How one little word can make me feel so sh*tty.

I asked a blogger I met to describe me. I didn’t need it to be posted on his blog, but I am always curious how I am seen by others. I was looking for some honest insight and first impressions. While others have written about me (links are on my “awards and nice things” page under “it’s not all sex here”), I figure often that people are just being nice. And yes, I know this isn’t always true. I don’t generally suffer from a lack of confidence and I’m keenly aware of most of my faults.

He writes about women, and his descriptions are sexy and wonderful. They really come alive on the page. His women are stunning and sexy and hot and luscious. From my readers perspective, he seems to love a wide variety of women and to truly appreciate female beauty.

So I was looking forward to something lovely and maybe sexy. But I’m not sure why I assumed it would be lovely and sexy.

He sent me what he wrote.

The fascinating thing to me is that he used the words smart and funny. Pretty eyes. Said we had a good conversation. But, that dreaded word, used in combination with the fact that I am very tall (over 6′ in the high heels I was wearing):


I died inside.

Big? I remember using that word with Andrew and he gave me shit. Told me in no uncertain terms that I was not a big girl (and he was shorter and weighed less). It’s an internal perception I’ve struggled with my whole life. I’m tall, taller than 99% of the women I come across, and many men. I am not big boned. I’m just tall and at times, a little heavy on the bottom. Although presently I’m relatively comfortable with my weight, despite not fitting into a couple skirts I’d like to wear.

There was another descriptor that also had me horrified, because it was so different from what I expected.

In combination, these called into question how I see myself and I wondered if I was delusional. Then I got frustrated with myself – my confidence surely cannot be that tenuous. Can it?

I tried to be mature and accept the writing with grace, but it was very difficult. I’m not sure I succeeded.

To be clear, this is not a criticism of that blogger or his words. He wrote his honest opinion, and I solicited it. He did not find me sexy nor particularly attractive. Not everyone does and I am well aware of this. Of course he didn’t have to like me, or be attracted to me, or try to hit on me, or any of those things. I completely understand this. I am not a legend in my own mind.

I didn’t leave my interaction with him disappointed in any way. I wasn’t expecting more than a friendly talk, I didn’t want any more than that with him. I enjoyed the time we had together and genuinely looked forward to maybe crossing paths again.

It’s the risk I took when I agreed to meet people off-blog. It was one of the things I was nervous about. I’m not sure if I was sexy and hot in his mind before he met me. But now he knows what I look like and sound like in real life, and I read his words about me and conclude he didn’t like what he saw. My writing will probably never be the same to him. It shouldn’t matter – I hope it’s not the primary reason why people read what I write – but I can’t help think it does.

But I did think I looked pretty fine when I met him. I felt sexy and confident.

Obviously, I have some trigger words that take me right into every physical insecurity I’ve ever had. “Big” is one of them. And even with more nice words – smart, funny, pretty – I read the others and it felt to me akin to telling an obese person they have a pretty smile. Something you say when you can’t say what someone might want to hear. If my confidence that night was a balloon, it’s been deflated. With a couple of choice words.

0 thoughts on “How one little word can make me feel so sh*tty.

  1. And I’m sure when he reads this, he will have kicked himself since you took offense. Perhaps he viewed you as you had hoped but didn’t write it – especially since it was solicited to go straight to you.

    And sometimes we are not attracted to those most others would be. My husband, for example, doesn’t like the women all the other men in his station like (and he isn’t shy about pointing out females he views attractive). His criteria of what’s attractive is a bit different – it doesn’t make him wrong, nor the other men, doesn’t detract from the woman’s own beauty, it’s just not his thing. You seem to have a grasp of this, and yet you can’t help but let it bring you down.

    I believe I may be the same, and while I’ve never garnered an opinion from another blogger, once I obtained the writing, I would deeply personalize it as you have. So I realize that I may be the same, but I do hope you realize the great compliments that were there and embrace them.

    • Thank you for your words. I am working on embracing the compliments but I suppose I’m completely confident in my “smart and funny” capabilities πŸ™‚

      I have struggled with why he chose to write what he did the way he did. I am trying these days to not ascribe motivation to anyone – because we never know, really. He’s a very smart man and I have a hard time believing (but am working on it!!) he didn’t know how his words could sound. Also I was careful to describe him in an honest way but also to look for the things that others would see in him.

      • keep in mind the context. He reads your blog. He knows about you and Tony being exclusive. He would be a bit of a jerk to blather on about how sexy and alluring you are knowing this, and/or making an attempt to seduce you.

