I am working at finding pleasure in small things each day. With no man to keep me occupied, I have space to notice lots of other good things in my life.
My son and I had dinner with one of his school friends and his Mom, and she and I had a great, meaningful conversation. I realized that my dating and being confident and having an amicable relationship with Will are things to be very proud of.
I offered to help her start dating online. She’s 50 and beautiful and smart, with a dancers body. She did not believe me that young men will hit on her. I look forward to proving her wrong.
The warm sun on my face makes me happy.
Cleaning out – finally – my home office, which had become the dumping ground of all sorts of shit. It took hours but there is a real tangible difference. I got rid of a bunch of stuff.
I made some picture hangers to show off my sons art and be able to rotate as he does new stuff. He was delighted to see me showing some of his pieces.
As part of the clean out I found a photo book I made in 2011 for my son, of all the things we’d done throughout the year. I was stunned how many of those things didn’t include Will – his choice. Events, trips, you name it. It made me sad but just reinforced the decision I made.
I’m taking my son and nanny to a sporting event on Thursday. He will be up too late but it will be awesome. And my nanny is thrilled.
I calculated my net worth. I’m very very close to a significant milestone which I would have never imagined possible when I was growing up. I could liquidate everything and move to some tiny island in Greece for the rest of my life. Not gonna happen – I need more security from the tumult of the financial markets. But still. It made me realize I will be fine – in a way I didn’t think of before. Alone. As a woman.
Everyone who I’ve expressed concern about my job to has – unprompted – said I was highly highly employable. I’m starting to feel like I have options. Which is great.
I’ve been to the gym three or four times since I started last week and today sweated like a demon on the treadmill. It felt great.
I want wine badly. But have stuck to my plan. Nothing until Friday.
In a few weeks I’m going to a “big gay dance party”. I can’t wait.
Still no word from Tony. I’m now just curious when he will break the silence. Right before he comes back? After he arrives? Hmmfp.
Just a few things that are helping remind me things are okay and I will be fine. More than fine, I guess. And they are helping me offset the one bad thing.