Which make better lovers, older or younger men?

After some hopefully-not-statistically-significant sampling of both older and younger lovers, I developed a strong preference toward guys closer to my age. It is still true today that my best lovers were all around 40. Faraway Lover and Naked Ironing Man were over the top amazing, and they were both 45.

I wrote this post in response to the often repeated comments that I should take a younger lover. While I might educate a lover on the things I like, I’m not so keen on teaching them how to locate a g-spot.

As one of my good friends would say, “the younger ones are relatively useless in bed, butΒ so pretty”.

The myth of pleasure from a cabana boy.


0 thoughts on “Which make better lovers, older or younger men?

  1. As a guy, I agree with you Ann, most girls in their 20’s are nice to look at but they still have a lot of hangups and sex is okay but not great. Typically it seems like women when they hit about 40 realize that they really like sex and can get into it. I love a girl who talks dirty during sex and is willing to try most anything.

    Girls tell me the same thing that young guys are often useless also as they like to jump in the sack and 2 minutes later they are done. While they recharge quickly it ends up being a repeat performance. You need endurance to really satisfy a woman.

    Before I got into swinging, I had a lot of sex with women and felt that I was a half way decent lover but in the Lifestyle I realized that I was fairly good. For a guy it’s an ego boost when women seek you out and some complain that you don’t party with them enough.

  2. Apparently, during my weekend away, I missed this post.
    I haven’t sampled a lot of younger guys (I mean, now that I am sexually active again. I did, of course, sample young guys, but I was just as young then), so I cannot really compare.
    But I must say that I’m happy with guys my age or older for now. Not looking for a cute toyboy who is useless in bed. I am not too vain and don’t need anyone to add to my status, so I don’t care for looks much. As I said many times, there has to be a connection, but the looks in themselves are not high on my priority list.
    However, I need someone who won’t be scared when I tell them I need more, who will be willing to keep going or do things to satisfy me even if they are done. I need someone who won’t find it gross when I squirt and is able to take cues. I’m not overly talkative during the act, so they have to be good with non verbal communication too.
    Basically, I wasted enough time as is, I don’t have time to train someone! πŸ˜‰

      • Oh, I don’t mind being talked to in a dirty way.
        I guess it’s just who I am: you can actually tell I’m getting horny just listening to my silence. I do use the words that need to be used when I need for something to happen (finger me. Harder!), but I try to let my partner surprise me with whatever happens. And/or I do what I like, what he likes…
        But I rarely talk. Sorry, that’s just who I am πŸ™‚

        • Okay I’ll raise my bet. πŸ™‚ How about if I throw in my cop friend Larry (same name lots of confusion!). If we tag-team you, we can probably get a rise out of you. Or if you’re really stubborn, I could sacrifice my wife or our friend Don who is a tall blond surfer type! πŸ™‚

  3. My husband was 32 when we first got together, the sex was great, usually quite frantic (we only met up at weekends), very satisfying (he had real staying power AND could cum not only loads but more than once in 24 hours!). However, 32 years on there is a breadth of experience coupled with real understanding of my wants & needs as well as a total lack of inhibitions or fear that makes our lovemaking way more satisfying now. He may take a bit longer to recharge his batteries & his semen is a bit more watery now, but that doesn’t matter, his willingness to accommodate my desires makes up for any slight shortcomings in his virility these days.

    • That’s so great to hear that you are experiencing an even better sex life after so many years!! I agree that once you know someone’s body and are comfortable with each other, things can really be magical.

      Thanks for your comment πŸ™‚

  4. If all you need is a good hard cock then the younger boys are a reliable bet. Sometimes a simple in/out pounding for hours is just the ticket. However, I must say, there’s something incredible about an older man. My current lover (and love) is 53 and he is by far the most attentive, detail-oriented, astute, pleasure-centered lover I have ever experienced. He’s learned my body in a way nobody else has. It could be that we’re deeply connected in spirit and mind, but in general, older is like a very fine Scotch. Something to sip. Savor. And he’ll do the same.

    I should mention that with older men I was concerned about them not being able to come and unreliable erections – it’s a thing – but just the other day Sal came three times in a six hour span and that was GOOD GOOD GOOD. Anyway, everyone old and young, seems to be into viagra so I was wrong about the erections too.


    • I’ve been lucky that I’ve avoided many ED problems (current lover aside). And yes, I think you have articulated it very well. It’s not that young guys can’t bang away, but I’ve found very few that take their time, understand different ways that women can orgasm (or that some *have* to have it a certain way), that it’s way better to get us off first, etc., etc. Yes I know there are exceptions, but I’m pretty sure I have a statistically significant sample size!!

What do you think?