A day in my online dating life

I know I tend to write about the guys who reach out and just want to fuck, or who write crazy stuff in an attempt to get my attention, or who end up just wanting sex.

But that’s actually not the majority of messages I get on dating sites. I just don’t write about them, because they are rather boring. Either the profiles or the messages are just – no. There are lots of guys out there but most just aren’t for me.

When I shut down my profiles a few weeks ago, I saved a few of the interactions with the sole intent of writing this post. Here are some examples of the dull and the not-for-me. Try not to fall asleep!


No thank you for the offer, my 25 year-old friend. And you are so naive to think there is no BS in an FWB. Just different:

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This is just boring. And a kiss of death when you send the exact same follow up within 24 hours… because it means you are taking a shotgun approach and boy, does that make a woman feel special:

IMG_2272This was one from a while ago but I don’t think I ever used it in a post. His profile was just bizarre (I don’t have it anymore) and poor guy just kept on texting me. I used to respond to everyone, thinking it was rude otherwise, but then I had to eventually say I wasn’t interested. Which was worse:

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Not a great opener. And while admittedly I said I don’t mind bathroom selfies, it’s not a good idea to use as your main pic. This guy’s was him with his arm flexed and barely any muscle (again, you don’t have to be muscular but usually that shot is for those who are). AND the picture was all blurry and he looked just strange:

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This kid was 22. I’m 41… not going to happen. And not sure what “newness” he was referring too…and I am not a cure for loneliness. I felt bad for him but knew I couldn’t help him. Definitely wasn’t a dating candidate. He would have probably been better to ask for sex:

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See “shotgun” comment above. And also, whose name is John Brown for real? I doubted that. Probably not a catfish since his photo was horrific. My guess was he was not from the country he said, given how poor his language was. Could have been someone who would ask for money. It’s happened to me (and I can’t remember if I wrote about it!):

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I don’t live in Los Angeles, first of all.  Not even close. He also had answered no questions at all which is not a great sign. If I had bothered to use google image search I’m pretty sure his pic (and he had just one) would have shown up somewhere not tied to this person. Perhaps the patriotism works for Americans? Like the one above, this is not an American military guy. Would bet a lot of money on it. 

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Again. Language is horrible. Not sure he’s even a person in my country and he definitely wasn’t the profession he said he was, because they usually have pretty good spelling and grammar. Pretty darn sure he would be asking me for money for his import business, sooner or later:

IMG_3812Ah, catfish. Gotta love them: 

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There are normal and decent men out there, I promise. But to be online you also have to be willing to put up with the bizarre, rude, and the fake. I wrote before about men who will just text you endlessly and never ask you out  (and I don’t mean text about sex, at least that can be fun sometimes).

 

0 thoughts on “A day in my online dating life

  1. I love to hear what other men (boys?) are doing to reach out to women… Just solidifies that my approach is better than most. A recent favorite shared by a friend “Are you a beaver? Cause dammmmmmmmmmm!”

      • I follow the same approach I would were it IRL and not digital. I start by introducing myself, followed by why I’m doing so (smile, outfit, shoes, etc – things that caught my eye, or common interest), then ask questions and respond accordingly – online this usually includes details from their profile. It’s a good way to show that I’ve listened to or read what they have to say. I’ve found that paying attention is the best strategy to keep. It’s not feigning interest by any means, I honestly do like to get to know someone or sadly, if they are worth getting to know.

        • I’m naturally interested in lots of people…meaning I can make conversation with anyone, inquire about their life, etc. But I learned doing that in online dating when I’m not actually interested just sends the wrong message.

          Your approach sounds fantastic 🙂

        • He’s got this nailed. Ive found this approach usually works as well. You listen to what they have to say and respond accordingly and you have a good chance of progressing.

          Ive heard too many stories from everyone about how the guy did nothing but talk about himself.

  2. Wow! NOT looking forward to ever getting involved with these guys! Even if only to read their messages!
    Thank you for showing us what it’s really like out there 🙂

      • *taking notes* haha! It does seem odd that he’s trying to find dates while being deployed.. I’m sure they can think of other things to do in their off time!

        And yeah far out, just had a 66 year old guy on FL send me a “come to daddy” speel and then put his phone number at the end. It reeks of desperation. Especially considering I have that I’m not available on my profile! Sheesh, the nerve!

  3. Well I must admit that this blog really does suite my interest.
    A lot of these guys sound like they from the Netflix show Lilyhammer which is great if you like quirky gangsters with limited english skills but probably not so great for making an online connection.

  4. Yowzers! I honestly don’t ever remember getting such bizarre, disrespectful or forward messages from guys in the short time I had a dating profile. :/

    • That was true when I first became single, no question. I would engage with almost anyone because of that…even if I knew they only wanted sex (which wasn’t that different from me) or had no relationship potential at all.

      Now? Sure, of course it’s flattering to receive messages. BUT the big difference is for many of these guys I know I am one of many other women they reached out to – the shot gun approach – so I don’t let it go to my head.

What do you think?