Feeling the weight of a very good situation.

I’m entering into a bona fide serious relationship with Fox. It feels good and makes me nervous all at the same time.

Why nervous?

With great power comes great responsibility. That’s why.

The good stuff is pretty obvious. I feel adored and accepted and desired. Fox knows the whole me and likes me. For a sexually bold, adventurous, and highly experienced woman who has no intention of slowing down, this is a big fucking deal. Finding a man willing to see the Mom, executive, and insatiable slut? I know he thinks he’s the one that’s hit the jackpot, but ssshhhhh, it’s actually me.

Oh yeah – he also knows I blog and has the right amount of confidence and disinterest to sincerely, at least now, not care one whit. I’m able to talk about my real life friends who I met through this blog, the real story of Johnny Id, and tell him when I need some alone time to write.

I feel so relaxed about certain aspects of this relationship. It’s wonderful.

Other things scare me.

Actually, scared isn’t the right word. I’m not scared anymore, remember?

I feel the weight of the situation, more than anything.

This is not something to be taken lightly. I’m not flirting about with some big cocked player. This isn’t a doomed relationship due to terrible timing. Fox is the polar opposite of the 30 year-old Shenanigans.

As fun as this is, we’ve got gravitas.

This is real. This is a guy who is ready for a serious relationship and wants it with me. He is a package deal; he comes with a 16 year-old daughter who lives with him full-time. She had a rather rough last several months and is currently estranged from her mother. I’m keenly aware should she and I bond, and it doesn’t work out with Fox, it will be a loss for her. I have lots to write about meeting her this past weekend.

Then there’s Liam. My darling son met Fox on Sunday; we went to a sporting event together. While Will had no issue introducing Colleen’s children into Liam’s life quickly, I want to be careful with how exposed he gets to Fox.

A while ago I defined what a serious relationship was. Fox and I are ticking all these boxes and there is something really powerful about the feeling. But it can’t just be the feeling which propels me; it’s about him as well.

And as magical as it is, I’m trying to be very careful and measured in how we move forward. I am loath to repeat past mistakes.

This is the opportunity to prove to myself I’ve learned something in the last two years. To not get seduced by what “should” be, but to stay true to myself. To listen to my gut. To be a giving lover and equal partner. To not let passion diminish as intimacy and familiarity grows.

…and more than anything, to really let myself be open to the possibility of an amazing relationship with a real and true love.

36 thoughts on “Feeling the weight of a very good situation.

      • As long as Fox controls the relationship and remains emotionally dominant and takes the initiative you will stay attracted to him.
        If not…you will be bored in the long run, see him as your son, lose attraction and find something new.

        But I think it will really work out, because when women age they know that their dating value has decreased and that they have less options and start to look for long term commitment from a men even if that man is not “No 1” on their sexual fantasy list.

  1. Oh Ann! Every day that goes by without a post from you, I’m thinking “she’s out there, enjoy life” and I’m happy for you!
    Yes, there is some responsibility to any relationship. And if you get to know his daughter and develop a bond, she is also old enough to kep that bond going if she needs to, and both Fox and you seem open enough people to allow that to happen, not to part on angry terms.
    As with anything, there is a risk in life. But it feels, from your writing, that it’s a risk worth taking. 🙂
    Happy hugs coming your way!

    • Dawn, that’s so sweet of you. I’ve been busy and happy these days 🙂

      I have a lot to process and frankly have missed writing it all out. Hopefully this week I will have some time to dive deeper into some of what I’m feeling.

      That’s a good point about his daughter; I’m not getting ahead of myself but I’m so aware that we are involving more people than just the two of us.

      But I agree with you – greater risk equal greater reward.

      xoxo

  2. So happy for you Ann! And someday I hope to meet my own Mr. Fox like man! He’s out there, I know it and can feel it, just haven’t met him yet. Sometimes I feel like my own open style of sexuality might be too intimidating for some to handle. I’ve learned to filter what I tell some of them. 😉 I wish you nothing but the best!!!!

    • Thank you so much!!

      Even when I’ve experienced bad stuff, I’ve never lost hope that there is something amazing out there for me.

      Who knows what will happen long term with Fox, but this is really great right now.

      It’s difficult to let people know all of you, when we are used to being judged or rejected for some aspects. I wish you well on your journey too!

    • Thank you Andi!! There’s a lot of learning behind these words and I don’t think I could have gotten to this place had I not been open to change and exploration. It’s been a pretty intense two years.

      There is definitely hope – I’ve never really doubted it and you shouldn’t either.

  3. “With great power comes great responsibility.”
    You’re such a nerd, Ann…

    But seriously, I’m overjoyed for you.
    You deserve love, REAL love, not Tony’s version of love.
    Good luck, young lady.

  4. Ann I’ve been so busy with life I haven’t caught up on your blog but I am so damn happy to read this!! Enjoy this time, breathe it in (real deep) & do what feels good/right for you & Mr Fox. Big love to you both!
    Ps. I met a Mr Forrester 5.5 months ago and he’s still blowing my mind!

  5. Ann you write one of the great blogs…ever. It’s always interesting, personal, eloquent and usually fun too. You write with what seems to be no fear, and I love it for that. If you never wrote another thing (and please don’t let it be that) then I’ve thoroughly enjoyed it, but I hope for many words to come.

    • Wow, David. Thank you…I’m humbled and flattered you think so.

      I will say I am rarely afraid anymore. The whole point of my writing is to help me process what I’m going through, so I figure being anything other than true and honest isn’t going to help.

      Thanks for stopping by and commenting. It means a lot.

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