On what would have been my 12th wedding anniversary, I decided to practice letting go of desire. Not for sex, people, that would be crazy!
I have very large post it notes with “LET GO” in big red block letters posted on my bathroom mirror, and beside my bed – and I may also put one up at work. They help.
I’ve likened this process to how my yoga instructor used to assist in my meditation. I was supposed to focus on my breathing, and if I found my mind wandering to other thoughts, I needed to recognize what I was doing, tell myself to put that thought away for the moment, and get back to my focus.
So, when I feel that pulling feeling of needing to hear from Tony, get some positive reinforcement, or go on to Tinder or OK Cupid to get a little boost, I stop, recognize what’s going on, and do something else. It actually helps – especially because I do my yoga breathing at the same time 🙂
So far, so good.
I’m not working next Monday and I also have Liam, so I have three days to plan with him. There are a few options I’m going to float to Tony when he surfaces after two days of shooting, and we’ll see how that goes. BUT I’m going ahead with those plans regardless. If he joins me, great, and if not, I’m going to have an excellent time regardless – and not be disappointed. His loss.
And that’s the kind of progress I’m talking about.