I decided I was going to fuck the dog trainer. The dude was good with his hands and I figured the rest would follow. I wanted to see what the sex was like with him since I had some reservations about his Dominance and whether he would be able to respect me in the bedroom.
He was relatively fine with my not showing up at my front door as requested. I explained to him my butt plug has a recently-discovered-by-me design flaw which is the handy loop at the bottom is squishy and if I sit on it, it goes in too. (Yes, this means I had to fish a butt plug out of my ass. Thank god for the loop. I didn’t really want to do that again.)
I showed him the butt plug and he laughed and said – what the hell, it’s the same size as my finger. He was right.
And I wore no collar because well hello! I have a cough and anything around my throat makes me feel like I’m about to hack up a lung.
We kissed. He got partially naked. I poured him a glass of wine and invited him up to my bedroom.
Oh! I totally forgot. Dude never wears underwear. NEVER. Random factoid.
Upstairs in my bedroom, we kiss, he puts his hand between my legs and starts rubbing.
Hmm. Okay, so honestly guys? Straight to the p*ssy (sorry J Blondie) is not quite the way to go with me. You need to kiss me a little bit, feel up my boobs, undress me, touch me in other places.
I wish I would have stayed up and written this post after he’d left, because now all the sex bits are confused in my head. I suppose I don’t need to provide a play-by-play since that’s not my style anyway. So here are the highlights:
He started off with some worship of my lady bits. He used those massive fingers (take note, UVM) to bring me to orgasm a few times over. He has this great move of putting the fingers of one hand inside (he knows how to find my g-spot quickly), and putting his other hand flat out over the lower part of my stomach, between my pelvis, and pressing down. It felt amazing.
Then he wanted me to use the big butt plug to try to stretch myself so I could accommodate his entire hand. Which I did. He lubed it up and watched me take it (well, as much as I could…have you seen that thing?!). Then he told me to get on my hands and knees. Which I did. He put his finger in my arse. It felt good. Then he fucked me in the arse.
Despite any early concerns I had about his size, they were long gone at this point. He has girth. So there was some pain. I told him to stop and you know what? He did. I told him I needed a moment, which he gave me. He provided some instruction to make it easier. He wasn’t an asshole about it (okay, using that term in this context made me giggle). We tried again, and he said he would go slower. He did at first and then it was fine…and he fucked me until he came.
I included that tidbit because the narrative about him is not just about him doing what he wanted without my consent or input. He did listen a few times that it mattered.
However, I have never gone there right to anal sex with someone (exception being Andrew in the threesome). It’s been something I’ve done after I’m comfortable with a lover. In a sex session, I prefer to work my way up to it. I don’t yet cum from anal sex. Mentally, I was actually rather uncomfortable.
He fucked me with my Hitachi with the Gonzo attachment. I had a very intense orgasm with it at a certain angle.
He did more with his hands. Tried to fist me (we managed only all four fingers which I gotta tell you, was a feat). More orgasms.
He grabbed my biggest dildo (9″) and fucked me with it. And wow, it felt crazy good. Even more orgasms.
However, his cock had yet to enter my p*ssy. Realizing that started a buzz in my brain. It occurred to me that perhaps he couldn’t or didn’t like it and that was why he didn’t try the first time we met. I asked him to lay down on the bed, which he did.
I kissed him all over. Gave him head. He wasn’t really coming to life the way I wanted. Now the buzzing in my head grew louder. I mean, can you ask a guy in a moment like that “Hey, am I not good at this? Do you need a moment? What’s the problem here?” Nope.
Eventually we got him there and I said “can I climb on top?” He got a funny look on his face and said “ah, I don’t like it so much”.
Cue the scratched record player sound.
“What?” I said. “Why not?”
“Too dominant a position for the woman” says he.
“You are kidding me.”
“It’s my favourite position.”
“Well okay, then, hop up”.
Which I did, and at first it didn’t do anything for me. He obviously wasn’t all that into it, but he enjoyed playing with my tits. After a while we did get into a good rhythm and for a brief moment I got excited I might have that full body orgasm that eluded me with Andrew. But nope, it just wasn’t going to happen.
He gave me my first ever spanking. I had rolled over after a particularly intense set of orgasms and had asked for a break. Lying on my stomach, he smacked my ass. I groaned. He did it again. And again.
With each smack, he would take a second and gently rub the spot he just hit. He moved across my ass, alternating spots. It didn’t hurt the way I feared it might. The touch after each smack started to feel better and better – but it is hard to describe how I felt. He was obviously skilled.
I actually really liked it. Hmm.
After I was thoroughly worn out, I made him two peanut butter and jam sandwiches. We talked and hung out in my bed. I fell asleep beside him then curled into my favourite spot so my head was resting on the nook of his shoulder. I feel asleep like that. Every time I woke up coughing he would say “are you okay, baby?” He left at 3am since he couldn’t leave his dogs overnight.
Here’s the thing. On the plus side, I definitely got a lot of pleasure out of our sexual encounters, I find him attractive, we have seamless conversations, he’s into me, and he’s keen to do nice things for me. He wants to spend time not just having sex.
But here are the negatives: there will always be a tension between the things we want to do sexually. I’m nowhere near as kinky as he. Reading his FetLife profile I think I am not the kind of woman he will be happy with.
I could probably deal with those negatives, if he can demonstrate patience. But the real dealbreaker for me? He’s moving WAY too quickly.
That night, he mentioned a few times how he’d like to take me shopping. He checked out my closets to see the kind of things I liked. He was flipping through a magazine and mused out loud what things he thought my son would like for Christmas. He said he’d like to go to the toy store with me for my son – and when I asked him why, he said it was because he was a big kid and he knows what kids like.
The day after, he called me first thing in the morning; I missed his call as I was asleep. He called me again shortly after I texted him a “good morning”. He called me again later in the afternoon. He was horny and I knew he wanted me to send him pics or have a hot chat. I had my son with me and just couldn’t. When I told him I had to go he sounded petulant to me.
This is the other extreme, and it’s very frustrating. I DO NOT want someone who moves this quickly. I do not want someone calling me several times a day. Making lots of plans. Insinuating themselves into all aspects of my life.
So I’m afraid I need to give this big dog a call and tell him he’s moving too fast. Perhaps given the combination of moving too fast AND the high likelihood of sexual incompatibility, I should just tell him he’s not the guy for me.
I will report back once it’s done.