Poker, Pizza, Period, and Poke-Her | My Friday night date

It remains frigidly cold in my neck of the woods. Friday was -22 Farenheit / -30 Celsius. Not a great temperature for outside play. I also just got my period (in time for my date – yay body, thanks!) and frankly wasn’t feeling all that fantastic. Men, be happy you don’t get menstrual cramps. They are brutal.

Tony and I planned for me to come to his place on Friday night. Originally there was talk of trying to go bowling again. Ultimately we decided we would order in pizza and he would teach me how to play Poker. He is a good player but doesn’t play all that often.

I drove to his place after work, enjoying the view of the crescent moon and of Venus on the very cold and clear night.

When I showed up there was a strong smell of marijuana. I knew he was an occasional smoker but was still surprised at this. I casually commented and he said “heck yeah, it’s Friday night”. He wasn’t overly stoned but I could see a bit of a difference than when he was sober. He told me a few stories about his habits, including that he is cutting back, and I realize he’s more than an occasional smoker. I’m not sure how I feel about this.

We sit on his couch and talk. I drink sparkling wine and he nurses a beer.

I manage to let him know I’m on my period. It doesn’t faze him at all – I didn’t think it would, since we have had sex before when I’m menstruating, but I also didn’t want him to have an unpleasant surprise.

The pizza arrives and it reminds me of Will – since it’s from the same place his family always ordered from.

We talk. We kiss.

We kiss more. He pushes me down on the couch then pulls me up and marches me up to his king size bed. He says he wants more room. Poker lessons will have to wait for another night.

I use his restraints. On him. I take my sweet time exploring his entire body with my hands and my mouth. It’s rather fun and he’s not used to not being able to do what he likes.

Eventually I take pity on him and untie him. It’s not as much fun without his hands on me.

He likes to bite. Normally his area of choice is my shoulder (just like Andrew, actually). He bites my forearm, hard, and at the same time I’m moaning I think “oh, that’s going to bruise”. As I’m writing this I look down and oh yeah, I will be asked questions if I wear short sleeves this week.

The sex continues to be good, and the prior issues are getting better. There is still not as much variety as I would like, but I’m partially afraid to try any other positions with him lest he lose his erection. He still hasn’t let me be on top and I joked about it.

But he’s so f*cking sensual. He has this way of putting both hands into my hair on either side of my face to pull me in to him. Of taking one of my fingers in my mouth and sucking. Of biting my bottom lip just a little bit when he kisses me. Of grabbing my hips, hard. Running his fingers along the inside of my forearm.

Sigh. I get wet just thinking of these things.

But the sex isn’t really the most interesting part of today’s story.

After the first round of sex, we were laying intertwined in his bed. He had been rather rough, with my encouragement. Even going so far as to spank me – but I had to keep asking for it, harder. Which reminds me I should check to see if my ass is sporting any bruises yet.

I asked “have you ever explored your Dom side?” and he replied that his ex-wife wasn’t into it. I said “what about before her or after?”

He says he’s always been the kind of guy who likes to hold a woman’s arms down. The way he talks makes me think he’s had some sexual experiences between his ex and me. This is good. But he also said I was his first first date, so of course now I’m curious what kind of experiences he had and how he found them. It’s just curiosity; no worry has yet surfaced in this analytical head of mine.

Then I ask him if he’d ever been to a fetish club. He says no, but he’s interested in going. I tell him the story of going to a dungeon for a pressure points seminar with a guy who runs his own playspace (I haven’t written that story here yet).

He tells me one swingers club in the city is near a place he gets coffee. He tells me a funny story of one day being outside with his coffee and a woman is out there in nothing but a towel, smoking a cigarette. Then he mentions another one that he’s always wanted to go to – it’s the one that hosts the gangbang night that is on my to-do list.

I tell him I’d go with him. He seems pleased and a little surprised.

I ask him what he would want to do there… he says “not a full swap” (so the dude knows the lingo, definitely) and references being too Alpha to really want to share me in that way. I mention I’ve never been with a woman but could probably be a recipient – that in the moment, if I’m turned on and a little intoxicated it’s quite likely I would go there. He says how hot it would be to see me be pleasured by a woman.

He also says (and I didn’t catch it all but didn’t want to appear too eager by asking him to clarify) something about me with other men. Along the lines of he thinks he might enjoy that because I can just keep cuming and want more, and it might be rather handy to have someone else to help me.

I don’t think I need to say it, but I am exceedingly chuffed with this turn of conversation.

But I also can’t help but think how his erection will manage at a sex club. I almost get the guts up to say something like “hey have you ever played with Viagra or Cialis” but can’t bring myself to do it. A friend gave me a Cialis sample when she learned of my issues with Tony. The package remains unused in my side table.

We also talked about the Five Love Languages. While he hadn’t heard of the book, when I described it he said he’s an Acts of Service and Quality Time guy. Good to know.