  2. Oh Ann, I’m sorry you feel that way!
    The fact this particular blogger didn’t write you were sexy and so on and so on doesn’t mean that you are not. It just means your size is not what matches his idea of what he looks like in a sexual partner.
    I once had a man explain to me that he usually preferred his women petite. He didn’t mind so much the weight associated with the frame, they didn’t need to be a size 2 or 8, it’s just that he preferred a shorter frame.
    One of the reasons he mentioned was that he likes to know that he can easily throw a woman around, pick her up and flip her around for example. And he knew that wouldn’t be possible with his height compared to mine, even though I’m not quite as tall as you I think (at least, I would need pretty high heels and I gave up on the 4″ ones lately). Yes, my weight doesn’t help with throwing me around either, obviously, but just the height would be a problem for a lot of men.

    I am wondering if it doesn’t have to do partly with the fact that it makes them feel threatened to a certain extent, to be confronted with a girl as tall as us. Could it be they feel less manly?
    I know my ex had a lot of trouble with me wearing heels because he didn’t like the idea of me being taller than him. He’s not short, but with 2″ heels, I would have been taller than him.

    Oh well… I am trying to focus on the fact that some men seem to find me just right and that should be enough.
    Though I do understand exactly how you feel. I feel like that more than often still… especially when my ex somehow managed to creep back into my mind.

    Big hugs.

    • Thanks hon. In the last 2 years I have FINALLY come to terms with the fact that I am tall and that doesn’t equate to “big”. I love my height and wouldn’t trade it at this point – it sucked at age 14 but now it’s awesome. Studies show that taller people are more often seen as leaders and are on average promoted more often and interpreted to be more intelligent. Which is BS of course, but I’ll take any advantage I can get… I think it just offsets the blonde πŸ™‚

      Although height narrows the dating pool.

      Faraway Lover was 5’8″ (I’m 5’10”) and he was muscular which helped me not feel big. I can handle a tall skinny guy or a shorter muscular guy but short and slender is hard for me to take, because I don’t like being physically larger than a lover.

      I see the sexiness and beauty in people who aren’t even my type – but I can see what others see. Even if for me, it doesn’t translate. But that’s just me.

      • If it makes both of you feel better, I always wanted to be taller! πŸ™‚
        I can relate to wanting someone taller and/or bigger than you (I am 5’5 and when I am wearing heels, there are still guys who are shorter than me and that’s enough to trigger) , I have read somewhere that women subconsciously associate this with the sense of feeling protected or something. I would suppose that with the men would be the feeling of being able/capable of protecting us. I have no clue what I am talking about, I just thought the topic was interesting.

        In regards to ‘sexy’, I think ‘sexy’ comes in many shapes, sizes and heights.

        • I love to feel “smaller”… and that can come from height or build or a combination. I always thought it was because I was tall that I liked it so much, but I guess it could be true for any woman.

          And yes, completely agree it’s a deep seated thing – because I am pretty independent and dislike having to rely on a man for a whole lot in life. Sex and affection for sure, but not money or support or other things like that.

          And I couldn’t agree more. I’ve met lots of people who are truly overweight and I still find them sexy – the Comedian is a good example. He’s not slim by any stretch, and he still has that certain something πŸ™‚

      • If it makes yo ufeel any better, I do think I am big. Most days I do. I loved my height more as a young girl because going out with very long legs on what was then a leaner body meant I looked older and I did quite appreciate the attention. But I am shorter than you, so was probably not standing out quite as much. I don’t have a problem per se with a guy being shorter. But I must say it only happened once to me. Most men were about the same height as me.
        Oh well… I should probably stop my ramblings, I don’t even know what I wanted to write any more. Not my greatest of days today. I apologize.
        You are a beautiful woman.

        • Well, someone else thinking they are big doesn’t make me feel better. I want everyone to feel powerful and confident and sexy, no matter their height or weight.

          When I was 14 and 5’10” and 140 lbs… boy, I was pretty damn lean. And yes, I looked older too and the attention was great.

          I like your ramblings πŸ˜€

          And thank you. Hugs right back.

          • Most days, I feel powerful and confident. It’s just when I let my ex creep back into my life and my mind that I start to feel big again.
            I know exactly what you mean. I was 5″8″ and 130lbs most of my teenage years. Those days are long gone, but I think I now feel sexier than I have in 20 years. I guess this should be put in relation to the length of my marriage πŸ˜‰
            Yesterday night was pretty bad, but today, I think I feel quite confident and sexy. I hope it’s the same for you πŸ™‚

  3. Full disclosure to all: It wasn’t ME!

    I found you utterly lovely and captivating and hope we can have lunch again one day. But this is the hazard of going public. Caveat emptor. You might not like what you hear.

