Late last week I had my first real struggle accepting Tony’s communications behavior. He’s been relatively quiet since late last week, as he’s been preparing for and running a few shoots.
On his night-before drive to his location we spoke, and texted a couple of times the next day. He said the shoot was running late but he was hoping to have phone sex on the ride home.
Several hours passed with no communication. My evening got fucked up; I was supposed to be at a formal event for work but my nanny lost my house key (and car fob!) which meant I had to go home instead to let her and Liam in. I was irritated. I sat my ass on my couch and watched “The Walking Dead” and was feeling empathy for Tony that he was stuck on a long shoot.
By 10:30 at night I texted him to ask how the shoot was going.
Are you kidding me? I thought. Here I was thinking about how shitty it was he was having a 16 hour work day. Nope. He didn’t even have 5 seconds to say “hey leaving now but can’t talk”.
So I just said “Oh okay”.
He said he was exhausted and setting in. He said it definitely crossed his mind to call.
And he asked me to call him.
I sighed internally and externally.
He sounded wrecked. I knew the drive was on dark windy country roads. I knew he was tired. But I also knew it didn’t take much to send a text saying “hey finished on my way home will call you when I arrive”.
I didn’t really get into it with him; I knew it wasn’t the point. When he asked how I was doing I said I was frustrated about a few things and he said “gosh I hope I’m not one of those things; I’ve been so good”.
And he’s right.
We made tentative plans for the next night to go to a friends art gallery for an opening; he was still non-committal about going as he said it would depend how long his work day went and how he felt afterwards. I have learned from prior experience with him; I was going to go either way.
The next morning I was getting Liam ready to go to school. Tony sent me a good morning text and we chatted a little bit as I was getting ready. Then 10 minutes before we walked out the door, he texted:
I don’t want to tease you – but I will have some time to kill. On my way! To your place for coffee.
At first I thought he was just kidding. Then I told him it was mean and at the end of the day I was all his.
Tony’s favorite coffee place is on my way to Liam’s school. I texted to say I was passing it and he responded Minutes Away.
I asked him if he was serious and he confirmed indeed he was. I dropped Liam off at school, Tony parked at my place, and we met at the coffee shop where he bought me a lovely latte.
It was nice to give him a kiss and get a big hug and sit with him for a few minutes before I had to make my way to work. It was a sweet little surprise.