There are no words. Except these.

At least this makes for good blog fodder. An opening message on FetLife:

hi there πŸ™‚
i see your profile says you’re a hedonist, but maybe (hopefully) you’ll laugh at this idea?
just wondering if you think you and a gf or 2 of yours would have fun if i got naked and on my knees in front of you all and beat-off furiously for a few hours and just be your entertainment while you all sit back, fully dressed of course, and laugh your asses off for a “girls night” of hilarious fun?
and definitely feel free to grab me by the balls and have lots of fun teasing and laughing at me as well πŸ™‚
im white,6ft1tall, brown hair, in pretty good shape

And this exchange with a 28 year-old. Which makes me feel kinda dirty. And not in a good way:

Him: Hey, How are you? So, I understand this question will seem quite forward, but I would like to ask you, would you like to become my sister?

Me: Perhaps it’s because I have yet to be caffeinated, but I have no idea what that means…

Him: To elaborate, this is a very different, unique, unusual, and most importantly open minded thought i had, plus i dont actually have any sisters and that’s something I have always wanted. So, as a result, I came up with this very special incest relationship where it could be possible to have this sibling relationship even though we are obviously not blood related. I should mention that I would NOT want this to be just some online thing and as well, i would want to eventually become extremely close. What do you think?

Me: That isn’t for me, but good luck in your search.

[Shudder]

0 thoughts on “There are no words. Except these.

  1. Heading out for my lovely Friday am commute and I see this post. No one can fabricate content like this, can they?

    Sister?

    Ok, music up to 11. I have to drown this post out from my mind.

    • Now *that* is a good question.

      And people ask why it’s hard to meet men…

      Perhaps you can help. Ask the city men from my city (if they ever cross your path) a little bit about themselves…perhaps we can come up with a short questionnaire… and you can send them my way if they pass the test πŸ™‚

  2. Oh my goodness….what Hook said!

    PS: I tried to send you a {hug} on your other post last night and my iPad thwarted me.
    I’ll just send another one here πŸ™‚
    {{BIG HUGS}}

    • Thanks honey. I’m starting to hate commenting using my iPhone or iPad because with the iOS upgrade, WordPress app no longer spell checks anything!!

      Hope you are doing great πŸ™‚

      • I know!!
        I hate misspelling anything.
        I’m doing well, my friend. Back to the grind after being gone a week and trying to pretend I’m smart for the rest of this work day πŸ˜‰

  3. shudder indeed πŸ˜‰
    not so much the first inquiry as that’s just funny. but when it comes to role play fantasies- incest, rape, violence are not my thing. at. all. even though i recognize it’s a role play fantasy, incest is one that makes me throw up. erg.

      • Haha yeah I suspect they’re just frustrated with getting to know people then finding out that person wont partake in their fetish. I assume it’d be better if they talk to people in those fetish groups rather than people who aren’t though… Maybe they’re hoping to peak your interest in trying something new? I wouldn’t join a trampling group but after talking to this guy who wants me to trample him I’m actually keen to do it hahaha! It sounds fun πŸ˜€

        The wine, bunch of girlfriends and subby boy one doesn’t sound so bad?

  4. The first guys request was really funny. But my question is: Who the hell can beat off for hours? Hours!? And who the hell would want to? And who could watch something like that for hours? Maybe I’m just getting old.

  5. Oh Ann, I feel ya honey. I found one the other day on FL who liked for woman to push hard boiled eggs (in shell) up his ass so that he could lay them like a hen and sit on them to incubate. Not much else says crazier to me. Sometimes people who are that deviant need to keep it to themselves.

  6. If your experiences are typical of what guys are after on FetLife, I reckon I should get on there as there is obviously a huge unserved market for kinky guys who aren’t just really weird or dangerous. I could have a whole lotta fun.

  7. The second seems to come from a clichΓ© farmer, I think the idea is not bad (it wasn’t bad when a younger lady than me asked me to be her brother) but the words were badly chosen.
    In some chats guys talked to me (and those were not even dating chats or something like that and although not homophobic there are some uncomfortable conversations) to say me things that would let the two examples you put as poetry in comparison. For that I don’t enter public chats anymore.

What do you think?