I have an answer to one of my unknowns.

As I wrote recently, I currently have three big unknowns in my life, causing considerable stress.  Late Tuesday night, one of the three were resolved.

I was at my friends country place. My phone was connected to the stereo system to listen to music; as such, I didn’t check my email or text messages until I went to bed.

I had a text from Will: “Can you call me?”

Long story short? He was quitting his very well-paying senior executive job the next day. He was taking a new job at a not-for-profit in the arts, in our city.

He isn’t going to sell his house (the one we shared for so many years) because he thinks his salary will be okay, at least in the short term.

Best of all for Liam? His father will be back here, permanently, within four weeks. Mid-April.

I know this is very good news. I really do.

But I still feel a sense of loss. As much as I resented the restrictions that happened in my life back in September when Will left, I was able to work through the anger and resentment. My Mother quite wisely counselled that I would look back on this time as a gift.

Indeed, she is right. Once I got my head out of my ass, I focussed on my son and the time we spent together each week, every week. We went on big trips and day trips and did all kinds of fun things together. I knew the day would come when Will would announce his return and when I got that phone call, I wanted damn sure I wasn’t going to think “oh, crap…there were still so many things I wanted to do with Liam”.

I’m so glad I took that approach. I know how fast time flies with children this age. I’ve learned a lot about my son and although still feel I should find a way to be home earlier most nights, I am generally satisfied with the decisions I’ve made and the balance I found.

It will be interesting to see how we all adjust to what we did before.

On the one hand, I will now have time every other week for social engagements, for my business travel, for the gym, and for myself. I no longer have to negotiate before I can make plans. Obviously, it’s amazing that Liam will have his Dad back.

On the other hand, I suspect it will be lonely to not always have my house occupied. I will definitely miss having Liam with me all the time. Less time with him means more pressure on the weeks he’s with me to rigorously manage my already crazy work schedule. I will now have to negotiate more child rearing decisions (although Will and I kept closely connected on this while he was away).

I know I will be fine. I know we will work it out and ultimately it is much better. But just like it was an adjustment when Will left, it is an adjustment when he returns.

Finally, I have one of my three unknowns revealed. And now that it’s known, I can do what I do best – deal with it.

On to the next two.

0 thoughts on “I have an answer to one of my unknowns.

  1. Double-edged sword, Ann? More free time and flexibility with your schedule but at the expense of Liam’s time with you. You’ll sort out a norm that works for both of you.

    • We have already agreed to week-on week-off like we did before. So Liam and I will just adjust and we’ll be fine. I guess I don’t see it as a double-edged sword as much as something I have to get used to.

      And I have an enhanced appreciation for the time I do have with Liam.

  2. This is definitely a great example of the happy/sad events in life. But I know the time your full-time period with Liam at this phase in his life is something you will always cherish. I’m glad Will will be closer again, that Liam will have the benefit of more routine and time with his dad, though.

  3. Ah, I totally understand the feeling. It may not be double edged-sword completely, but at least you know that some things that you liked are going to change. And you don’t know yet what they are going to be replaced with. It’s a tough spot to be in. I should know. I’m in it right now, for slightly different reasons, but still, I’m in that things are not going to be as I thought they would, what is my life going to be like (though mine may be a tiny bit more extreme than yours, at least you still know what your job is going to be, where your home will be and so on… ). Sorry, I’m having a bit of a hard time right now :-/
    I shouldn’t have taken it on your blog 🙁

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