Fet Life Flouder No. 4 | The Job Seeker

This one made me feel a little sad and totally creeped out at the same time.

The first message that came in from this 54 year-old “Top” with a spanking fetish was kinda cute:

“Hello. I just wanted to say hello as I stumbled upon your profile and you piqued my curiosity…. Spank ya later ;o)”

And as you may remember, given pique is so rarely spelled correctly, ever, I figured it warranted a response. I said:

“I can’t tell you how much it pleases me to have someone spell “pique” correctly 🙂 What is it about my profile that interests you?” 

No response.

No matter, I was moving on. But then a couple of days later, I get this:

“How are you ???…

You indicated By day your a straight laced executive…

Honestly…. seriously… may i ask?..

I humbly have to share I am embarrassed to share that I am unemployed and could use a little help if you inclined or have some thoughts productive advice I would be appreciative…

I can’t believe how insulting it is to be told repeatedly your over qualified over experienced.

If you are sincerely interested in being helpful, I could pass along my LinkedIn.

Thank you.”

I felt bad for the guy. But I didn’t respond.

The next morning, I get this:

“Hello me again…

First off I trust I have not upset you with asking for help as it is difficult to ask for help in the first place..

So on FL your not interested in online play ( ya who is?) or a casual encounter what is on your mind or what would you like to experience?”

I still didn’t respond. Then he sent me a friend request. And another message with his LinkedIn profile web address. WE ARE ON A FETISH SITE. Ugh.

I needed him to stop.

So I sent the following back to him: “I’m sorry to hear about your situation and I’m sure it is very frustrating. I wish I was in a position to help you but unfortunately I am not. I do wish you all the best, however. Both work wise, and here.”

And I rejected his friend request.

Next message from him, an hour or so later: “Your not going to add me as a friend here?”


Then ANOTHER message, an hour after that:

“Do you any colleagues who may be helpful.

I appreciate your thoughts but you can understand this is a site about sex and relationships and I am sort humbled by asking a stranger for help … Please understand how difficult that is.”

And again, an hour after that:

“I hope I have not upset or offended you ..

I guess I just need someone to talk to as an understanding friend.

And, he sent me another friend request. Now, I’m definitely not responding to him. But I’m torn as to whether to block him.  Is this super creepy or just sad?


Postscript: I declined his friend request, but he didn’t stop. He sent me another two emails over the next two days. Finally I just had to block him. How could I not?

0 thoughts on “Fet Life Flouder No. 4 | The Job Seeker

  1. If getting responses makes u feel sad or upset for whatever reason, block him. He sounds like a nice man who is down on his luck, but I’m guessing he may have some serious issues.

  2. Blocking was the right thing. He doesn’t understand appropriate behavior for the situation, and doesn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. I can imagine the employment reference form where you would have to answer the question, “how do you know the applicant?” and would have to say “Fet Life friend.”

  3. Your crewel to him and then your blocking him? Thats just crewel and unyewsual punisment.

    I have job. Pick me.

    (PS… Blocking him was definitely the right thing to do. “Your” and “you’re” is a deal breaker for me no matter how you spell pique. Too many brackets is not.)

    • Oh the spelling horror.

      And yeah, I dislike bad spellers…but certainly on WordPress since they haven’t updated their iPhone app to autocorrect since the new iOS, I have to be forgiving (and ask for forgiveness).

      And glad you agree about the blocking. Ugh.

  4. He had to be blocked for sure. But, perhaps he cannot find employment because he doesn’t understand the your/you’re difference. I wouldn’t hire someone who wrote that on an application. Sounds like he would benefit from medication.

  5. Do you require FetLife candidates submit applications as a prerequisite to meet you? Maybe he was just confused as to which information he needed to provide. 😉

    Perhaps he was looking for some sympathy sex? 😀

    • Thanks for that laugh. Hardly. All I said is that people shouldn’t just friend request me without sending me a message first :/

      I have no idea what he wanted (other than a job, obviously), but he wasn’t going to get it from me!

      • The guy clearly has personal boundary issues (for himself) and hasn’t quite figured out. Desperation or simply no understanding of the most appropriate networking activities for the applicable resources?

        I keep going back to the idea that he forgot the difference between employment and blow job. 😀

  6. A vast majority of my internet interactions are incredibly depressing…and sometimes sort of funny too. I’m not on Fetlife but my site here offers a large assortment of weirdos. The photos and names they chose to represent themselves speak loudly enough…I guess it takes a lot of vegetables to make a good soup. Or something like that.

    And then again, if it weren’t for the internet, I don’t know how I would meet new potential suitors at all. Hélas.


    • OMG “vegetables to make a good soup”… love it 🙂

      I think sometimes it’s easy to think that this world reflects real life. I submit that the nature of this environment attracts those with a reason to be anonymous.

      At least I can write about the depressing / funny. when I’m thinking “sheesh”, I’m also thinking “well at least I can write about it 😉

      What about you?

      • That’s a good point. It’s quite fascinating really. It is a world that I knew nothing about up until about two years ago. Blogging was a huge part of that process….getting to where I think I need to be. Sometimes I’m not so sure I have arrived. I don’t really even know what I’m searching for now….

        I have written about people I’ve met that way but not really too much about all the funny / depressing ones I never did meet. Nor want to! Ha! 🙂

          • It’s amazing to feel so close to people so far away.

            When a friend asked why I didn’t write a blog, the idea had never crossed my mind. Really I never expected anyone to read what I was writing. I can’t say I’ve made that much progress but I have moved ahead because of writing, and especially because of people I meet here. It makes you wonder, had we been born one hundred years ago, how would we have been able to express ourselves, to rewrite our own stories? Sometimes it feels trendy to me, but then again I see no other way to dig my way out.

          • You and I are very similar in that regard. It was a friend who suggested I start to write. Like you, I never really thought anyone would ask (and remember being excited when I had 10 readers!)

            I suspect our lengthy diaries would end up being published, 100 year ago. Or we’d be writing pamphlets, or hosting salons 😉

  7. As everyone has been saying, as you knew without even asking, blocking him was the right thing to do. But, Jesus, this took me back. I worked for an asset management firm that imploded in the recession and I was laid off. That no-job desperation washed over me again. You’d ask total strangers–the devil himself–for help if it meant finding employment. Dark days.

    • Well and that is what I felr bad about…it is a terrible thing. I did check out his LinkedIn profile…and had he not been so creepy about it (or asked me right way) I may have considered at least giving him some advice.

  8. I’m sorry to say that the fact that he can ask a virtual stranger for help finding a job (on a fetish site!) and the repeated, unwanted contact after you politely put the kibosh on the interaction leaves me with no doubt on why this gentleman can’t find a job. He is painfully lacking in an understanding of social cues – which, of course, makes those he tries to interact with feel awkward and uncomfortable. Of course you did the right thing blocking him.

  9. That is hilarious! Job seeking on Fetlife. The truth is stranger than fiction. If he likes spanking you could suggest he look for a job as a cross-dressing dominatrix. He’s probably not over-qualified for that.

What do you think?