My gangbang fantasy became a reality – sort of (3)

Part One | Part Two

I went back downstairs where the main bar and activities were occurring. I was a little bit sex stupid and my legs were still shaky from the orgasms.

An ice breaker activity was about to start. As soon as one of the hosts saw me, she came over and enthusiastically asked me if I wanted to join. “Sure!” I said, and she led me over to the middle of three bar stools where I sat, flanked between a naked man with nipple piercings and a naked woman.

The man greeted me and I complimented him on his piercings. I asked whether I could touch one, and at the same time he said “oh I have a prince albert one too” so there was a little confusion and some giggles when I had to clarify I didn’t want to touch his cock.

Although in hindsight, I wish I’d checked it out. That shit looks painful.

The ice breaker involved licking whipped cream off our breasts / chest. And the best part? I had another first…they asked whether I minded if a woman would be the one to lick me. Why sure! They worried about getting whipped cream on my “dress” so I stripped then and there. Naked on a stool sitting in front of 40 strangers.

My partner was great, it was kinda hot, and the first round they said was a tie between us and the guy sitting next to me. So they had to do it again…which was fine by me – turns out I don’t mind when a woman pays attention to my breasts. My partner won, but since she worked for the club I got a coupon for half-off my next visit.

Coupon in hand, I wandered back into the crowd, and came face-to-face with the blonde Dom. He said he had seen me upstairs and I seemed to be having a good time. We chatted for a few minutes, there was another blonde talking to him and at one point he commented that he wanted to be with two hot blondes.

He asked if I’d ever been to the sauna, and off we went. It was me and three men in towels. The Dom and I made small talk, then he asked me to suck his cock, which I did. In hindsight I wished I’d asked one of the other men there if I could play with him as well, as he was very handsome.

The Dom asked me if I wanted to go to the Dungeon, which I did. Up we went. It was empty. He put me on a spanking bench, face down, ass up. He kissed me, and started to spank me. He finger fucked me multiple times but stopped each time I was on the verge of orgasm. The spankings continued, and he checked in occasionally to ask if I was okay. I sucked his cock while he held my head down on the bench.

He had confidence and control and I felt safe with him. I fully submitted to him.

I could see out of the corner of my eye I had a growing audience. I couldn’t see them. He asked me if I wanted someone to “lick my pussy”. I said yes. I could hear him ask “would you like to lick her pussy” and moments later, that’s exactly what happened.

Shortly afterwards, he sent whoever was there away and said I should take a break. I sat on a bench and had some water. We were alone again. He told me to get on my knees and suck his cock, which I did. I can’t remember what he said or did but I recall saying I wasn’t a true submissive. Obviously, my behaviour said otherwise. Between licking and sucking, I asked him if he was deliberately edging me earlier.

I said I was close to squirting each time and asked him if he could make that happen. I barely realised there was a crowd again. He pulled me up onto my knees and swiftly brought me to an orgasm with squirting. I left a puddle on the floor. I asked him for more.

He told me to get up on a padded waist high bench. I lay down. I don’t remember if he asked me, but I heard him say “you three, come here”, and the next thing I knew, there were hands on me everywhere. I was brought to orgasm by a very skilled brown hand.

But I realized the Dom wasn’t one of the men around me. I sat up to look for him, and he was gone.

For a moment that was fine, and I laid back down to enjoy their ministrations, but then it wasn’t. I felt abandoned, very strange, and freaked out.  I sat up and told all the men I needed a break. They wandered off. I put my dress back on, went downstairs to the bar, where I found him already dressed and about to leave.

I wish I could remember our whole conversation. I asked him why he left me and he said something about me being a bad girl, that he came back after getting dressed and I seemed to be having a good time.

I felt very, very unsettled.

When the Dom left, another man came over to chat with me – it wasn’t sexual, just talk. Afterwards I went to the bathroom, noticing there were way more hot young guys there, several of whom I would gladly have played with, but I couldn’t shake how strange I felt.

