŸ™‚
      But it’s not my preference that’s for sure!!

      • I know it’s not LONG long distance, as in you don’t need to take a plane to see each other, as in my previous situation. But, still, two hours in heavy traffic can get tiring real fast for most people. Right now, in the early “honeymoon phase” it sounds worth, but a couple of months down the line it might be a different story. But if long commutes are something you’re used to, I guess that might now be a big problem.

        • I completely agree. What I don’t have enough of a sense of is how often he’s in my city. Most of his work is here and he doesn’t seem adverse to traveling here… That’s ultimately the key. Might not even go so long for it to become an issue!!

  1. Hmmm. Your ‘date’ was a little more than ‘hanging out’. Just because you didn’t fuck doesn’t mean you didn’t have sex. If I were he, you would have had a dozen red roses on your desk the next morning. And, you sure as hell would have had a text. This guy knows you like a good morning text, and if there was any morning you should have gotten one, it was that morning. Also, Car in the Shop… okay, maybe, I’m reserving judgment. I’ll wait for the next installment, Ann.

What do you think?