The farmer I wanted to f*ck, and other stories. 

It was a jam packed weekend, and I’m glad for it. Tony’s silence and arrival tomorrow is starting to weigh heavy. Friday night I spent with a close friend and her next-door neighbour, and it was an alcohol-fueled hilarious and very detailed conversation about men and sex. It’s great to have good friends with whom I can speak openly, and I’m grateful for them.

Saturday after a sports practice for Liam, he and I drove to my father’s town which is about 90 minutes from my house. My half-brother, who is 16 years my junior, was having a birthday party. I hung out with him and his fiance, some other family members, and his friends.

When I came inside to get dinner, there was a very tall, blonde, and handsome man sitting on a bar stool already eating. I had never seen him before, and didn’t catch his name right away when I introduced myself. Turns out he’s a friend of my brothers from a theatre production they did together. He is Dutch. And a farmer. Literally, yes, a real farmer. A young, handsome, tall, Dutch, farmer. 

In addition to thinking he was cute, I also love meeting new people, especially those in fields I know nothing about. But alas, he had to go before I got to really dive into the topic of the usage of human antibiotics on animals.

I took a break in the festivities to go with my Dad to the local theatre to watch one of my uncles perform amazingly well in a two-hander play. The Farmer was in the back, doing the sound.  After the show I asked him if it would be an imposition if my son and I came by to visit his farm the next day. He said normally it wouldn’t, but he couldn’t that next morning. He asked how often I came to town and we agreed that next time, we’d make it work.

Liam was being put to bed by my step-mother that evening, so I went back to my brother’s place where the party continued. It was nice to get caught up with him and one of my first cousins. Later on, the Farmer showed up.

It was one of those parties where the conversation was varied and the laughs raucous, at 2am I realized how late it was and Liam would be waking me up shortly. But then, me and my cousin and the Farmer went outside to talk about cars and the stars. It was all I could do not to ask my cousin to give us space so I could lean up, looking into those beautiful blue eyes, and kiss the Farmer.

I didn’t. Instead, I went home and put myself to bed without even taking my makeup off.

Sunday was brunch, drive home, birthday party drop off, knocking four things off my to-do list, party pick up, and a drive to Will’s house, where I dropped off Liam for the week.

So I’m alone in my house for the week. I’m sad; I will miss Liam terribly. Thankfully work is picking up a little bit. And I’ve filled my social calendar. I have no idea when Tony is getting back on Monday, or even if he will reach out when he arrives. Tomorrow I have an early dinner with a girlfriend. On the off chance he wants to see me, I’ll be availble later in the evening. But not immediately available. I kind of like that, all things considered.

Tuesday I’m going to a book launch party with another girlfriend. Wednesday after work I’m seeing a former colleague after work (actually one I’ve written about, but now it’s just platonic) for drinks and maybe dinner, and Friday I’m going overnight on a theatre trip with my Mom and two girlfriends.

Truth be told, my plan making was as much about wanting to take advantage of having seven nights free, as it was mitigation of the lonliness I will feel if my relationship with Tony ends this week. And I should be asleep, but instead I’ve watched probably seven “Mad Men” episodes back to back. Sigh. I suppose there are far worse things.

0 thoughts on “The farmer I wanted to f*ck, and other stories. 

  1. Ugh. Waiting game.

    Don’t you have a thing to worry about sweetie. But it’s good that you’re keeping busy. It means that he will relate your world does not revolve around him and will keep turning even if he’s not in it.

    The farmer sounds nice! Good job on getting to bed and not giving into temptation. I’ve been wanting to write a post about that. But it can wait till I’ve at least at up my computer.

    Huge hugs. Xx

    • Thanks Hon. I guess despite all the stuff I’ve done, my integrity is important to me. I would hate to think he would sleep with someone while he’s away, so I don’t want to do that to him. It’s not fair…especially because I don’t think he’s intentionally doing me harm or playing a game. I think he’s just being neglectful…

      The farmer was a lovely guy. WAY too young for me but was interesting to chat with.

      And Iook forward to that post!

      • Honey, I think it’s because all you’ve done that your integrity is cemented. Which is neither here nor there. You did what was right for you which would mean you could look at yourself in the mirror the next day and not feel disappointed in your actions.

        I don’t think he is doing it intentionally either for what it’s worth. But it just doesn’t make it easier to take, which is the bummer.

  2. Living in Holland I know there are PA-lenty of handsome (TALL) Dutch men! Let me know if you ever come over, and I’ll show you around. 🙂

  3. Ah hun, you’ll be fine. I know it feels lonely after you thought you had someone there for you. But, it is for the best. You are great and I am sure you will find someone soon.
    I am also sure that Tony will contact you. Don’t you think you need to finish the thing with him officially?

    • Oh I’m certain I will hear from him, because I’m pretty convinced he thinks there’s nothing wrong with the fact he hasn’t been in touch with me.

      And thank you. I really do appreciate the support.

    • You know, I’m totally drawing a blank on what I’m going to see on Friday. We always go see a musical, even though it’s not my favourite genre… this is my Mom, one of her closest friends, and her daughter. We’ve been doing this trip annually since my friend and I were maybe 8 years old. It’s a great tradition and the play is often irrelevant 🙂

  4. I was always pessimistic about Tony as were most people commenting here. I can imagine he must be torn, but leaving you hanging without an update for such a long time was unacceptable.

    Be careful with those Dutch farmers. I grew up in a town full of them. Their cows always come first. Your boy will have a great time there if you can manage it.

  5. You’ll snap out of this funk, Ann.
    Eventually.
    Then that particular “F” word will no longer have a place in this blog – and your life – and you can get back to being the Ann we all know and love. You know the one: the intelligent, feisty, ridiculously talented, super sexy chick who is dynamite in the bedroom – or any room, for that matter.
    Talk to you soon, babe.

What do you think?