I got dressed, got a taxi, and went home. I texted a girlfriend who asked me to check in with her when I was safely home. She commented I seemed shell shocked, and then I realized what was happening to me.

I needed aftercare and I wasn’t getting it.

45 thoughts on “My gangbang fantasy became a reality – sort of (3)

  1. Omg this makes me feel so sad for you. 🙁
    What the hell is wrong with these men. You would think they would have the sense to let you know they are leaving. I’m all for allowing someone to “use” my body, but at least have the common courtesy to say thanks for the fun time but I need to go…and then make sure everyone feels okay/safe. The way both these guys have behaved is horrible.

    Aftercare is so important, especially for women. I remember after my foursome with my AP, we had to go to our separate homes and he wasn’t very available that night. I felt so alone and like I really needed to talk it out. Nothing bad had happened but it really felt like I needed a “debrief”. I ended up emailing him, telling him so, and then he managed to sneak out so he could email me for a bit. I told him after that incident that if we play with others again we need to ensure we build in some time for after, for just the two of us.

    I’m sorry those guys turned out to be such rude dill-holes.

    • Kris didn’t bother me all that much but it was partly because I wan’t submissive with him. I was just irritated.

      But the submission I gave to the Dom seemed to make everything different for me. I gave myself over to him and then had a weird “coming down” experience where I really just needed to have a cuddle and a kind word. I’ve never experienced anything like that before…and it was only after the second experience.

      Yes, I wish that the Dom had not behaved the way he did – I also didn’t know what to ask for in advance or articulate how I was feeling when I found him ready to leave.

    • I trusted him because he acted very much like a “real” Dom up until that point…checking in with me during the spanking, making sure I was okay, etc.

      But something changed, obviously, when he decided to leave. Or at least he thought I was fine when he saw I was still playing with the men he left me with.

      If it was me, I would have checked in again, just to make sure everything was fine. I would not have assumed based on what I saw. Especially given I was in a very submissive place at the time.

    • Both, actually. I think the Dom should have verbally checked in with me to ask if I was okay and told me he was leaving. If I knew he was leaving I could then make a choice whether to continue. I thought he was still in the room, observing.

      I also didn’t know that I would get into that submissive headspace so easily with the spanking. I’ve only experienced that before with someone who has stayed around afterwards, so had no idea I would need aftercare.

      Every time I said no to something, the men would listen to that. I was not put in a position where I felt in danger. It was actually pretty powerful up until then. The big difference for me in the second situation was obviously I had submitted to him, and trusted him, and that was a different dynamic for me.

      • Are you feeling better today? I’m sure that I would lose myself in the spanking, too. I am clueless about these clubs, the dynamics/expectations. I speak only out of concern for you as your trust has been broken twice now by men you expected to keep you safe.

        • I’m fine but still processing my reactions to things.

          I don’t think Kris violated my trust as much as the Dom. The difference being the submission as a result of the spanking, and the headspace I’m in as a sub. The dynamic was different and I had an expectation of trust that was deeper as a result…so my reaction to him leaving was stronger.

  2. Don’t fret too much about the Dom abandoning you as even though you maybe somewhat submissive, you are still strong willed and a Dom needs to have you completely under his/her influence. So he may have felt like he was not in control and that’s bad news for a Dom.

    I don’t think you are a submissive as much as a willing participant and open for most everything. You didn’t indicate if the spanking did anything for you and maybe you didn’t react enough from getting your ass whipped. LOL I’m sure that you realize you can’t be all things to all people and some kinks may turn you on but others don’t.

    Congrats for getting naked in front of a bunch of people, that’s not easy for most people. We were at a convention once where the club had rented a Holiday Inn and it was closed except for us. So I’m wandering around about 2am, seeing if I can get into trouble when I spied a big crowd in the gym. Walking in I find wifey buck naked in the middle, on a bench, as a girl sucked her off over and over.

