A rather lovely weekend. Except the sleep deprivation.

I broke my daily posting routine – again. I think this will be my 365th post, unbelievably.

But I took to heart the advice I got (take time if I need it, essentially) and furthermore, I didn’t have much to say on Sunday that was current. I could have taken a picture of myself but it felt rather empty (with no disrespect to those to do – Selfie Sunday is just not something I feel compelled to do on a regular basis).

I have a post in progress about the crazy Italian. We never met but his text messages were ridiculous. I have another post (inspired by Will Carrier constantly asking me why I was dating online) to demonstrate that while not all men online are looking for sex, there were hardly a whole lot I found worthy of a response for me. Just not a good fit, and all that. But I wasn’t inspired to complete either.

After I wrote my Saturday post, I had a pretty darn good day. I bought a new turntable and spent much of the afternoon with my son making our way through the albums my father gave me. Joan Baez, the Beatles, Kris Kristofferson, Keith Jarrett, Rod Stewart, the list goes on. It was amazing. We replaced burnt out lightbulbs, put all the Christmas stuff out, and just hung out. It was lovely.

Sunday was another day with my son, and whilst I had great plans (go to the art gallery! Go skating!) we ended up spending most of the day at home. I dealt with what felt like (and was) months of collected detritus. It was very satisfying.

Last night, my son and I had dinner with a University roommate who lives a quarter around the world away (I know “half way around the world” sounds better, but it is inaccurate). I haven’t seen him in over 8 years. He lived with four women and none of us had sex with him in the three years we lived together (ever, actually).  He’s still married to the woman he met when we were in school together. He trains elite athletes (think Olympics) and is 6’3″ and in pretty damn good shape himself. Like crazy good.

Don’t worry, there’s no sexy story about my sleeping with an old friend. I’m just not attracted to him that way.

BUT I did manage to see Tony on Sunday night. We had tentative plans on Saturday night but he had been in a sports tournament and was in way too much pain to come over. There was a bit of drama for me on Saturday night when I hadn’t heard from him, so I finally proactively texted him saying “I hope I’m not bugging you but I thought I would have heard from you by now on whether you are coming over this evening?”

His first response was that I would never bug him. It was sweet – and I was irritated he hadn’t taken the time to text me earlier, but I had also told him I didn’t need to know much in advance as I was home anyway. Trying not to be peevish, I figured I could tell him after the fact that I needed a bit more communication from him. He said 8 days would be too long to not see me, so he was coming over for sure on Sunday.

He arrived around 10pm and we listened to music, snacked, talked, and kissed. It is so comfortable and fun with him. One of the things I particularly like – and I know this is going to sound moronic – is that since he actually likes me for more than just the physical stuff, he’s not fast to get into my pants or under my shirt each time I see him. Yes, I know, it’s rather obvious.

Don’t get me wrong…there is still crazy strong chemistry between us. But while so many men would start with kissing and just keep going, he will pause. Touch me for a while during a conversation, then kiss me again. It’s also a great way to build up sexual tension.

I put on an old Ray Charles album (which I will get the title of if you want it) and it was smoking hot for making out to. That did us in, and we went upstairs to my bedroom.

I knew he needed to take it easy, so I wasn’t surprised that he just spent some time with his hands between my legs. He was ready to go to sleep after that and I started playing around him. No, the hydraulics issues aren’t gone yet. They are a bit better than the first couple of times we were together. Still, I got him all worked up and we ended up having sex. Our post-sex conversation was all about sex toys. He said he was intrigued that I had two drawers of them and was looking forward to using them on me. He told me he wanted to take a whole day with me and use them all.

I asked him if he had noticed the one on the floor (which I bought a few weeks ago and since I don’t think it looks that obvious just hadn’t bothered putting it away). He said he had, and had looked it up afterwards. It’s a stainless steel two ended thing made by NJoy. It is incredibly heavy and scary looking and can be used for both g-spot or prostate stimulation.

I told him it had never been used but I’d love for him to use it on me. He liked that thought.