    • This made me laugh…I like you felt compelled to say it wasn’t you πŸ™‚

      And thank you. I’m glad you did find me such. The feeling was mutual.

      Totally agree about the hazard. I was broken up with publicly and horribly on someone else’s blog…so I am well acquainted with the pain of taking things “off blog”.

    • I knew it was you while I was reading your words but you did pop up in my mind… however, you’re far too smart to utilize the word “bigger” to describe ANY woman. hahaha!

  4. Poor word choice on his part! When I read that you’re over 6′ tall in heels, I thought ‘wow, she’s taller than I imagined’, not ‘wow, she bigger than I imagined’

  5. I am not tall I would need heels to reach that 6′ But dang woman. Love a pair of long slender good looking high heeled legs.
    Now I know I am a freak of some kind lol but love women period.

    I know how a single word can trigger something. Some do not like to be called cute when they want to be sexy. hell I had my fair slap because of that.

    Keep on smiling beautiful, you are you.

    • I totally get the cute vs. sexy thing… I have friends who hate being called “cute” because they want to be “gorgeous” or “sexy”. I like compliments so try not to be gracious when I get them, even if it’s not my first choice of words.

      I’m not “big”. Big = BBW (Big Bold Women) which is for women far larger than me, or so I’m told.

      I’m a size 10/12 on top and 12/14 on the bottom. As an adult at times I’ve been one size bigger. My personal trainer (a young woman) once told me I had the ideal waist to hip ratio which is the magic thing many men subconsciously look for because it represents fertility. So perhaps that’s the secret lol…

  6. I hate that dreaded word too and I’m so sorry you even had to hear it. It’s an awful word. It’s the type of word that does make you doubt yourself unfortunately.

    But, coming from someone bigger than you πŸ˜‰, but not taller… have nothing to worry about sexy.

    Blogging is tough. We open ourselves when we cross those lines I know it gives me great pause.

  7. “But now he knows what I look like and sound like in real life, and I read his words about me and conclude he didn’t like what he saw.”

    This line summed up the whole post for me, and I feel sad that his honest, written thoughts have upset you to this degree. Put this into perspective, though: this blogger is just one blogger out of a large number of others who are reading you daily, interacting with you here in the comments and truly enjoying the experience of getting to know/knowing you. This guy has the pleasure and distinction of meeting you offline, and you are apparently not his cup of tea or what he imagined you would be like in real life. He was honest and used a word that is inadvertently a trigger for you.

    Ann, he is one of many people, many men you will meet this year alone, and his word choice should not have this amount of power over you. His opinions should not matter at all nor should they shake your confidence in who you are and your ability to attract quality people. I know that. I know you know that. Yet it does impact and affect you, and for that I am truly sorry, quite possibly he is really sorry that you received his message this way. Keep in mind that whatever it is that floats his boat about women, what he wrote to you is unlikely malicious in its intent, probably flattering if the one little word had been excluded. Try not to obsess about it and let it ruin the rest of your day.

    • So wise, Janelle, thank you. Your words mean a lot to me and you are right, I do know that one person and one post shouldn’t matter. It’s also why I wrote this – because it did matter to me, and I wanted to explore why.

      He did say he was sorry he hurt my feelings.

      • Of course he did and I am sure he means it. Consider that you provided a valuable lesson to another blogger: next time he meets a tall woman he will use another word to describe her.

  8. My daughter is also very tall. I haven’t measured her in a while, but she must be very near 6′. My son is over 6′. He longed to be tall. We spent a lot of time making sure my girl was comfortable with her height. Encouraged her to stand up straight, reminded her of how lucky she is to be so tall. She still has bouts of …being embarrassed of her height on occasion, but for the most part she has learned to love her length. She recently went to the auto show and suddenly realized that in large groups, she isn’t always the tallest one. She also found that slightly annoying. She is used to being able to see over heads in crowds.

    It is a shame that words can deflate us. I am sure it wasn’t his intent. I was told once I was intimidating. He wouldn’t tell me what was intimidating about me. My view of me is polar opposite of intimidating. But it did make me wonder if others held a similar view of me.

    Just don’t let it get you Ann. I know it is easy said. I really think that when you feel sexy and beautiful you are, a lot of it comes from within.

