are you beautiful? I asked 100 men what 'physical beauty' is and the results shocked me

I rarely reblog but this is something I wish my female friends and fellow bloggers could really believe, and I couldn’t have said it better myself!

0 thoughts on “are you beautiful? I asked 100 men what 'physical beauty' is and the results shocked me

  1. I loved this. Thanks for reblogging this, Ann.

    All women need to read this. I have noted that men have similar issues and the importance of aligning appearance to meet a specific social-societal norm is worming it’s way into our psyche. Men are feeling what it is like to be judged (and rejected) as objects.

    I am curious as to how this survey would work for the other gender? Would there be such concensus among women about male appearance?

    • I was thinking that, unfortunately, this doesn’t only happen to women. I am not sure what it would be like for other women, but to answer your question, like I told the Dancer a few times already: appearance isn’t the most important thing for me. I’m not saying that I don’t enjoy eye candy, but what I find truly beautiful is the soul that shines through. So I would totally answer along the same lines as men in that survey.

  2. Great words but not true. I have lived and experienced a mans distaste for an overweight woman. These articles are published by average size women trying to get to modelesque figures. Not women who have serious weight issues or body image concerns. The write is probably 15 pounds overweight. I have seen women rejected because of their weight and shape. I have had it happen to me. Sorry it’s a nice message but as usual I don’t think the write really knows the extent of being overweight and men not finding it appealing.

    • Sadly, this has happened to me too.
      That’s what I wanted to say. What the author says isn’t always true.
      I was married to a man who kept telling me that he wouldn’t find me attractive anymore if I gained weight, that he didn’t find me attractive because I was too fat, that my only redeeming feature was my boobs (and that was after asking if I would want a boob job!).
      I know all too well how degrading it feels to hear those words day in day out for years. I know the blow to your self-esteem.
      Where I disagree with you is that what my ex said was inherited from his mother. He heard that women are supposed to be a certain way, would even tease his overweight teen sister back in the days.
      And when I look at myself now, I don’t think I am that hugely overweight. But to him, it was too much. It didn’t correspond to the image of the perfect wife he wanted to show to the world.

      Yet now, a good few men find me attractive. Or even very attractive. I was told recently that I was the most beautiful woman in a spa. These men don’t see me as overweight. They just see me for who I am, with, yes, a good few pounds too many.

      So what the post says really is true in a way: a woman’s beauty is independent from her weight. Or shape, or height. There is someone who will like exactly what you have to offer. The man who was with me at the spa didn’t like women who were skinnier than me. He found them uninteresting.
      I guess the problem isn’t the shape you are in when you meet someone. If they don’t like what they see, they won’t pursue you. So they won’t ever get to the phase where they see you naked. And the statement that “A guy in a room with a naked woman feels like he’s won the lottery” holds true.

      I think the problem is when a woman changes body shape over the course of her life, whether by gaining or losing a lot of weight. That, added to routine, makes it so that men start to lose desire in us. THAT in my opinion is where the person you are referring to was coming from. It was the same for me.
      And I must say: it’s the same the other way round. some women also have trouble with the change in body shape in their significant others.

      Sometimes we just need to accept that we are not in sync with the other any more and move forward, or away, without them…

      Gosh, I need to write a post rather than hug people’s comments 😉
      Sorry Ann 🙂

      • I keep telling you, hog away 🙂

        Dawn, I’m sorry to hear about the impact your ex had on you, and I completely understand it. I was never obese but I’m consistently medically overweight, and during my marriage was heavier and in less good shape, and my self-esteem suffered.

        I’m now accepting of my shape and it’s a huge difference for me.

        • I was never obese either (I wonder, if you thought that, where you got it from?). I am medically overweight too, I think. I don’t know any more because I haven’t weighed myself in a long time. Simply because I recognised the need to start to like myself as I am before I tried to change anything. If I want to change anything, it’ll have to be on my terms, because I feel unfit or something similar. Not to appeal to someone else.
          This is my way towards healing from the sad things my husband led me to believe.
          I’m like you: I am now accepting of who I am. Apparently there are men out there who find me more than attractive. One told me not long ago that I was the most beautiful woman in a roomfull. And he not only said it but I could see it in his eyes, feel it in his actions. As I told the Dancer, it’s great to look at myself in the mirror of his eyes. It is a sure boost to my self-esteem. Granted, I feel the same way when I look at him 🙂

    • Well, she does say that men picked the middle of the weight scale she showed, but yes, she didn’t tackle the extremes of the scale. I don’t disagree with you about obesity and rejection.

      However, many “average” women also struggle with body image concerns. You just have to read the blogs of our fellow bloggers to know this to be true. Women with what I would consider to be fantastic bodies complain that they are unhappy and feel ugly and unattractive.

      Because of what you have experienced, you dismiss these concerns as not being “serious”. Of course, it’s far far worse for someone who is obese. But the concerns are serious to the women who feel this way.

      That’s why I reblogged the post – there are so many women out there who should be comfortable with how they look, be confident, and know that the men in their lives probably find them attractive.

What do you think?