I have whiskers.

Do you remember my lovely-then-momentarily-embarrassing story about The Comedian? Well, go back and read it.

Yeah. That.

I’m ONLY 42. Why has my body decided I need to have a chin hair? What good does this do?

Well, earlier this week I spotted another hair – who am I kidding, it would more realistically and less kindly be called aΒ whiskerΒ – coming out of my cheek.

Now, my dark haired friends will probably tell me to fuck off since they have had to deal with bleaching or waxing their dark arm / face / leg hairs since puberty. I am very blonde everywhere and therefore can avoid shaving my legs for a few days without anyone noticing (I don’t, for what it’s worth).

But for me, this is a most unwelcome development. Old women have face hairs. Wrinkly Grandmothers have whiskers on their chins. NOT ME.

It reminds me of having my height measured before my surgery last year. The nurse informed me I was 5’9 3/4″ and I said “no that’s not right I am 5’10 1/2″” and when she told me I was wrong I said:

“I’m sorry but I don’t accept that reality.”

Because shrinking 3/4 of an inch means I’m getting older and have to start thinking about calcium and early osteoarthritis and all that.

Yet I feel better now – mentally and physically – than I did at 25. So I can’t be a shrinking woman with whiskers.

I suppose I can be those things and also be a bad ass mofo with a new bike and no fear and a sex machine under my bed and three drawers of sex toys and restraints – right??

39 thoughts on “I have whiskers.

  1. Ha! Yes, I totally relate to the “Bu… but I’ve never felt better or sexier in my life!” moment!
    Let me go get that aging body of mine ready for tonight’s date. We all know it takes much more time now than it did then!
    (Who am I kidding? I still don’t wear make-up (less chances of it running πŸ˜‰ ) and will wear my favourite jeans, that should do for once!)
    Love you, hairy or not (and I too have some chin hair. Which annoys the hell out of me as I have a tick that makes me rub it and rub it and… ugh! You’re definitely not alone!)
    XO

  2. I should be in the same boat as you as a redhead (well, naturally, I mean) except the lovely symptoms of PCOS mean I have been dealing with this for quite a while.

    I am hoping when I get perimenopausal/menopausal and all that finally shutds down that I won’t have to deal with it ever again! (yeah, I know, that isn’t how it works, but I have to dream…)

  3. Whiskers β‰  age. Sometimes it’s a hormonal thing, sometimes not. At age 25, I moved overseas for a year and developed a few whiskers. Some time later, I moved overseas elsewhere for a year and got more whiskers. In my case, I think it was the stress. I don’t like them and I find them rather irritating, but a sign of age? Nope. It has no meaning unless you assign it meaning.

  4. I am 40 and have been plucking chin hairs for about 20 years. My grandma and mom both had / have them. So it’s something I have always had to deal with. I check my damn face, every single morning!! It’s not fair being a woman! πŸ™‚

  5. Don’t worry, there are guys like me out there who find body hair hot! And I can tell you still have it by reading your blog πŸ™‚ (sex appeal, not body hair)

  6. I’m a fake blonde, both of my grandmothers had a bit of a mustache. I’ve gotten over the facial hair issue. Or maybe I’ve just gotten used to it. However, when it dawned on me that pubes turn white sooner or later, I created a whole new reason for anxiety and dread. Aging sucks. πŸ™‚

  7. I’m so glad I’m not alone with the shrinking thing! I went to the doctor a few years ago and when she measured me, she said, β€œFive-three and three-quarters.” I was stunned – I’ve been 5’4” and a half (and that half is IMPORTANT) since my late teens. I made her measure again to be sure – and then the doctor ordered a bone density exam when I complained to her about the β€œmistake.” My bones look in fine shape, apparently – so now I’m wondering if I’ve just been crazy all these years or if I’m really shrinking!

  8. I was 30 and NO one had informed me about extra hair. My NEW and younger boyfriend says “oh look you have a Dominque (my long haired Doberman) hair.” He lovingly goes to remove my dog’s hair from my throat. Imagine my horror, disgust, revulsion and embarrassment when WE discover that it is attached. He knew about such things but I did not. There should be a book of horrible information. My friends laughed at me. I feel for you Ann.

  9. I have a solitary hair on my chin that I’ve been plucking for years. And the day I found white pubic hair, was the day I decided that full waxing was a good idea. I like to reside in the river in Egypt, on this topic! LB

What do you think?