I’ve been doing well focusing on Fox and am excited to see him on Sunday.
It was Tony’s birthday on Friday. He knew I knew this fact, as we had talked about plans for jointly celebrating our birthdays.
In deciding my course of action regarding him, I knew I had to make a decision whether to send him a “Happy Birthday” text. For all he knows, nothing has changed in my approach to him. While I didn’t tell him I had changed my mind about not contacting him regularly, given our last two meetings it would be reasonable for him to think I would reach out to him again.
I may have forgotten to mention it, but he came over the night before I left on vacation. We went for dinner to my favorite Italian restaurant, talked non stop, and well, you know the rest. He put my bags in the taxi I took to pick up Liam to get to the airport.
Back to my decision. Even if he and I weren’t seeing each other, if he didn’t text me to wish me a Happy Birthday I would be rather hurt.
I’m not angry at Tony and have no desire to treat him badly or punish him – he hasn’t been maliciously neglectful, he’s just unable or unwilling to give me what I need.
I firmly believe you get back what you put out into the universe.
I decided to send him the Happy Birthday text. I sincerely hoped he would say “thank you” and that would be it. I knew he was shooting that day so it made me think my plan would work.
Yes, really, I hoped the conversation would die. I don’t know yet how to deal with it if / when he asks to see me. I don’t know how to make it about me and my needs instead of telling him he’s “failed”. I don’t want to be tempted.
I sent the text early that morning. Said simply “Happy Birthday Tony. I hope you have a great day and are appropriately celebrated!”
A couple of hours went by and I breathed a sigh of relief. But of course he did text me back, a comment about something that went wrong that morning at work.
I deleted the text and didn’t respond. He didn’t continue the conversation.
Until late that afternoon:
“When do you come back?”
After freaking out a little and asking a sage friend for advice I simply said “tomorrow afternoon”.
He followed up immediately with “Cool enjoy your last night 🙂 Have a good flight back.”
To which I simply said “thanks”
That was Friday. I haven’t heard anything since and I’m dreading when I do. It’s just a matter of time.
I need to be ready.