We fell asleep first wrapped together, then just touching, and I had the alarm set for 6am.

At 3am I was awoken by the sound of my toilet flushing. A small child in flannel pyjamas wandered into my bedroom and looked very confused at the large male shape on the side of the bed that he usually crawls into.

Crap. This was a first.

I quickly went into my son’s room and soon learned what a colossal mistake it was to not just let him get into my bed (I had told Tony that it was a possibility, and he was okay with it). My son was having none of my plan to have him go back to sleep in his bed, even with me there.

I was awake for 2 hours with him. He was angry with me. He wanted to be in my bed. He didn’t want Tony to be. I felt pretty bad about the whole thing. I wasn’t at my best. I finally got him to sleep the first time by counting backwards from 500. No, that’s not a typo. Then he woke up again, and again. I think I need to start getting him to go back to his room when he wakes up. It might be time.

Tony and I woke up early and had some pretty good morning sex. I was paying attention to him and climbed on top and then he said “I need to get behind you, NOW” and pushed me over on to my knees. God, it was hot. When we were finished he collapsed on top of me and said “gosh, I could do that all day”. I liked the sound of that.

I made him an espresso and we chatted and flirted and then he realized I had to wake up my son and was going to be picked up by an airport limo in 20 minutes. Time to go. He told me to text him any time I was bored and I joked about his text messaging quantity and that I was worried I would be bugging him if I was always proactively texted him. He told me that wasn’t the case at all and I could text him all the time. He said he was inconsistent with texting: sometimes he was bored waiting for something to happen at work and other times he was super busy and couldn’t respond.

It feels really good, being with him. I feel, for lack of a better word, content. I know he likes me – we said so to each other. He is planning other dates for us. While I would love for him to be more effusive in his feelings, I know it’s probably going to take a bit of time. Right now, I’m willing to give it to him.

0 thoughts on “A rather lovely weekend. Except the sleep deprivation.

  1. Sounds like a lovely evening. I think Tony sounds pretty amazing! 🙂
    I always wonder about your son being close by and what he knows/hears. Do you think he tells his dad about your “friends”? I hope that doesn’t turn into more drama for you. But little boys get kind of stingy with their mommas… you know?

    • He has only met two men… The Giant (for an hour) and Johnny Id. I have had a couple of men over in the past year when he has been home (after bedtime) but that is it. He is oblivious. But now that I have him all the time, and things are going well with Tony, it is practical to have him be comfortable with that.

      And his Dad has been having playdates with his girlfriend and her kids for 18 months. So I am overdue 🙂

      • Well I hope Tony will be around for a while. It is very practical for your son to be comfortable with him, but maybe they should have met differently? And are you SURE he is oblivious? Kids are more in tune than we give them credit for sometimes…..
        And yeah, the whole thing with his dad and new girlfriend…forgot about that. But again, dynamics are different with dads and sharing mom. Just sayin….. If Tony is going to be a part of your life, make it more even ground rather than “There is a man in MY bed with MY mom and I don’t even know who he is.”
        I know it’s not something you do all the time and you want to protect your little guy. That totally makes sense. Just don’t underestimate your little man. He may be more ‘blivious than you think! 😉

        • Gosh yes they DEFINITELY should have met differently. It wasn’t well thought out on my part… my son wakes up before 6am maybe once every six months, so I know I was gambling with the chance it would be that one night Tony was there.

          This is why I don’t gamble.

          My son is oblivious – as he’s fully asleep 🙂

          But I do know what you mean, totally. I haven’t had “friends” hang out with him thinking that he won’t pick up on a relationship. Or those kinds of things.

          • I don’t gamble either. I’m no good at it! LOL! I might as well stand on the corner and hand out $20s ha ha ha!
            It sounds like you are pretty aware of him and his habits and I’m sure you would be careful with your son. You have a potentially really great relationship with Tony so he will need to get to know your son at some point. Best to figure out where it is headed first. 🙂
            We all make better 20/20 hind vision decisions. Trust me when I tell ya I wish there were things I could take back. Daughter is 27 and my mother still never misses an opportunity to tell me what a horrible parent I have been. 🙁 Somehow she has turned out to be pretty ok. I’ve made some doozies but hopefully I have learned enough about what NOT to so that others can glean some knowledge from my mistakes….