All in all, it turned out to be an educational evening. Things keep looking up with this one.


(And yes, Shakespeare saying “suck it” has a rather tenuous connection to this post…but I found the image a year ago and just liked it.)

0 thoughts on “Poker, Pizza, Period, and Poke-Her | My Friday night date

  1. Wow they still use the term Fetish club. LOL. And I smile at swingers club. None of these words are breathtaking or sexy in any way.

    But love to see how you are evolving and wanting the hand on haha. Love the 50 shades of red… makes these cheeks look like a delicious apple to bite in.

    Thank you for the good read.

      • I personally prefer club of desires. Fetish sounds so negative. So what if you like latex, whips and bondage. Swingers club as well, as if you have to swing. When you could just go to be watched (which on some occasions do enhance performance as men have that unproven competitive gene).

        And yeah I would like the marks. Though the sporting might be found abusive by the Vanillas. Haha

        See in what state you are bringing me. Damn.

  2. So glad you are continuing to enjoy Tony’s company and the relationship is slowly blossoming and improving. Is there a nice way to say I like it when you write happy without thinking that I sound like I like it less when you’re writing hurt or in emotionally analytical mode?

    On the marijuana use, if he is more than an occasional user could it factor into the erection maintenance the has concerned you? It sounds like things are improving, but since you have mentioned it previously and now the pot it makes me wonder. I worked with a guy had a prescription for medical marijuana, grew his own organic pot, and was a regular smoker. He shared that ED was probably the worst side effect for him from regular use.

    • Janelle, I do know what you mean about preferring me when “I write happy”. I prefer to be happy and therefore writing that way…so it’s all good and no offense taken.

      And it did occur to me that perhaps the mj use would impact that. I did ask him if being high made him more or less horny…he said it didn’t have an impact either way. But I did think perhaps it could open the door up for that discussion.

      What I totally forgot to mention in my post is that he also talked about maybe he should masturbate less during the day… when I inquired how much he was doing it he said it varied but could be several times a day. So lots of things for my brain to process lol… the good news is I think it means he’s got a pretty high sex drive, like me. A girl can dream!

      • I am so glad you got my meaning and were not offended. 🙂 You seem well matched on multiple levels, so I remain very hopeful for you and for this relationship. And yes, a girl should dream, because dreams may come true.

        • I don’t get offended all that easily, not to worry.

          I am actually loving the opportunity to practice new behaviors. I’m sure that sounds totally geeky but it’s true. It’s like when I met Will’s girlfriend way back when – I was very proud of myself.

          It’s the same thing here…my practicing patience, and not getting ahead of myself, and trying not to analyse every tiny thing…it becomes more comfortable for me.

  3. I guess there won’t be too many questions since it’s so cold outside it is unlikely you will wear short sleeves 😉
    Ok, I like most everything I’m reading here, and don’t have much else to say. I’m a bit jealous, which I know doesn’t help me in any way so what is the point?
    Enjoy 🙂

    • Gosh please don’t be jealous… since the conversation Friday night I find myself craving sex with multiple men 😉

      It’s not that I’m not happy…definitely don’t want to give that impression. BUT it would be wonderful to have my needs fulfilled across all spectrums.

  4. Ahhh, the pot head, I’ve dated a few of those…Regarding Janelle’s comment, the guy I dated the longest was actually a daily user and he had no issues in bed, but it prob does effect everyone differently so it’s a possibility. I dated a couple others who were more than an occasional user and they had loving hearts, a great job, and were always fun to be around.
    To me, there’s no difference between smoking a joint and having a few drinks…As long as any substance doesn’t get in the way of their job or releationships, I’m all for someone having fun.
    The only thing I can’t deal with in potheads is if they are they type who can’t remember sh*t! Once they forget a few conversations we’ve had or plans we made, I’m done with them!

    • I have no issue with pot use at all. It’s more when it crosses lines into work and parenting that I get a bit nervous. There are some behaviors I can’t help but see as weakness of character…and substance usage like that can feel like that with me, under certain circumstances.

      One guy I wrote about here that I had my second threesome with, in university (“the actor”) was a huge pothead and he had a terrible memory. I have no idea how he managed to memorize his lines!!

      But god, he was AMAZING in bed. Sigh.

      • I don’t smoke pot anymore and never really did on a regular basis. Yet, I don’t think smoking a joint is any different than having beer/wine in front of your child. If I had a child, I would want to teach my child that smoking pot is actually SAFER than drinking. It’s sad the number of lives that our loss to drunk drivers. How many are loss to potheads?
        I would say substance abuse is not necessarily a sign of weakness of character but a sign something else is going on and they don’t want to deal with it…But that is abuse and not the recreational user…

        • Agree on recreational use vs. abuse, totally… and not to be pedantic, but your comment about underlying issues / something else going on when you see abuse is exactly the point I’m making.

          I’m not suggesting that Tony is facing anything like that, but it’s the sniff of it (pardon the pun) that twigged my brain.

