My fifth date with the Fox.

Fox and I had our fifth date a week after my party (not counting it as a date); I had invited him to join me at a sporting event.

Liam was still with me, as Will had taken a 10 day trip with Colleen and her children (it’s a whole other post trying to understand why he didn’t take Liam). He was staying with my Mom overnight so I could go to the game.

Fox met me at our arranged pick up spot, needing some guidance from me on where exactly to be, as he’s not familiar with our city core. It was ever so slightly annoying that the man with built-in GPS who works a five-minute drive from there couldn’t figure it out. Any whiff of helplessness is a massive turn off for me – in men andย women.

And while this may sound petty…it bugs me he’s a slow driver. I wonder if our driving reflects our personality. Mine certainly does: I alter my pace and approach to suit the situation. I have quick reflexes. By default I’m aggressive. I listen to music all the time, generally loudly – everything from Metallica (as I type this right now, “Enter Sandman” is playing) to Mozart.

We had a great time at the event. He’s such a gentleman – opening doors and making sure he’s always on the street side of the sidewalk. We shared food. Didn’t drink. He holds my hand and leans over to kiss me – it’s nice. His kisses aren’t particularly passionate when he’s in public. It’s not even a PDA thing – I’m able to give someone a relatively quick kiss that conveys the simmering passion underneath. I don’t feel that from him, but I know the desire is there.

I don’t think I mentioned – as one of my close girlfriends left my party the week before, she commented that Fox seemed like a great guy but said “are you sure he’s not gay?” I said I didn’t think so. And in my debrief with Katharine, she also said “I didn’t want to say anything, but he seemed effeminate to me.”

Not sure what to make of that. Anyway.

I need to tell him I like it when a man has an opinion about things and who picks up on my signals. Case in point:

A day or two before our date there was some serious flirting via text. He mentions he can’t wait to ravage me on Saturday night. I say yes please, as many times as possible. So we have established he’s excited to have another night with me.

At the event, I try to subtly suggest perhaps we could leave before the event is over so we won’t have such a late night back at my place, where he is staying overnight. He says “I’m open to whatever you want. Maybe we could get a drink somewhere near your place.” This from the man eager to ravage me?! I say “or we could just go back to my place”.

He says again “totally up to you”. Fine. So I say “I’d like to leave at 9 and would prefer to go back to my place so we don’t gave such a late night.”


We get back to my place around 10pm and I offer him a drink. Water only. He doesn’t drink often because it is extra calories. Two years ago he lost 100 pounds. He is very careful in order to keep it off.

Control is a theme with this one. And despite insisting he wants a very confident woman (something he says he loves about me), I don’t sense the same from him. I asked him whether he still saw himself as a heavy man; of course he does. He has strict rules about his eating.

He also has strict rules about his schedule. He has a teenager who now lives with him full time and he wants to be home overnight every night they are home – which is six nights a week. He won’t come over to my place after Liam is asleep because a) he doesn’t want him to wake up when he is there, and b) it makes for too late a night. He is however very open about his restrictions and says at some point he may be comfortable introducing me to his child and then I could stay over at their place.

He also has many things planned with friends. He said he likes to be busy and while at some point he would integrate me into some of the things he does, he doesn’t want to be in a position where a break up leaves him with no plans. He said this apologetically and I assured him not only did I think it was wise but that I was similar.

He told me he knows his schedule is limited and that it’s one reason he thinks he’s single – he figures women don’t think he’s serious. I told him I was well aware he was serious.

We have our drinks (water for him, wine for me) and he wants to play me some vinyl. I’m now waiting to see when the ravaging will occur. I find that I’m annoyed, then I’m annoyed with myself for being annoyed. I try to relax into it, telling myself he moves at his own pace and to just take it easy; not every man has to jump my proverbial bones upon crossing my threshold.

Once he decides to kiss me it’s good. He says “let me see what happens when I do this” as he grabs my ponytail and my neck at the same time. A test of my submission. I like it and he notices. We make our way upstairs to my bedroom. He pushes me on to the bed, turns me on to my stomach, kisses and touches me all over. Fingers me to orgasm a few times.

We have sex several different ways and just like last time, when I get on top we manage to bring me to a full body orgasm – the kind that leaves me spent for at least a few minutes. It’s something about how he moves and our fit and I have no complaints. We manage to cum together which is always a bonus.

But I couldn’t help comparing it all to the man I’d been with that morning and the night before.