    That was a surprise for me as while she loves to dress as skimpy as she can, she rarely gets completely naked in a crowd especially if they are all strangers. Then I catch her sprawled out with random strangers playing with her as some cutie from Cleveland eats her out.

    So being the dutiful husband, I sat down behind the girl who would turn and kiss me every time wifey shot off in her mouth. My wife and I both love pussy kisses. 🙂

    • The spanking absolutely put me into a different headspace, but you are correct that perhaps when I asked for something, he didn’t like it, and I also told him I was an Alpha Submissive (like I knew WTF I was talking about, lol) and so he may have made quite a reasonable assumption I would have been fine.

      I didn’t realize how I would react to the spanking afterwards. Each time before it’s happened, it’s been with someone who’s been around me afterwards. I hadn’t really realised that they had been giving me aftercare.

      I couldn’t even articulate what I felt until I was on my way home. But it was incredibly unsettling, and different from the first situation where Kris left, where I was just annoyed.

  3. It’s totally fucked up any time a woman in this situation gets freaked out because no one’s watching her back… but I’ve been told by some women that being “hung out to dry” and fend for herself is a thrill all by itself because the fear of being ravaged by a bunch of strangers is so strong in women.

    I feel bad that the Dom left you… but not really and I apologize for that sincerely. If you have such fears, it doesn’t make sense to put yourself into a situation where your fears might be realized but even if they don’t, the fear is still there – if that doesn’t take the fun out of having sex like this, I don’t know what would. I don’t knock you for it so don’t you even think like that – just learn to be fearless when you walk into the lion’s den and, yeah, I’d even suggest that you take some self-defense classes… because you never know.

    But, yeah, because I can be very chivalrous, I’d never leave a woman to the wolves and not, at the very least, keep an eye on her and more so since I know women tend to freak out when there’s too much attention being paid to her… but, yep, I also wonder why a woman would be there if she’s prone to freaking out and for this reason… but that’s why you don’t leave her to the wolves.

    I think that a lot of people – read this as probably men – feel that if you’re there, you’re ready to deal with whatever happens and if you do freak out, well, that’s your problem. I think that any woman who’d walk into this situation is a very brave one given how badly some people can behave when it comes to sex.

    I dunno, Ann… I’m still proud that you were there and you were hanging in but it bothers me that you had concerns and didn’t have anyone with you who could address them and calm you…

    • Thank you KD. Up until the spanking, I felt incredibly powerful, actually.

      Each time I said no, I was listened to (even after the spanking). I wasn’t actually afraid. I planned to write this in my debrief post, but it was interesting to me, and hilarious, to have all these men around me willing to pleasure me.

      I genuinely felt like I had all the power.

      But that changed with the spanking. I submitted to this guy. Trusted him. And then when I realized he had left, I felt abandoned and alone…and very weird. I didn’t know how to explain it.

      But yes, I agree with you that neither of them would have gotten the sense from me that I was fragile and needing to be taken care of. I now understand much better the D/s dynamic and how consent should work. And I also understand better how the good Dom’s will know what they should do to take care of a sub, no matter what that sub might say or do.

    • I hink a Dom should know that if you put a woman into subspace or at least a different headspace, she’ll need to be taken care of afterwards. To me, it feels like I need to be held so I can glue all the pieces of me back together again. And that doesn’t necessarily need for me to be spanked or whatever act of submission I should have performed. Just offering my body and my orgasms to the guy is enough to deconstruct me somewhat.
      And I need to be held, caressed, stroked, talked to, in order to feel whole, to feel myself again.

      • I agree – I just know I’d never do that; even if I wanted to be elsewhere, I’d ask her if she’ll be okay or if I need to stay a little longer. So I take a dim view of guys who don’t do this simply out of decency; you used her for your pleasure so the least you can do is not leave her hanging…

  4. I can’t say that my level of interest in your two series of posts stems from a personal intrigue or desire to learn more about this (at least not from an experiential perspective). You do describe these events is such a matter-of-fact and colorful way that serves to illustrate the activities quite well for simpletons like me.

