I’m going to trust; sort of.

I made my blog public again. Fox and I had a long conversation yesterday and I believe he will not read this blog again; he knows how badly he messed up in that regard. I will write more about our conversation in the next day or two.

If you missed all the drama, start with this post.

For now I will password protect the four breakup text message posts. Just in case he does come back to visit. If you aren’t Fox, feel free to email me (via my Contact Me page) and ask for the password. Easy peasy.

We aren’t back together. But I haven’t said goodbye forever, either.

Thank you for supporting me through this.


46 thoughts on “I’m going to trust; sort of.

  1. So sorry this has happened. I feel like I stepped away from reading your posts for just a second and BAM everything had spun on its head -so I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling. But I would say take your time. There is no need to rush any decision right now. Just be for a while.

  2. Oh no, I didn’t see any of that either! Not that I necessarily want to have to see it (because of the sitch, not because I don’t want to support you) but I guess when you went private it disappeared from my reader.

    Regardless, ((HUGS))

  3. It is clear I have missed something Though you had a good reason for going under the radar Or else one would not do so.
    I do had remembered you were getting together though this is the other end of the stick.
    Kind of shocked though as all seems to go so well. Guess we can never know the outcome.
    I truly hope you are doing well Ann and keep smiling while walking your path.
    Big hugs

  4. Hi Ann,

    Can you send me the login details for the private Posts? WoW I missed a lot, cause im exactly on the Same level again!
    Good Luck!


  5. I am so sorry to read the posts from the last week this morning. I have been wondering where your posts have been the last week… It had seemed to me that things were going so well with Fox.
    I’m curious as to how he found your blog? And whether he’d be able to continue seeing you without inner conflict, knowing about its existence.

    • Thanks Nadia – he searched “sex dating blog gangbang” and I’m the third entry :/

      I had told him about that experience so I guess it wasn’t much of a stretch.

      We did talk about it last night. I know I couldn’t avoid it – would be exceeds to difficult for me. He says he can. But I’m working through how I feel and what I want, at the moment.

  6. I’m really pleased to read that you’ve had productive discussions with Fox about his misstep (understatement of the day) and its consequences. I am also glad you’re taking some time to think about him, the man, and what sort of future relationship possibilities you two have. Your willingness to explore your differences and how to bridge them after this breakdown is very brave of both of you.

  7. I’m sorry Ann. Putting together only bits and pieces, based on this post. I would like to know what happened, but I cannot figure out how to request access.

  8. Ann! You’re back (well, sort of). I always get email links to your latest posts and the last one I got said I needed a password and that you’d gone private and i was so disappointed. Nevertheless, I’m so sorry to hear your path has taken a fork and you are dealing with more drama. I’d love to read more of the “protected” stuff, if I may. It sounds like Fox violated your trust and then broke it off with you? Trust is a fragile thing, especially early on in relationships, and violations can be irreparable. I wish I had something insightful to say, but I’m at a loss. xoxo

    • I never went away; just had to hide behind a private blog for a few days until I was sure it was safe to come out again. It’s still a risk, as it always is. Turns out I’m the #3 google entry for “sex dating blog gangbang” :/

      Drop me a line via my “contact me” page and I’ll send you the password.

  9. A Dutch Jew survived Auschwitz for 2 years. After his liberation he was asked how he managed to survive. His answer was as follows. “The Nazis took away my family, my belongings and even my dignity. I didn’t let them take away how I chose to perceive things.”

    • While I’m loathe to draw a parallel to my situation at all – yes, this is a wise outlook. I can’t let this affect whether and how I trust again. But it does impact how I feel about Fox.

  10. I follow your blog but have not commented before. It doesn’t seem reasonable to me to expect Fox not to search for your blog having been told it’s there. Why tell him? Also, will there come a time when the posts are unprotected? I imagine Fox knows his texts and for those who follow you it’s easier to just read than request a password. I am sure this will turn out well for both of you even if you are not together.

    • Hi Cheri – I told him because it’s a big part of my life and based on mine and fellow bloggers experiences, it’s better (although risky) to share with someone that you are blogging, assuming the relationship warrants it. I trusted him and he struck me as someone who would be fine with that knowledge. And he was, until he thought we were over and I was disposable. He now realizes how wrong he was.

      I kept his texts and my comments about them password protected for now because if he does decide to come back – against his promises to me – I don’t want him seeing his texts laid out bare along with my commentary. Of course it’s easier for my readers to not have them protected but it’s easy to request. And I do have to try to put myself first when it comes to my blog.

  11. Well, this one didn’t show up in my reader I think. Oh well… Ann, you know I always think of you (actually name you in my next post). Sending big warm hugs.

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