    • Thank you Julie! I didn’t like my height when I was younger because it’s hard when all the boys are taller than you. But now I love my height, except for how it narrows the dating pool. But there are lots of benefits.

      Tall for me, in the past, has unfortunately colored my opinion of whether I was also a “big girl”. So many people told me to stop using that term. In the last couple of years I’ve finally embraced it and accepted that I’m not big.

      But yes, I’m bigger than some. For sure, and height is a part of that. This blogger said “bigger” but it got me down that rabbit hole nonetheless.

      I’m also told I’m intimidating. I asked a close blogger friend to try to help me understand why I might be seen that way. I’m awaiting his post!!

      • Oh! could this blogger friend also tell me why I am too? (ha! Like the wizard of OZ?) I think it has something to do with being smart. I don’t necessarily mean intelligent, (although I believe us both to be) but also being able to think. That scares some folks I guess.

        • My guess – and we’ll see what he says – is that with me it’s yes, partly because I am tall. I’m intelligent (although I try not to be obnoxiously so), I’m confident and outgoing. Especially at work, I know how to get stuff done and I ask questions, make plans, move forward. As much as I try to make people feel comfortable, I still end up intimidating some.

  9. It’s funny (not really) how just one word can do so much damage. I have a bad way of not taking compliments the way they were intended especially if I think it could have been said another way… sadly, I will find myself looking for the bit that puts me down and not the rest of it that should have lifted me up. I do think it was a poor choice of a word, when I’m sure many other words would have done just nicely. I’ve not had the pleasure of meeting you, but I do like the perception I have and in reading this post and the comments that follow, am certainly not discouraged to hope for that chance should it ever arise.

    • That is very kind of you to say, Beatnik. I know I can often focus on the bad instead of the good in words. I’m my own worst critic most often and believe that I should always better myself, so I focus on the criticism as a way to learn and get better. But it can also be damaging – never thinking I’m good enough.

      I’m flattered you have a good perception and yes, if ever we were to meet I hope to not let you down πŸ™‚

    • The time with this blogger was great – we had a fun conversation and I thoroughly enjoyed it. So at the time, there was nothing to make up for.

      But I could use a lot of cuddling right now, and reassurance. And at the same time I don’t like feeling weak and needy.

  10. Wait, you described this blogger as the following:
    “He writes about women, and his descriptions are sexy and wonderful. They really come alive on the page. His women are stunning and sexy and hot and luscious. From my readers perspective, he seems to love a wide variety of women and to truly appreciate female beauty.”

    And he said bigger?

    I with Hubman38… poor wording indeed!

    I think he should have used the word :
    Better, adj. excelling, more excellent
    Any of these synonyms for better would have been acceptable as well:
    choice, exceeding, exceptional, finer, fitter, greater
    higher quality, more desirable, prominent
    sophisticated, superior

    • Oh Coop, thanks for that laugh. Yes, I agree it was a poor word choice (and I think it does too now as well, after all the grief it caused me, and I caused him in turn). I would never want someone to be false in their description of me…but I do think there were some better alternatives πŸ™‚

      • Glad I was able draw a laugh. Maybe he was intimidated by your stature.

        I’m Curious, was he smaller ,eh, I mean shorter than you expected?

        • Never mind. I am going to apologize for asking that question. I ‘m going stand by my original statement. Poor wording. We all have “bad days ” Lord knows I have a more than a few comments i’d like to retract in the last 46 years.

  11. So it wasn’t the best word choice and you can’t help how people perceive your physicality. I’m reasonably certain the blogger meant “Bigger” as in “Holy Crap, she’s bigger than I am!” meaning taller The problem is you interpreting “Bigger” meaning a size that can only buy clothing at Betty’s Tent and Awning.

    I am reminded of the email from a year ago that was headlined “What does a 350 Lb woman look like?” You had to scroll down to see the photo and it was of a Dutch Female Shot Put Champion who looked like she stepped out of Playboy circa 1968, with fabulous womanly curves that one could imagine touring for weeks on end: Drop-dead freakin’ gorgeous by any standard.

    She also stands 7 feet tall and yes, does weigh 350 lbs, but could also bench press the #504 King Street car. Even her eyelids look like they could run a triathlon on their own, she is so fit,

    Bigger doesn’t always mean what you interpret it to mean.

      • Can I join? Double hugssss!

        Look how many comments you have, all I can add to that is I’ve seen your cute hiney and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it!

        Oh and one advantage of being taller is you’re further away from armpits! Boom.

