As I mentioned a few days ago, a very nice man reached out to me right away – within a minute – of my unhiding my OK Cupid profile. He was a 97% match and quickly proved to be mature, polite, nicely flirty, interesting, and interested.
He is 55, a self-employed Chartered Accountant, and looks nothing like any of the men I’ve dated so far, with a full head of reddish blonde hair. Glasses. Slender.
He has been divorced for almost 10 years, and shares equal custody of his two teenaged sons.
He met all of my rules; we moved to text and then he quickly afterwards asked to meet me for a drink. I chose my favourite restaurant near my office. The last time I was there it was with Tony.
Our date was this evening.
He looked exactly like the one picture he had on his profile. He was quite obviously nervous, but warmed up over time. He was polite and intelligent and we shared lots of conversation about business. Too much conversation about business…he told too many stories. There was some sharing of how we dealt with our splits, handling equal custody, and moving from finding one’s mojo to being ready for a relationship.
No, Sharn, I didn’t bring up the gangbang.
We started with just drinks, then decided to have an appetizer, then chose dinner. All in all, over two hours of conversation. He paid in cash, which made me thing of the Unfortunate Virgin Male.
There was no particular spark, no raucous laughter, no wrist touching over the table. There was a quick kiss on the cheek goodbye.
I could easily go on a second date with him, as it would be a decent way to spend an evening. He would be a gentleman.
I found myself thinking – perhaps if he touched me or kissed me and there was a spark, that might change everything. But does it? Is there always that connection right from the start? That elusive chemistry? I certainly know it when it’s there…as it was with Tony, in spades.
But when it’s not…does it grow? I’ve never really put it to the test.