          • Gosh that’s terrible… I’m not sure why some people think it’s a good thing to remind us of all the things we have done wrong, instead of encouraging us to do more of what is right.

  2. Ann, this just keeps getting better with Tony (at least from my tunnel-visioned vantage point. Tony’s pace is clearly not what you have been accustomed to, but the change he brings to you is benefiting you in helping to change some of your habits (i.e., sleep).

    I am glad that you found a way to get the communication topic broached with him and I hope that you see some positive changes in that arena,

    I would have to agree with you on the kid-in-your-bed change being necessary. Savannah would bring our daughter into our bed and I was getting concerned about the bad habit that could be formed. As difficult as it was for you last night (er…this morning), can you imagine what you would be dealing with if he walked in DURING your fun with Tony?

    • Oh yeah!! We did talk about that too… I asked him if he noticed it. I joked a bit about how I came to purchase it. I think I scare him a little, but he’s also excited to play with me and my two drawers of toys 😀

      And yes, it’s totally liberating. I felt so calm last night when I realized I’m confident in how he feels – at least today 🙂

      • “…at least today”

        Ann, really? Stop straddling the fence. It is ok to relax this just a little and allow yourself a fraction of trust to build. Skepticism is healthy. However, too much will keep you awake at night and keep you from letting people in (which you will need to do at some point).

        Relax, my dear, dear Ann!

  3. I would say that the comment “Why is he still here Mummy? I thought he had left” states pretty clearly that your son was aware there was a man in the house.
    I think it is probably a good idea for the two of them to meet… or at least for you to have a talk with your son about him.
    As for the sleeping in… I would say that it is probably a good idea to explain that he can only come into your bed when he is sick, not simply when he wakes up at night. That you don’t mind going to give him a kiss in his bed, spending some time with him, but that he should lose the habit of coming into your bed. And/or, maybe, letting him know in advance if someone is bound to spend the night in it.
    And about that lock? Yep, get it fixed. ASAP 😉

    • OH!! Sorry it was in reference to my old roommate who we both had dinner with earlier. His first thought was it was him.

      Yes, my plan now is to talk to him about it, but start to reinforce that when he wakes up in the middle of the night, we will be going back to his room to help him get back to sleep.

      And yeah, heads up on sleepovers is key.

    • We talked a little bit about it tonight. I told my son we were going to work on him sleeping in his own bed – he wasn’t pleased about the thought but I didn’t push it, at least for tonight 🙂

      And yeah, not the best thing, but certainly not the worst either :/

      • Okay, how’s this…I feel bad for your son and I’m a little perturbed at you for putting him through that. Now will you accept my apology?

        Having a comment section means your readers can say what they think as long as they do it in a respectful manner, right?

        • Sure, and of course you can say such things.

          I got myself into a corner with him – I believe once you say “no” you should stick to it. I couldn’t come up with a way to change what I had clearly told him… Perhaps once wouldnt have matteres but I was also a little tired at the time.

  4. I was wondering about that. I thought about warning you but I figured you probably had a better plan in place than I did. I will never forgive myself for those times that I got ‘caught’.

      • Oh boy. Fully caught. 2 times. Shot any hopes of those relationships going anywhere right out of the water. I felt so bad, so guilty. Even before getting caught, they didn’t think I should see anyone. For a while I think they held hope that their dad would re enter the picture. Maybe they didn’t want to share me? They just didn’t like anyone I dated.

        • How old were they?

          Im curious why it ruined the relationships?

          One thing I did do with Tony was tell him there was a chance that my son might appear. He said he was okay with it – otherwise he could have gone home.

  5. So what happened with your son, did you end up having a talk. I feel like that’s the loose end in this story.

    Maybe I should just shuddup and wait for a few more posts? It usually happens that way doesn’t it, all my questions get answered the moment I ask!

What do you think?