While things are good with Tony (who right now is on a solo trip for a few nights) I haven’t seen him since Sunday night.
This may not be a problem emotionally (although y’all know I want more time with him), but it’s a problem physically.
Pretty sure I’ve mentioned my libido is damn high. I’ve been accused of being a nymphomaniac and insatiable. The latter I believe, the former I’m not sure I know enough of the technical definition and right now don’t feel like looking it up.
All that to say, I want to get laid pretty much all the time.
So, I have this great guy who can see me once a week and maybe twice. This is not enough.
I worked from home two days this week and both days had several sessions with my Hitachi and a dildo. The release is nice but it doesn’t ultimately satiate me. Perhaps it makes the desire worse. Certainly when I wasn’t having sex in my marriage, I wasn’t physically craving sex.
I have two options: have sex with someone else, or don’t. Tony and I haven’t had an exclusivity conversation, although I suppose at some point I would like to. But I suspect he wouldn’t expect me to date or have sex with anyone else. If there is any hope for a real relationship, I sure as hell don’t want to start it with deception.
On the other hand, there are two willing partners who could satiate me without any associated drama. One is someone I haven’t written about – our first (and only) date was a pressure points seminar at a local BDSM “dungeon”. He was a gentleman and we didn’t even kiss. But he’s naughty as hell and even runs a “playroom” in the city.
The other is Jason. As it turns out, Jason has gotten back together with his ex. I reached out to see how he was doing, and I told him about Tony but also that I wasn’t seeing him enough. Jason told me that he was exclusive with the mother of his child “but with you not sure I could be if you were a damsel in distress”.
I told Jason I wasn’t ready to push his emergency button just yet.