        NU and I were just talking about attractiveness today funnily enough so after reading this there will definitely be a post to turn your Lamebo into a Rainbow. Stay tuned! Xx

        • Yes all of the comments have really helped me, and have the off blog comments that said things like “you are f-Ing gorgeous” lol..

          Look forward to seeing your post!

  12. Ann,

    First of all, from what I have seen of you, you are clearly not a “big girl.” Tall? Perhaps (you’re still shorter than me…so…not “that” tall). And of course, you’re very, very beautiful (I think that I have rather high much as a married man who has never been with another woman CAN possibly have).

    I can’t explain why someone would take travel down this path in writing about you. Perhaps you reminded him of someone who jilted him, perhaps he takes issue with your blog, maybe he came away with unfulfilled hopes of a sexual encounter or there might have been some nefarious blog politics afoot behind the scenes that influenced his entirely unwarranted commentary. Regardless of any motivation, does his seemingly negative “review” of you change who you are? Does this guy’s thoughts about you carry any real weight?

    You need to dispense with the negativity that he appears to be directing your way. You have plenty of people who support and care about you (some of us do love you!)!

    Shake him off and move along!

    • Thank you, Will. I am not spending a lot of time trying to figure out the motivations…it’s a dangerous thing and as you point out, it could be anything. Or nothing. Just a poor word choice.

      But I take your point – one persons words do not change who I am. It did however change how I saw myself – and that’s why I wrote this post. Because I didn’t think my self-confidence was that tenuous and this really bothered me.

      And thank you for your ongoing support, especially when you need it yourself. xo

      • You will always have my support, my friend. Thank you for yours.

        An injury does not mean that your self confidence is tenuous. It was a hurt and you were caught off guard by it. You are human.

  13. I agree, not the wisest of word choice, however… being really ‘small’ (And yes, I hate this word too!) myself, I’ve always been slightly jealous of tall women with long legs…soooo, embrace it, my dear! πŸ™‚

    • True, “small” would suck as well. I love being tall… didn’t when I was younger and all boys were shorter than me, but now I love it. I wear heels with pride and stand up straight. I’ve finally gotten over (at least, I thought I had) equating tall with being “big”.

  14. Bigger doesn’t necessarily mean big though, right? Bigger implies taller. At 6′ it’s a pretty accurate term. Big implies big. And there’s a huge difference in my mind. Did he say bigger or big? I’m 5’4″ – and you’re definitely bigger than I am, but I won’t go into the playful Sesame Street thing of what’s bigger than, and etc.

    • I know what you are doing with your sesame street logic, Miss πŸ™‚

      Well, in his post he talked about taller. THEN he mentioned bigger. So, the conclusion my oversensitive mind drew was bigger = a weight comment. And he’s not exactly small so then my mind said bigger = big.

      I’m 5’10”, I just like to wear heels at work and happened to come straight from a meeting so was still in 2.5″ heels. Hence the 6′ part. I will often wear flatter shoes if I know I’m meeting someone who is shorter than I am.

      Your comment made me remember my favorite sesame street skit with Grover, I think? It was NEAR and FAR. I still remember that one. Thanks for the smile πŸ™‚

      • The near and far skit of Grover is even more funny when done by my Mexican friend Rocio. πŸ™‚

        Could the term bigger have been used in order to avoid saying taller twice?

        • I honestly don’t know. I do know that I have read way too much into it, far more thought went into my reaction than probably went into writing it. And my reaction to it was so extreme it’s why I wanted to write to explore it more. I was so hurt, and simultaneously so surprised that I was so hurt.

  15. I consider myself to be a strong and confident woman – for the most part. But I have to admit that I’m more self-conscious and sensitive about what may be innocent comments about my body now that I’m going to be dating and, eventually I hope, getting naked with new men. It doesn’t help that most attractive men on the dating sites I’m on want their women to have a β€œslim” and β€œathletic” build – and I’m probably never going to be that again. I also wouldn’t consider myself a BBW, but after more than half a century and four children, there are bits that are jiggly, saggy, and wrinkled. I try not to dwell on it or worry about what might be – I guess I’ll do what I can do (with diet and exercise, since plastic surgery is financially not an option) and then just let whatever happens, happen.