    I wonder about the wisdom of attending this on your own versus with a trusted partner who won’t be so inclined to bail on you at such a moment of vulnerability. Knowing you as I do, this is not a new thought, but I do have to call attention to it.

    I do have other reservations about your SC/GB activities, but I will talk about them directly with you (as I already have) rather than directly on your blog. My motivation for such reservations stem purely from a genuine concern and how I care very much about you.

    • kdaddy I agree with you in theory but in my experience some of the girls who love a gangbang will go on all night and it’s probably hard for the guy to just stand by and twiddle his thumbs while his date is playing take a number. I don’t know what club Ann attends and so cannot weight in on if I think it’s a good club or not but just as a general statement, a club that has been open for awhile must be reasonably okay as swingers talk and they would quickly abandon a place that doesn’t look out for their best interests.

      Clubs that are swingers only will typically not let a woman get into trouble and the patrons understand the rules. When you have straight guys, they don’t often understand what and how they should act. Those people need to be watched and I would assume that the owners know that and likely are swingers themselves.

      I think that Ann will become more relaxed and trusting of the club environment as seems to be happening from her tales. The unicorns we run with are typically over-sexed and just enjoy getting together with people; in our group they do that without any fear of harm coming to them. I’m sure this is the same situation for Ann and wish her bon voyage on her journey to explore her sexuality.

      • The club is very well respected and they take their policies seriously. The staff carries around sharpies and they literally will mark a guys body with them if he acts out. Too many marks and he’s banned from the club.

        There was a staff member outside the dungeon when the stuff was happening to me. It wasn’t a case where I said no and the men didn’t listen. I genuinely believe I got into a submissive headspace which made things strange for me when I realized the Dom wasn’t there.

        Literally the moment I told the guys I needed a break, they were off me.

    • If I hadn’t engaged in D/s activities I would have been fine. The first experience was fun, and I felt powerful. I was annoyed with Kris left but that was it.

      The second one was completely different because I submitted to the man. So my reaction stems from that.

      My fantasy was not played out on this night. I would still like it to happen, but I know now what conditions need to be in place – because they weren’t there that night.

      • The more I read about this the less I understand, Ann. Perhaps I should go against my own grain and seek out a local club just to observe…is that even possible (either from a club policy perspective or my own capability)?

        Anyway, I have my own thoughts and feelings on this – entirely judgment-free.

        • What is it that don’t you understand?

          If you read about my last post when I went with Jason, that’s what most nights at a Swingers club is like. Or the first time I went with Ariel. That club was a bit different logistically but generally the same.

          This was a night specifically for women who want multiple men. So single men are allowed and encouraged. But that’s not normally the case.

          You don’t need to go to a club to observe unless it’s something you want to engage in with you and Savannah. Otherwise you’d just be going to watch couples, triads, and groups have sex.

          • No…it isn’t something that you can explain, Ann. It is a disconnect within me. To each his own (or something like that)?

            I am one of those strange people who lack the ability to have sex without intimate emotional connection. It is a little messed up to see myself this way, but it kept me from having casual sex when I was young and single (unmarried) and the advances towards me were constant. Of course that was before I aged and lost all of my ability to attract women. 🙂

          • You aren’t strange or messed up because you can’t do it. Stop with that BS. Seriously, Will…

            And I guarantee you that going to a club won’t help you understand it.