        • Lisafab I have to disagree because I’m the type that gets schizophrenic symptoms from too much pot. And they generally happen afterwards, not at the time of smoking. So in my case, its not safer than drinking at all. I’d say its on par with drinking but when I’m drinking I *know* I’m drunk so maybe its actually worse.

          Once I was driving and slammed on the brakes because a lifesize stick figure ran out in front of my car. It disappeared and then I realized it was my brain making shit up but here’s the kicker – I had been sober for 2 weeks!

          Just because most people have no side effects doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Teach your kids to make smart choices for their own bodies, we all respond differently to different things.

          As for smoking pot in front of your child, I put that in the same category as smoking cigarettes in front of your child, its selfish. Passive smoking for a kid is fucked, just like letting your kid swig on your alcohol bottle is. They’re delicate creatures!

          Sorry to get all anti on you, there’s no hard feelings I’m just giving the opinion of the other side 🙂

          • I did say “it prob does affect everyone differently” and I guess I should just take the “prob” out because of course it effects everyone differently. But the FACT is there are a million statistics about the dangers of drinking and driving…And we still have liquor stores in every town…no matter how small the town is…But leagalize pot?!?! Oh my!!!! NOOOO! We can’t do that!! And it just doesn’t make sense to me (however, I actually, do live in CO so it’s not an issue for me per say) =)
            And when I did smoke up, I never did drive cause I didn’t trust my actions, just like with drinking…so of course I agree that it is important to teach kids about smart choices…
            I didn’t think about the effects of passive smoking…I do agree that is selfish…I’m 40 & never gonna have kids so you can sigh a big relief I’m not gonna dammage any kids. =) Just thinking if I did have kids what I would do…So I guess, I would smoke a joint outside if I chose to smoke up…
            And I love a debate so thanks for your insight…

          • I think the legality is more so about effects on the brain rather than the amount of driving casualties;
            Drinking and driving is bad. Smoking pot and driving is bad. They’re equal there in the immediate effects on your reaction time etc.

            But can alcohol effect someone days later (or weeks in my case)? No.
            Can alcohol affect your mental health that could cause problems in the long term? Not that I know of.
            Before you say addiction, yes there’s always addiction with anything, obviously alcohol included. As much as people say weed is just a habit, I’ve known plenty of people (myself included) that would do it every day. My bf in the beginning would smoke a bong before going to work at 3am in the morning. So where’s the line between habit and addiction? I guess that’s a question for another day.

            And to make sure I’m covering all bases, alcohol can definitely effect your physical health. I can’t really comment on physical health effects for weed because I just don’t know, but I presume for the few who mix up joints with tobacco out of cigarettes, the carcinogens can’t be good for your lungs.

            I guess if you personally have no mental effects then you’re one of the lucky ones 🙂 But some of us aren’t, so I suspect that’s why most countries (and your states) don’t have it legalised. If there’s as many weed shops as liquor shops, more people will smoke it and more people may be slamming on the brakes while driving sober like I did. Its a small danger but a danger nevertheless.

            Governments have to consider all the possible risks before making a decision and the only real thing they have to gain from legalising weed is happiness from those who love pot. If people who love pot are a high percentage in the state/country then I daresay they’ll use it to help with votes but if its not a high percentage then its just not feasible. Basically, its not real important in the scheme of things, it could pose further risks but they’ll consider it if it will get them votes.

            Sorry ann for flooding your wall! Hahaha 😛

  5. I am quite curious to see where this is going 🙂

    Now about the Five Love Languages, thank you so much for that link, it was actually quite interesting. I found out my love language is Words (followed by Quality Time) and my boyfriend’s main language is Acts of Service (followed by Quality Time).

  6. I’m going to agree with Janelle – bf used to smoke quite a bit when I first met him and had definite issues in the bedroom. The drive was there but the erection came and went and he didn’t last long. As soon as he quit he was back to normal.

    He does occasionally share a joint with friends now and that doesn’t affect him in the bedroom. If Tony doesn’t look like he wants to quit then at least cutting down should help 🙂

    Maybe read up on it a bit more so you can decide if you want to casually enter it in conversation or not..

  7. alright, so inquiring minds want to know was it thin crust or regular crust? 😉

    loved reading this and the excitement I felt in it. sometimes the simplest things have the biggest impacts.

      • I just realized my comment posted to the wrong post. It was to go to your “a love story in two sentences” post. *rolling eyes* that is what happens when I have too many windows open while trying to catch up on reading while working on other things.

        I’m intrigued and excited for you here about him opening up about some of the things he might be willing to partake in with you. And it is interesting that the marijuana might be what is contributing to his ups and downs.

  8. Brilliant evening overall it seems. Especially the possibility of exploring the things you want to, with a trusted partner/boyfriend! As for the Cialis keep it on hand and invest in a couple of disposable silicon cock rings…just saying 😉

What do you think?