    • If I may, having been there and done that more or less… men too have jiggly bits, and wrinkles, unless you want to date only 20 year olds…
      My experience with the dating and getting naked with men (though I didn’t go about dating in the more conventional sense of the word) is this: once you decide to get naked with a man, usually, no one could care less about jiggly bits and such. If you decided to get naked with them, it means that you felt comfortable enough to forget about your body, or at least how it looks. And most men will love the mere fact that you’re willing to get naked with them πŸ™‚
      Believe me, I have the jiggle bits, stretch marks, wrinkles and fatty tissue. And somehow the men I got naked with came back, for most of them. And seemed to find my body not as disgusting as I often do.
      All this to say: Don’t worry. The sexiest thing that you can do is feel confident with yourself. Forget about what you heard, read, think you are supposed to look like. Learn to like your body, love it even if you can. If it means exercising more, then that can only be beneficial for your general well being, so I would encourage you to do it if you can. As for losing weight, I’d suggest doing it only if you do it for yourself. Don’t do it to fit into an idea of what a woman dating should look like. For many reasons. One is that you won’t be able to sustain dieting if you do it for others. The other is that if you don’t do it for yourself, no matter how much weight you lose, you will still dread that it isn’t enough for men, that they will judge you, and that behavior isn’t sexy at all.
      I decided that I didn’t have the energy yet to lose weight. Plus I have heard for so many years that I am undesirable… Well, I need to prove to myself that it was *his* point of view, not an actual truth. And for that, I need to prove to myself that I am desirable just as I am. And funnily enough, there seems to be plenty of men around willing to help me prove my point πŸ˜‰
      Sorry Ann for monopolising your wall. But as you can tell, this is something that is pretty close to my heart πŸ˜‰
      If I dared, I’d post a link to one of my posts. But you may have your own similar post πŸ˜‰

    • Jana, I totally understand where you are coming from. I hated not being able to say “slim” or “athletic” in my dating profiles. I always stuck with Average but then put a full body picture in their. While sure, I’d love a man who was athletic, but would never search for just that…so I figured anyone who passed me over as “average” wasn’t someone I wanted to be with anyway.

      I have honestly found most men I’ve dated to be quite appreciative of the female form. Even with lumpy bits. I agree that confidence is really the biggest thing and that it goes a long way to how you are perceived. And men think it’s sexy!!

      • Both you and Dawn make great points. I know logically that my issues with myself are just MY issues and — like you said, Ann — if men are passing me over based only on my appearance, then I don’t want to be with them. I’m going through some emotional shit just now and I think that is coloring how I’m feeling and perceiving things. It will pass, eventually. Thanks for the pep talk!

        • Happy to help. I know I was feeling unnerved about how things are with Tony right now, and there is some other crap going on with home life, etc., so I know I reacted more strongly than I may have normally (I like to think!!)

  16. Ahhh but darling…the grass is always greener…as my 5’1 and 3/4s would say “I’ve always wanted long, luxurious legs…instead I have stumps.

    Poor word choice indeed. …what a blunt man!

  17. I get the same feeling when I tell people I run and they make jokes about my “short legs”. Now, I am short (5’3″) and my legs are not “long” but still. I hate it. Every time.

    Girl, you SO need to come to Holland. Here, 5’10” on women is average. I see women well over six feet constantly!! My husband is on tinder too, and he says that the first question many woman ask is “how tall are you?”

    As for “big”…I get your upset. It really is a most unpleasant word. Just speaking truth from my woman heart. I have a “big” ass. Men comment on it pretty much without fail. Oh well…they love to squeeze it.

    You are beautiful. I don’t know what you look like, but I just know it.

    • I should write about the crush I had on a man from Holland, who I met in France when I was 15 and he was 23. We were penpals forever and then ended up meeting twice more. The last time, when I was probably 23, we had sex for the first time. I still have all his letters.

      All that to say he was tall and handsome and that didn’t seem uncommon for Holland!! Hmm… perhaps I should visit. He lives in Spain now, though.

      I have a generous ass as well but no longer feel big overall…and like you, men dont’ seem to mind it at all!

  18. It is all about expectations here. You thought he would but he had his own thoughts. Attractiveness is something that comes from within. We each have our own likes and what nots. I happen to think curves on a woman are sexy.

    When it comes to men, I tend to look at his intelligence, his compassion and how he makes me feel as measures of attraction or not.

    • I don’t generally. I don’t need the input on a regular basis, as I’m relatively confident. But this affected me WAY more than I though it would, hence why I wrote about it.

  19. I’m six-foot-five, Ann.
    Take it from me, there’s nothing wrong with being “non-tiny”.
    You’re GORGEOUS, sexy, smart as a whip,sexy, successful, sexy, a superb mom, sexy, a wonderful ex, sexy, a talented writer/blogger, sexy and oh yeah, before I forget… you’re sexy!

    That is all.
    Carry on.

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