And yes, I know I’m mixing my ride and show metaphors. But just work with me, k?
During the chaos of being sick and Hy & Shenanigans, all I really wanted was for Tony to come over. He was already at home in bed when I finally managed to get my phone from my kitchen, walking by naked couch sex in progress. But he said he’d come over early. I woke up at 5am and unlocked my door, then sent him a text telling him it was open.
It wasn’t until a few hours later that he texted to ask if I was up; I told him I was, but felt like death, and he said he’d bring lattes. I asked him to get four since Hy’s dude was still around. I wasn’t about to tell Tony that Hy’s guy was actually my guy. No need.
After their awkward greeting (which I heard about but did not witness), Tony came up to my bedroom to say hello. He lay down beside me, handed me my coffee, and I put my head on his chest. He was wearing his shirt inside out.
Shortly after, Hy came up and the three of us shared my bed and chatted like old friends. Her at the foot and me and Tony cuddling at the top. We joked about Shenanigans wanting a threesome with us, and she regaled us with sex stories of threesomes, what can go wrong, and fun sex stories in general. She asked Tony if he’d ever had one and he said no but he would have been pretty pissed had Shenanigans been the one to get one with us, given Tony had drinks with us first and therefore thought he had “dibs” on any threesomes being handed out.
Tony was very affectionate with me in front of Hy. He would casually grab a boob or nuzzle my neck. Hy asked me where I got a bruise on my bicep and blushing (under the wan hungover look) I told her it was from him, last week. He told us all the sex talk was making him crazy horny, and he got under the covers with me. His hands started to roam and shortly afterwards, Hy made a graceful exit to get more coffee and wait for pizza.
Turns out, sex is a good hangover cure. He was all over me and at one point, I looked up at him and despite all rationalization to the contrary, I swore I could see in his eyes that he was in love with me (it wasn’t the first time). Later, I told him I needed to hear what he had to tell me. I said it was so easy to slip back into things with him, and if I was going to make a mistake, at least I’d want to do it with full knowledge.
We went downstairs to join Hy for pizza – I finally felt like I could try to put something back into my stomach – and we three hung out on the couch, watching soccer. Hy and I joked about where Shenanigans’ bare ass had been hours before, and Tony retorted it wasn’t the first time a naked ass had been on that couch. It was great to have two people I adore so comfortable with each other.
Hy educated him on Instagram and boob pics, being careful to not disclose too much. Tony commented he was in heaven, having pizza, boobs, sex, and soccer. We cuddled on the couch even after Hy took a nap. He took off his shirt and I spent some time objectifying him with my hands. He said sexy and romantic things to me. Determined to watch the end of the soccer game, we teased each other until it was over then practically ran up the stairs for another round.
I was still massively hung over, but far better than when I first woke up. Tony left in the mid afternoon and Hy and I managed to get our shit together to have a couple of my girlfriends over that evening.
Even though I’d seen Tony twice already over the weekend, he said perhaps he could come by Sunday night after Liam went to bed. I was surprised, frankly. He’d never before been so giving with his time.
On Sunday, Tony went on a short trip to watch a big sports game and had a spectacularly bad day. He sent me a picture of his face, injured from being the recipient of someone’s anger, and said he needed to just be at home. I was fine to not have him come over as I needed to write.
He did call me before bed and we had a brief conversation.
Monday and Tuesday we bantered and flirted off-and-on via text. Each time I felt I was driving too hard and starting to wonder why he wasn’t responding, I backed off. Put the phone down. I was constantly telling myself to just chill. I reminded myself that as before, he’d always respond…sometimes it just took some time. But I didn’t want to be the one always moving things forward.
I thought about whether I can do what Hy suggested; just accept what he can give me (or not). Enjoy it for what it is, understand what it isn’t. Manage my expectations. If it’s good, then let it be. If I don’t like it, walk away.
Walking away wasn’t something I particularly wanted to do, but I had no interest in going back to that constant state of yearning and wanting more. Of being disappointed and hurt. No fucking way. So while I was reveling in how much fun it was to hang out with him on the weekend, I hadn’t fully gotten on the Tony ride.
With my giving the theater tickets back to Fox, I now had my Friday night free. I wanted to spend it with Tony. On Tuesday around noon, I asked him if he wanted to go out on Friday night. Maybe see the new Bond movie. Eat popcorn. Maybe objectify each other a little bit. He said okay; it sounded like fun.
I resolved myself to then back off from the communication. I was physically and mentally exhausted from the shit with Fox and my weekend with Hy, and I didn’t want to get all intense again about anything. I’d been texting with Jason and arranging a dinner with him. My old boyfriend, #14, and I had been chatting all along about his sexual exploration, so once he knew I was single again he made sure I knew he’d be pleased to have a threesome or moresome with him and his current lover.
Much to my surprise, my phone rang that night. It was Tony. We hadn’t been texting and I hadn’t asked to talk to him. He just called. We chatted for a little over an hour; I happened to mention I wasn’t working the next day; I had to take my car into the shop for a long appointment, about a 45 minute drive from my house.
He expressed interest in seeing me, so we made plans that he would meet me there and we’d hang out while my car was being worked on.
I always remind myself to listen to my gut, but when my gut told me something was different and he was making an effort (out of his way to meet Hy! coming over with coffee! calling me out of the blue! and then shuttling me around for an appointment!), I shushed it and said – nope, Ann, that’s you just getting your hopes up. Nothing has changed.
But something was different the next day.