Fox and I had our fifth date a week after my party (not counting it as a date); I had invited him to join me at a sporting event.
Liam was still with me, as Will had taken a 10 day trip with Colleen and her children (it’s a whole other post trying to understand why he didn’t take Liam). He was staying with my Mom overnight so I could go to the game.
Fox met me at our arranged pick up spot, needing some guidance from me on where exactly to be, as he’s not familiar with our city core. It was ever so slightly annoying that the man with built-in GPS who works a five-minute drive from there couldn’t figure it out. Any whiff of helplessness is a massive turn off for me – in men and women.
And while this may sound petty…it bugs me he’s a slow driver. I wonder if our driving reflects our personality. Mine certainly does: I alter my pace and approach to suit the situation. I have quick reflexes. By default I’m aggressive. I listen to music all the time, generally loudly – everything from Metallica (as I type this right now, “Enter Sandman” is playing) to Mozart.
We had a great time at the event. He’s such a gentleman – opening doors and making sure he’s always on the street side of the sidewalk. We shared food. Didn’t drink. He holds my hand and leans over to kiss me – it’s nice. His kisses aren’t particularly passionate when he’s in public. It’s not even a PDA thing – I’m able to give someone a relatively quick kiss that conveys the simmering passion underneath. I don’t feel that from him, but I know the desire is there.
I don’t think I mentioned – as one of my close girlfriends left my party the week before, she commented that Fox seemed like a great guy but said “are you sure he’s not gay?” I said I didn’t think so. And in my debrief with Katharine, she also said “I didn’t want to say anything, but he seemed effeminate to me.”
Not sure what to make of that. Anyway.
I need to tell him I like it when a man has an opinion about things and who picks up on my signals. Case in point:
A day or two before our date there was some serious flirting via text. He mentions he can’t wait to ravage me on Saturday night. I say yes please, as many times as possible. So we have established he’s excited to have another night with me.
At the event, I try to subtly suggest perhaps we could leave before the event is over so we won’t have such a late night back at my place, where he is staying overnight. He says “I’m open to whatever you want. Maybe we could get a drink somewhere near your place.” This from the man eager to ravage me?! I say “or we could just go back to my place”.
He says again “totally up to you”. Fine. So I say “I’d like to leave at 9 and would prefer to go back to my place so we don’t gave such a late night.”
We get back to my place around 10pm and I offer him a drink. Water only. He doesn’t drink often because it is extra calories. Two years ago he lost 100 pounds. He is very careful in order to keep it off.
Control is a theme with this one. And despite insisting he wants a very confident woman (something he says he loves about me), I don’t sense the same from him. I asked him whether he still saw himself as a heavy man; of course he does. He has strict rules about his eating.
He also has strict rules about his schedule. He has a teenager who now lives with him full time and he wants to be home overnight every night they are home – which is six nights a week. He won’t come over to my place after Liam is asleep because a) he doesn’t want him to wake up when he is there, and b) it makes for too late a night. He is however very open about his restrictions and says at some point he may be comfortable introducing me to his child and then I could stay over at their place.
He also has many things planned with friends. He said he likes to be busy and while at some point he would integrate me into some of the things he does, he doesn’t want to be in a position where a break up leaves him with no plans. He said this apologetically and I assured him not only did I think it was wise but that I was similar.
He told me he knows his schedule is limited and that it’s one reason he thinks he’s single – he figures women don’t think he’s serious. I told him I was well aware he was serious.
We have our drinks (water for him, wine for me) and he wants to play me some vinyl. I’m now waiting to see when the ravaging will occur. I find that I’m annoyed, then I’m annoyed with myself for being annoyed. I try to relax into it, telling myself he moves at his own pace and to just take it easy; not every man has to jump my proverbial bones upon crossing my threshold.
Once he decides to kiss me it’s good. He says “let me see what happens when I do this” as he grabs my ponytail and my neck at the same time. A test of my submission. I like it and he notices. We make our way upstairs to my bedroom. He pushes me on to the bed, turns me on to my stomach, kisses and touches me all over. Fingers me to orgasm a few times.
We have sex several different ways and just like last time, when I get on top we manage to bring me to a full body orgasm – the kind that leaves me spent for at least a few minutes. It’s something about how he moves and our fit and I have no complaints. We manage to cum together which is always a bonus.
But I couldn’t help comparing it all to the man I’d been with that morning and the night before.
And for what it’s worth, I’m now pretty much up-to-date. Except the whole “who did Ann have sex with the night before” thing. Which is coming as soon as I write it. I kinda wanted to focus on Fox in this post.