Waaaay back when I went online and was on the naughty section of a dating site, I met a man I referred to here as “The Model“, because he used to be one. He lives in New York City which is not close to me in the slightest, but I travel there every once in a while for work.
At the time, I was in a place where an intelligent old soul who was also highly sexual was very appealing, even when he was far away. I knew it was dopey to be talking to him but it wasn’t like I was overwhelmed with options. He said he would travel to meet me but never pulled the proverbial trigger.
We exchanged emails, sexy texts, and had long phone conversations. But through the course of NIM, the Giant, Jason and Johnny Id, combined with the lack of ever meeting, I stopped reaching out. However, each time I was in NYC I would send an email to see if he wanted to meet. He would say yes then would cancel for one reason or another.
For this trip I did the same thing. Not because I wanted to have some illicit sex with him, but because I’m curious to meet him face to face. We always had a good connection and interesting conversations. I wondered whether we would have chemistry. But there was no way I would act on it.
He agreed to meet me for lunch. Note I recommended lunch because it’s not conductive to him trying to fuck me.
Then I realised who am I kidding of course he’s going to try to fuck me. He had made a comment about how long it had been for him and I realised I had to tell him I was dating someone exclusively. Which I did.
His response was to ask why I would meet him if I was dating someone else.
I explained what I said above, adding that (duh) it wasn’t as if I assumed we would sleep together any of those other times.
im sure you have plenty of male friends.. if u r single an want to meet let me know..
And his response?
correct.. i dont want to meet and like you and not be able to play.. im sure we would get along just by our phone sessions.. we think alike in many respects
Now. I kinda think if someone isn’t willing to meet me for a coffee or drink with no promise of sex, I should avoid them. However, I was really surprised at this one. It makes me feel like that’s all he wants me for. On the other hand, why would we torture ourselves knowing I am not going to act on it?
I’m not really sure how to think about this. Part of me wants to say “fuck you, you are never hearing from me again” and part of me understands where he is coming from.
I’m curious how you see this.
And while my breakfast date has moved to a lunch date, now I’m dateless on Friday morning. Sigh.