When a threesome is me, him, and a…

…rabbit. Yes, an actual rabbit.::

There was no sex club visit on Friday. Fox and I were at a sporting event which went longer than I anticipated; by the time it was over our priority was food and drink. Once we got back to my place and had a few rounds of sex, it was time for sleep.

I’m away next weekend with a girlfriend so it will be a few weeks before we try a club or a threesome.

But we still had lots of adventures this weekend. There is more to write, but in short:

Fox met my Father and Step Mother, who (when Fox went into another room) pulled me aside to dramatically say “Ann, he’s GORGEOUS. And TALL. And so NICE.”

We had an amazing dinner at a restaurant in a quaint town.

We spent a night at a old farmhouse. Once alone, we grabbed blankets and set out to find an entrance to the barn but were sad to see there was no hayloft for us to have romantic barn sex in. Instead, we settled for cuddling between blankets, laying in the field, looking up at the stars.

Our only companion that night was a beautiful rabbit who stared us down in the field, refusing to budge as he stared into the light of our iPhone flashlights.

Fox brought his daughter Maria to a very large family gathering of mine. They met about twenty very close friends; many of whom I consider family. They both survived and even thrived. Maria met Liam, who thought she was awesome.

One of my male friends pulled me aside and said “Ann, well done, you! He’s very attractive. I immediately liked Fox. He’s a very nice man.”

::

For all of the good, there was a disconcerting moment.

Fox and I had rambunctious and dirty sex in the farmhouse brass bed with lovely quilt. While most was good, there is one position he likes that I find rather boring and it doesn’t do anything for me.

Laying there, thinking about how I could possibly get him to adjust his thrust so it actually felt decent for me, I suddenly had flashbacks of Tony. Tony during sex. The way he would bite me. His forearms. Him pulling me to the edge of his tall huge bed to take me while he stood at the edge of the bed.

I welcomed those images for a split second then fought them, hard. I actually talked myself out of it. I told myself “here is a man who loves you, Ann. Adores you, and would do anything for you. He makes you cum and is always up for sex. Stop thinking of a man who wouldn’t even fucking text you.”

It worked, but I was unsettled to be thinking of Tony. I’ve managed pretty well to not think of him regularly.

Later, Fox asked me if he satisfied me. He said he knows I have a large appetite and wants to ensure I’m happy and satisfied. I made reassuring noises but at the same time was wondering what it meant that I couldn’t stay focussed on my lover.

I suspect I need to continue to work through some things.

(Image source: http://payload168.cargocollective.com)

18 thoughts on “When a threesome is me, him, and a…

  1. Well, on the one hand you can be forgiven for still having thoughts of Tony pop up, given that you basically started your relationship with Fox before your relationship with Tony was over. So you never really gave yourself the kind of time and distance between the two that normally helps leave one in the past and be fully present in the other without any residual effects.

    On the other hand, are some of the things that Tony did that still pop up in your mind things that you’ve told Fox you’d like him to do to you (biting, pulling to edge of bed, etc.)? It sounds like Fox has been very good about taking direction and communicating, and although he may not instinctively know to do the things that drive you wild as naturally as Tony did, with time and your help he can learn what they are and learn how to play your body in all those ways you love.

    • I do think Fox can get there. He’s so keen on making me as happy as satisfied as possible. But on the other hand, he just doesn’t have the same style and instincts that Tony did, and I’m not sure I can teach that.

      But regardless, Fox makes me feel so loved and cared for, and I – as you very well know – always struggled with that with Tony.

  2. You have issues to work through, Ann?
    Welcome to the human race!
    You’re going to be fine.

    Tip: The next time Fox isn’t doing it for you, just get on top and ask him to adjust things. Do it in a sexy voice. No man alive can resist a request during sex.

    Let us know how things work out.

  3. I’m in agreement with the previous posts. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with “other” thoughts creeping into your head when you least expect it. If I’m honest, I have a very difficult time keeping my focus on the task sometimes – I think that’s normal. I also am not surprised that thoughts of Tony crept up on you. How could they not? This too shall pass, as you move farther away from him (emotionally) and continue moving forward. The subconscious mind hasn’t fully let go yet. (Besides, who hasn’t thought of something or someone else during the act – EVER?)

    • It’s true… but I’m usually pretty good at focussing. But Tony and my chemistry was a powerful force and it’s hard to experience something less than that, even when the rest of my relationship with Fox is so wonderful.

  4. Josh said what I was going to, I would be more thrown off by not being able to tell him what I wanted vs. thinking of someone who gave me what I needed. If Tony hadn’t been the one to do those things before, you probably would have thought of the person who did because that is what you want/need.

    • Perhaps. But I haven’t generally thought of past lovers when I’m with another. Even if the sex was really bad. Something triggered me, obviously, and it was hard to get Tony out of my head.

  5. Don’t beat yourself up over it. We all have memories creep in our heads sometimes, and usually our memory glosses over anything that was bad and only remembers the good, at least at first. And sometimes during sex you have to think about something that turns you on, to get that little spark going again. All this is perfectly normal, and definitely isn’t an indicator of a problem or a relationship about to go awry.

    Just relax and enjoy your time with your guy, whether it lasts a month or forever. Worrying and fretting can wait until later, if needed.

  6. It sounds lovely – up to the point of fantasizing about someone else. If it’s a concern for you, perhaps it needs to be sorted through, but truly, a lot of people fantasize during sex.

    • Thank you… it was different for me which startled me. And I know for sure there is a big different in instant chemistry between the two of them. While certainly the chemistry with Tony didn’t make up for all the other stuff, it was super hard to walk away from. And Fox makes me so very happy in so many ways.

      I don’t normally think of other lovers when I’m having sex. But I will give myself a pass with this one.

  7. Fox is too nice for his own good. His eagerness to please comes with a whiff of neediness, which is a deep-seated turn-off. Almost every woman wants a man who is his own man, i.e. strong emotionally, not needing anyone else’s approval because that makes her believe in her gut that when they’re apart he’ll stay true to her and not be swayed by anyone else.

  8. Yeah, everyone who has already commented it totally right. Sometimes sex is just not all consuming and your mind wanders and that is not the end of the world. We’re women, we can multitask!

What do you think?