I woke up this morning wondering if the hours spent with Sevag last night were a dream. An amazing, intense, wonderful, dream.
They weren’t, but easily could be.
My heart and head are fighting a serious battle; a good one this time. It is so seductive to be romanced by someone who looks at me like he can see into my heart and soul. I actually think he can.
He has sussed out truths about me without my explicitly sharing information that would allow this conclusion.
My heart wants to just let go into this and feel all the big feelings this amazing man brings up. My brain says things like “but Ann’s heart REALLY? It’s been a week. You haven’t had a dinner yet. What if you find out he doesn’t have any friends? What if he doesn’t like your friends? What if he doesn’t want to go to blues clubs with you?”
And my heart just gives my brain that knowing look (as best a heart can) and sighs and says “Seriously? You think these things have anything to do with love, you practical ninny?”
So the practical side of me says sure, of course I can see potential right away – and Sevag and I have it in spades – but until you spend time with someone it’s impossible to know whether a relationship will really work. You know, how they treat their Mom, what they are like with their friends, how they act when stressed and angry.
And of course if I let myself go, there’s danger ahead.
You see, that’s the problem. Fear. Read my post about what happened with my ex-husband Will to know why this scares the bejesus out of me. Whatever a bejesus is.
Staring intently into my eyes yesterday, my fiery Aries expressed how he felt about me. I could see myself reflected in his eyes, and he said:
“You are frightened.”