And for what it’s worth, I’m now pretty much up-to-date. Except the whole “who did Ann have sex with the night before” thing. Which is coming as soon as I write it. I kinda wanted to focus on Fox in this post.

[The post about who I’d been with the night before]

27 thoughts on “My fifth date with the Fox.

  1. Looking forward to seeing how things play out. Most men will not be a grand romance, only special ones, but take the best parts from this relationship and enjoy them.

    • It’s a good reminder Caroline. It’s hard to have gone from Tony (some aspects) to anyone else, but on the other hand there are things about Fox that are a great departure from Tony.

      • Perhaps a great departure but I sense a slight disturbance in the Force, like when he says he’s gonna ravage you, you don’t like that he doesn’t get right to the ravaging. Lemme ask you something: How do you feel about being an item on a to-do list?

          • I was referring to how scheduled his life seems to be which could make spending time with you interesting – so is having to be on his schedule ok with you or not?

          • On the one hand, I respect that he knows what he needs to do to keep his life in order. And, putting one’s kid first completely makes sense.

            On the other hand, I do like a bit of rebellion and too much rigidity turns me off. So it’s a balance.

            He did tell me that when it came to the plans with friends, at some point he would want to start to integrate me into them. But he’s being cautious about that, which makes perfect sense to me.

  2. It’s interesting that you asked him about still seeing himself as a heavy guy, because it entered my mind when you wrote that he lost 100lbs. (That’s amazing, by the way!) I was thinking that this has GOT to play into his behavior both in and out of bed. I’m with totallycaroline on the not every guy is a grand romance idea – I think some men can be absolutely volcanic (in a good way) and still many others that are comfortable like a cozy blanket. Both are good – the trick is to find the right balance in the SAME man. My husband, when we got back together after 25 years, was more reserved about approaching me for sex – he seemed to follow my lead more than I remembered when we were 17. I assumed it was out of respect for me as a woman, but I quickly reminded him how my dirty mind works LOL.

    I dated two guys in my 20s who seemed “soft” and a bit effeminate, but were both very skilled lovers who were definitely NOT gay (and so far are still not). Still, I was never a big fan of effeminate behavior in my men.

    • I wouldn’t have normally thought about it if not for a friend who said that I should be aware of the impact this kind of weight loss can have on someone. He definitely has some residual issues from it which I suppose is to be expected.

      That’s a great story about your husband and interesting about the difference after so much time had passed!

  3. I don’t know why, but the way you write about this guy, I now sense little passion. Nor interest really… Looking forward to reading more and about the guy you had sex with. (I have a faint idea who it might be ๐Ÿ˜‰ ).

    • There is interest, but the passion isn’t really there. I think it’s slow to ignite. Each interaction is getting a bit better, and I’m trying to be patient with things that might normally irritate me but I don’t want to let some petty things get in the way of what really matters.

      (and yeah, don’t guess… the post goes up tomorrow and you can tell me if you guessed right!)

  4. I hate when people say “he is effeminate” – masculinity doesn’t come in only one form. So here is a thought provoker – I wonder if he doesn’t want you to be a bit more dominant with him. Im picking up on something….my dommie senses are tingling

      • +1 to hating when people playing the ‘effeminate’ card as soon as a man doesn’t behave like some ‘typical dude’. Ugh. Hate.

        I read this the same way as Madame: He sounds like a pleaser, which I love. Though of course I tend to WANT to see submission in men (duh!), and aw yeah, I’d be loving this guy for this kind of ‘no, your preference’ behavior.

        Having said that, on this occasion, it was your party, and the first time for him with your friends: it’s pretty hard, as the new person and the interloper, to say ‘Yeah, I’m done with your friends, let’s go’ because you KNOW however he said that, some women would be all ‘geez, he couldn’t wait to get away from my friends, what a jerkface’.

        Also pegging is just a sex act. Doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with being submissive (it might, but in and of itself, it doesn’t): erogenous zones are erogenous zones.


        • He was great with my friends, no question.

          I’m not quite sure about the perceptions of him being gay. I hadn’t picked up on it myself and while I don’t necessarily correlate the pegging the way you say, in his case he’s definitely got a submissive side. I think he’s still exploring.

  5. I’m sensing a man really falling for you here…gonna keep reading to see if I’m right.
    BTW – I totally misspelled your name in my last comment. I’m so sorry – that’s rude of me! I’d like to use the whole “I’m buried in an airport thing” but I’ve been up a couple of hours now and should be awake.

What do you think?