Rules are made to be broken. Sometimes.

While I posted my new dating rules just a couple days ago, they have been in effect for longer. And you may have noted I said I have different rules when it comes to sexual exploration. Which I’m not pursuing with the same intensity, but it’s still something I’m interested in. Especially since I’m not going to sleep with someone on the first date – a rule I didn’t even write!! – I have to get it somewhere.

I have two stories to share with you:

1) Your kinks are not my kinks

The first occurred at the tail end of my no-contact time with Tony. A woman reached out to me on FetLife saying she and her boyfriend of a year had broken up and he spotted my profile on FetLife and was intrigued.

While skeptical at first, once I established she wasn’t full of it and he was a real guy, he and I started emailing. He was clear he wasn’t looking for a relationship but he’d be open to just having one ongoing sexual relationship. He was HOT. So I figured why the hell not, and although I was ill I agreed to meet him for lunch. He knew I was sick and agreed to meet me anyway.

He was charming and funny and intelligent. He ran his own business. But what drew me in were his completely luscious lips and bedroom eyes. Shallow but true.

I wanted to fuck this man…so that’s what I did.

Not for the first time, the words going through my head during our afternoon delight were “dude, your kinks are not my kinks”.

Turns out, I’m not so much into tit slapping. Or holding my mouth open so he could fuck my face. Or him just holding my mouth open to look inside. Or his small cock that he didn’t even really fuck me well with.

I spent time masturbating after he left, so as to be satisfied.

I got him sick. Shocker. We texted for a few days afterwards. I wasn’t too upset when he politely told me as much as he loved our time together, he had met someone else he was going to focus on and didn’t have time for two. I said quite honestly I was impressed he took the time to say that, and wished him all the best.

Sidebar: He left a very dark and obvious bruise under my nipple. I had to use concealer the next day when I met Tony. Thank goodness Tony didn’t disappoint, and did pretty much the exact same thing to my breast, which prevented me from getting busted.

2) Why are the hot sexy smart ones super long distance?

I modified a few of my stories from this blog and posted them on Reddit. I was curious what kind of traffic it would drive to my blog, and what the feedback would be like. The feedback was 99% positive, and it drives traffic to my blog but barely any followers.

I had some men reach out to me with private messages. They were flirty and complimentary. One lives in New York and asked me out; perhaps on my next visit.

But one guy stood out from the rest; he’d just gotten out of a long-term relationship and they were swingers. He wrote thoughtful and interesting messages. We took our conversation from Reddit to email.

He sent me a picture. Fatal flaw for asking, Ann… fatal flaw.

Of course, he’s tall, dark, handsome, fit, well endowed, intelligent, and we are definitely sexually aligned. And over 2,000 miles from where I live. Dammit.

So yes, it’s 100% in violation of my rules. There is so little point engaging with someone long distance. I’ve done it before – and yes, of course, it was a wonderful romance while it lasted. It is also asking for so. much. trouble. Especially since he knows about the blog and has read a thing or two over here (hello, my handsome friend).

He wants someone to talk to. He wishes there were people he could tell everything to – and we’ve talked about my experiences blogging and how wonderful it’s been for me. I told him I’m happy to talk about pretty much anything with him but I don’t want to hear the details of his sexual exploits. I’m fine to know – for example – that this week he has three dates lined up with women he’s met online – and one has to be careful to not squirt every time she cums.

That’s enough information for me.

His ex was taller and heavier than me so he completely understands I don’t want to hear about the little Thai woman he fucked last week. One of the few sexual things I can’t be is the kind of woman a man can hoist around his hips and fuck her against a wall. Well, perhaps an incredibly strong basketball player. But I haven’t met any of those.

I’m not sure what’s going to happen with him, if anything. He is nice enough to say good morning and goodnight, and we text occasionally throughout the day. I’d be intrigued to meet him but in some ways that would make things much more difficult if we did have an amazing connection. He’s just come out of a relationship, and I would  ideally like to be in one.

What I’m not doing is getting ahead of myself. At all. For now he’s fun to talk to, sends fantastic cock shots (although I’m just as likely to ask for face or other parts), and I’m okay with breaking my rule for him.

47 thoughts on “Rules are made to be broken. Sometimes.

  1. I’m not even saying a word about long distance after Cornwall! Lol. I totally understand! Sow times I just think we like a little alignment in our flirts….I suppose as long as we keep our ultimate expectations low and stay aware if can be fun.

  2. Oh well… some people aren’t in long distance relationships, but still need to be aware of what they get themselves into 😉
    Sigh!
    We’ll figure it out, one day, we WILL, ladies!

  3. The dating rules you have established for yourself are good, but the flexibility for consciously setting them aside is better. I am a pretty consistent rule-abiding person, but I fear missing unique opportunities if I am too rigid in always following the letter of the law. I think your mindful rule-breaking is overall a healthy practice.

  4. Rules? Hmmm. I have an entirely different set of rules…most of which cannot be broken.

    Your rules are much more flexible though developed by way of trial and error…and pain.

  5. I’ve never had the nerve to tit slap some girl. Too afraid I’d get slapped up side the head. But a lot of porn now a days includes titty and face slapping so someone must like it. A lot of girls like to be spanked or nipple pinched or twisted but a lot don’t and so I’d never try some shit like that unless it was with someone I knew well and had worked up to it. Same with face fucking, a lot like that possibly because it’s “dirty” and “demeaning” but we are all different and our kinks vary a lot.

    • Exactly. I like to be spanked, under the right conditions. But the tit stuff did nothing for me. A pinch here and there, hard sucking, yes…

      And I don’t like to be degraded or demeaned. It’s not my thing at all and I don’t even like it when it turns my partner on.

    • Yea I see it in porn all the time now too, just usually in the very hardcore stuff. Don’t get me wrong, I am into having a good time, a little pain, face fucking (if It is done right, holding a girls mouth open, not my thing. More of a hair grabber), spanking, pushing the limits…but tit slapping, I just don’t see it, especially with all the other fun things that you can do with them!

  6. What’s reddit all about? I have another blog where I wrote some of my sexual exploits for anonymity but it’s hard to promote a secret blog. Or rather I’m too lazy to really invest time in it.

    • Reddit is a site where people share links and content they’ve created / found on the internet. Self-promotion is generally frowned up (eg only posting links to your blog). There are tons of discussion forums / news / etc… everything from historical documents to (one of my faves) “forearm porn”. Yup, pictures of hot forearms.

      If you ever want to post your exploits somewhere you can guest blog for me here! We wouldn’t have to tie it to you 🙂

  7. It always seems that the person who interests you the most doesn’t live, say, two streets over from where you live. One of the greatest loves in my life lived 200 miles from me…

    • Well, to be perfectly blunt I’m not sure the point of spending time on something long distance unless there’s some desire to be emotional. I mean, I’m not against having friends – many of the friends I’ve made through this blog are long distance – but I only have so much time to spare…

What do you think?