Image Note…I did a google search for “awkward sex” and stumbled upon this truly horrifying tattoo. It made me think that awkward is all relative and therefore made me feel a bit better.
I do have some story threads I haven’t followed up on yet (namely the Italian, and some other December activity that was interesting) but I just haven’t been feeling it this week.
I have been feeling the pain of a fellow blogger and the bad treatment she’s been receiving, and it got me thinking about men who will pursue you like crazy and promise to meet, but then disappear when it comes time to make plans. There are also the men who disappear after a first date where you have sex with them.
I wish I could say I knew about men who I had first dates where I didn’t have sex with them, but there aren’t many. Granted, I’m almost certain I got second dates when I wanted them. I am not willing to say it’s a guarantee, but I’m definitely pondering.
She and I have been talking about it and agree it’s a total mystery why it happens. I’m going to ask my Mom the next time I see her, to get her thoughts on the matter. If she’s got anything interesting to say, I will be writing about it. Of course I welcome your opinions on why it happens.
BUT that is not what this post is about.
Do you have some things that have happened which come back like a skipping record in your head? Words that were said, something you did or didn’t do, and it haunts you occasionally?
I’m not sure why, but there is something that happened with Andrew that didn’t seem noteworthy to include in a post. But it keeps cropping up. I’m hoping by putting it here the exorcism will be complete.
We were having sex in my bedroom – it was probably one of the last few times we were together. I love to listen to music during sex. I even wrote a post that listed all the songs on my sex playlist. I think I like music because I enjoy moving to the music – give me some great blues or reggae and my brain and body will respond in kind. (Which reminds me of something I forgot to mention about Tony and the date at his place – he had a terrific sex playlist and put music on without my asking. Nice.)
Sometimes I end up with an errant song in a playlist – one I thought would fit but ultimately doesn’t. If I think about it, I delete it from my phone and update the playlist in iTunes. But sometimes, I forget.
That particular night, the song It Will Rain by Bruno Mars came up in rotation – mid sex. I do happen to love the song, and I used to listen to it when I was morose about Faraway Lover (another loose story thread). But it’s a little slow and too romantic in comparison to the other songs on the list. I didn’t think much of it, but Andrew got all weirded out.
I distinctly got the impression he thought I was trying to say something to him with that song. Sheesh.
Sure, it’s romantic, but honestly I think I could fuck anyone to that song. Reality is that orgasmic sex produces oxytocin no matter what, so a woman is going to be all gooey with a sexual partner even when they are just a fuck buddy. Don’t believe me? It’s been proven – you can get the Psychology Today version or from the Daily Mail.
Excerpt from Psychology Today: Here is what happens with women. After making love a woman might mistake the oxytocin release for feelings that tell her, “This is your perfect partner.” As Breuning notes, “Despite those initial feelings, it does not necessarily mean that the person is trustworthy. The perception you have at the moment is an illusion you create about the person that may or may not fit what happens next.”
All that to say, I think he overreacted. He made a comment about not being able to “do this” to the song and said he needed a break. I skipped to the next song right away, then felt bad, then weird, but didn’t want to tell him that the song wasn’t a reflection of how I felt about him.
It was supremely awkward.
Image Source: http://cdn.gagband.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Most-Awkward-SEX-tattoos-1.jpg)