Fully integrating into each other’s lives.

“As a relationship progresses you hit milestones.

The last couple of days I feel we hit several. Maria staying at you place alone; me going to your Mothers birthday; chilling playing a board game with Liam.

This weekend to me is a HUGE bridge we are going to cross. Going to your friends country house; me staying overnight with Liam there.

We are becoming a fully integrated couple (if we aren’t already).

I know you asked me to stay over last night with Liam there. I said “no” because of clothes and Maria.

Before this weekend happens, I want you to be certain I am what you want; what you are looking for in a relationship. 

I am asking this well to protect me from hurt (risk management of my life post depression); and for Liam.

I know he is your son but I just feel if there is any doubt maybe he should not see me sharing a bed with Mom.

Now the psych in this will start saying well he is asking because he has doubt.

Trust me, I have no doubt. I am just trying to manage the risk of that heart on my sleeve being shattered.

Yes we can’t predict the future I agree. However this is a huge huge step in moving Ann and Fox into US.”

This was the text I received from Fox the day before we planned to go away to a friend’s place in the country for the weekend.

It was a fair question. Despite the occasional internal circular dialogue about some of his characteristics, I love this man and how he makes me feel. It’s been lovely to be in a relationship where both parties are giving it fuel and propelling it further.

So we drove in his car the few hours out of the city, with Liam in the back seat, to my friend’s country house. It was slightly risky on my part; I don’t know this friend well but we’ve hit it off on all fronts so far. I’d never met her husband. And I added a boyfriend to the mix. But they had two kids a bit older than Liam and I was confident we’d have a good time.

The four adults drank an extraordinary amount of wine on Friday night while playing cards. It was a new game for Fox and he learned it quickly and trash talked me and my friend’s husband, who were partners. I loved it. We had competitive and fun banter.

In that small house, once we went to our respective bedrooms, Fox was all over me, under the covers. He whispered dirty things in my ear while he brought me to orgasm multiple times using his fingers. Drunk and exhausted, I neglected to return the favour. He was okay with that.

We spent time outside, the lods played and helped with chores. Liam asked Fox for help with a sporting activity. Fox cooked an amazing three course meal. We snuck kisses and gropes when nobody was looking. Fox hogged the bed and told me I was sexyand beautiful every chance he got.

All in all, it was a really lovely weekend. Liam told Will that Fox was “really nice”.

It was all really good. It feels natural to be taking these steps. It is scary only in that I feel responsibility for those who are now sharing in our life.

But to have a man who treats me like this? No drama? Picking our issues? Talking through worry? Horny and romantic?

It’s not perfect. But I could get used to this.

33 thoughts on “Fully integrating into each other’s lives.

  1. I love his email/text to you….I think that’s all the best stuff of communication wrapped up in there. 😄👍🏻

  2. Love this! Love that you’re experiencing it. Love that you’re *letting* yourself experience it. There’s no such thing as perfection, but sometimes you can create something pretty close. xx

  3. I know the feeling of wondering if/when the other shoe will drop with someone who fits you in every way possible. Inside and out. Top to bottom. (You get the drift). After our first year, I stopped thinking about the shoe. Now, after eight years, a whole shoe store could drop and I wouldn’t care 😉

  4. I’m glad you had such a lovely time with him and Liam at your friend’s house. I’m glad you got to meet his daughter. And… I’m glad you’re loving these feelings.
    I’m happy for you. Maybe slightly jealous too 😉
    Enjoy Ann! You deserve it 🙂
    XO

  5. P.S. It’s a wonderful thing, isn’t it? A relationship without the drama — and with all the attraction on eevery level without having to work at it? Enjoy. It’s well deserved Ann.

  6. Embrace the normalcy of a healthy relationship. I have my moments of ineptitude when I flounder because I expect shit and get roses. I am guessing you have those moments too. They won’t happen and that’s the most amazing thing of all. Congratulations!

  7. It’s not perfect, but you are also two adults and it’s still reasonably early I say it is probably perfect enough for now and will continue to grow as long as you have conversations like the one you outlined here <3

    • I think you are quite right – in trying to find a link to an earlier post about him I read some of my early ones and was surprised that we’d sorted out a number of things already – without much conflict at all.

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