          • Will, my experience last time was thus: I didn’t mind anything that happened to me on my lower end as long as I knew the Dancer was there, touching, talking hearing, seeing me. I had the connection to him. Everything else was just an added bonus, but I didn’t care. I enjoyed it, but it felt as if it had been him playing with me from many places at once.
            Though I did have a small moment (10-15 minutes?) when I was left by myself with numerous hands on me, so many I didn’t know where they came from, who they belonged to (it was in the dark room), and while I enjoyed being in that environment and being allowed to experiment the way I wanted to, I soon felt lost and in need to reconnect with someone I trusted. And he was there, within earshot. So all was well. I got my cuddle and was ready for more.
            What I’m trying to say is: that time, I never felt like I was playing with men I didn’t know. I always felt I was playing with him. And some extra people 🙂

  5. YEP, that’s exactly what it was. Ok, I haven’t read any of the comments, because I so wanted to blurt that out.

    Aftercare is so important!
    I’m not having sex without it any more. For crying out loud, I realised I need it even when I’m having phone sex!
    I need to feel hugged, cared for. If I don’t get that, I feel weepy, ill at ease, empty.
    Which is why I need to talk to the Dancer again about this. I need him to constantly be within sight/hearing distance, even if we’re playing in different groups, because I need him to look out for me.
    I know he provides great aftercare. Even yesterday after our very short tryst, he was taking care of me. It feels great!

    I’m sorry the Dom just abandoned you. What sort of Dom is he if he doesn’t know about aftercare? I mean, you gave him your all, and he just wals away? And this happens twice in the same evening, albeit with different men?
    Poor Ann! *I* want to hug you! 🙂

    Ok, now off to read the comments! 🙂

  6. Ugh typed it all then lost it.. Here we go again:

    I could be completely wrong but I get the impression that:
    1. By asking for an orgasm, the dom thought you weren’t so submissive.
    2. He then became uninterested.
    3. He may have then thought you didn’t need aftercare as you weren’t fully submitting to him (in his eyes, not yours).

    That or he was just a douchebag who didn’t give a shit because you were a random to him.

    I think as awful as it is, it’s good that this happened because you now know what you don’t like and won’t put up with. You need someone to watch out for you, you need aftercare from doms, you need a goodbye before they leave. You can voice these requirements to the next lot of saucy hot men you encounter and expect a bit more of a better experience because of it 🙂

    I’m loving your escapades, I’m totally living vicariously through you (and M)! Go girls! Xo

    • While not trying to excuse the Dom, in the party scene control of a person’s climax is often used by the Dom to show that he/she will only allow you to climax when they allow it and that they completely control you. Bringing a person right to the edge of orgasm over and over raises the intensity to unbelievable peaks. I have a girl like Ann who is also a come machine but I’ll tell her that she is not allowed to come and she will not climax even though you can see it in her eyes and the shaking of her body. Finally when I feel that she’s suffered enough, I’ll allow it and she will climax instantly even if I’m not touching her. Dom/sub activities are often difficult for outsiders to understand.

        • Be my guest as I didn’t copyright it. LOL We always have to remember when we bat around the “do this” and “do that” that these are not blanket rules and you must be sensitive to your partner and his/her/their desires. I use climax denial on wifey but she has to be in the right mood for it to really work as intended. Of course with her climax denial is sometimes a good thing as she could have gotten her rocks off three times while reading this and already be exhausted and asleep!

      • The fact that you want to control a person’s orgasm is fine. But then, at some point, you let them come, that’s the point of having a ‘build-up’. Especially if you don’t have an actual D/s relationship with them. At least that’s my take on it 🙂

    • Goatie, I think you nailed it on what happened with him… because earlier, during the spanking, he was checking in as I would have expected.

      And you are also correct that now I know what I need and how this can impact me. It’s a good lesson to learn, I was weirded out but not damaged in any way, I didn’t feel like I was in danger, etc. So really, no harm done.

      I will try to have more escapades for you!

  7. Don’t know how I missed this post. Just thinking better to go with a partner. The Dom should never have left and that aftercare is so important after giving yourself over (from my very limited experience). I think the Dom didn’t get enough reaction from you.

  8. First of all really awesome that you went out and explored on your own. That’s really brave.

    Sucks that you got abandoned twice throughout the event. Seems like they should have been more up front about them leaving and seeing if you’re okay with it.

    Having done it, would you do it again?

What do you think?