There's just too much naughty; I'm falling behind.

Wednesday night I met the Dog Trainer with the suspiciously small asset. Despite having walking pneumonia I thought I would be up to a short visit one night after my son went to sleep. Turns out I was a bit ambitious and it was actually more than I could handle. Live and learn (side note: I find myself saying that a lot lately).

Normally I wouldn’t meet a guy for the first time at my place, but given how much we had spoken and the various ways I triangulated his real identity, I wasn’t all that concerned.

He’s a BIG guy. Tall (6’2″) and bulky (250 lbs)… a bit of a stomach but gee, who am I to complain. He is just large. Literally, his hands are the largest I’ve ever seen on a man. If I can manage it I will take a pic comparing our hands just so you can see. The moment I saw his hands I thought “oh, maybe his cock isn’t that small after all”.

He drank wine and I drank water. We talked. He showed me some of his photography portfolio and we talked about the photographs on my walls which I took. He critiqued my stuff like he knew what he was talking about. He made no fast moves. At one point though, he was on a stool in my kitchen and I backed into him and he put his hand on my ass (seriously, it almost covers an entire cheek), and then moved it to my waist and put the other down my pants and well, it just went from there.

He is not the best kisser, but he’s good. But good lord, those hands. I love a strong and tall guy and he totally fits that bill. He put me up against a few walls on my main floor, and I just grabbed on to this shoulders or arms as he made me go weak in the knees with his ministrations.

We moved to the couch. He told me to lay down. And then proceeded to make me cum oh I dunno, 6 times maybe? We did NOT have sex (I promised Savannah I wouldn’t). He did it all with his fingers. At one point he stood up, took off his pants, kept his fingers inside me and stood up next to me so I could put his cock in my mouth. Based on that, I can report back that there is some decent girth. I’m giggling as I write that.

I’m not really good at multitasking so it was a challenge for me to cum, squirt, try not to hack up a lung, try not to scream so loud I woke my kid, and give a good blow job. It really tried my skill set.

He did not try to have sex with me.

This dude has got some kinks. He wanted me to play with myself while laying on the couch, and he watched and masturbated. Okay, sure. I had already had a few orgasms so I was content to do that. I know men are far more visual than women, but it still always makes me feel a little weird.

He knew I was capable of squirting (when he found out he was all cute, saying “oh I love squirty girls!”) and I’m sure was pleased he was able to make me squirt. I probably would have more if not for the sickness and upstairs presence of my child.

He left after midnight and I crashed really hard.

So, here’s my take after the marathon conversations and our first face-to-face meeting. He’s easy enough to be around. We definitely can talk and laugh and those are really good things for me. He’s also into me, which is nice. He’s not a player who wants to have multiple women around, although he could play with others. In a situation where there are multiple men, he wants to do the directing of the action.

Physically, it’s not a slam dunk, as one of my good friends would say. I’m attracted to him and I do like bigger guys, so those things are positive. He turns me on. He for sure knows how to make me cum. But there was something a little off – just not an excellent connection on what we want and how we choose to get it.

The other thing, though, is that I think he’s more dominant and more kinky than I am comfortable with. For example, we were texting about some sexual stuff earlier in the day and he asked me where I like men to cum. Cumming on my face came up. I said no, I don’t let anyone do that. He was peeved. I said that I have NEVER let a man cum on my face. I found it to be too much of a porn cliché and a bit degrading. But I also said perhaps someday I might, would really depend.

He asked how can I think that is degrading but having sex with 5 men isn’t? I explained that my wanting to have sex with multiple men isn’t degrading when it’s my choice and I’m in control (to a point) of the situation. Then he said that he would be the one wanting to direct the situation. So in his mind, it’s about me being submissive.

Back to the time on the couch. When he was masturbating he asked where he could cum – I said anywhere except my face. He was peeved. When I reminded him of our earlier conversation he just said well sometimes we do things we don’t like because our partner does.

I can honestly say it was hard to not have the visceral response I had that show on my face. In my opinion, it’s way to early to start playing that card. Right now, I need my boundaries respected, thank you very much.

It’s hard to put a finger on all the things right now, but I feel unsettled by the dynamic. There is no fucking way someone is going to boss me around. I am fine to have someone be rough with me in the bedroom, tell me what to do (to a point), and dominate. But take that out of the bedroom? No. Fucking. Way.

I haven’t written him off yet, but we will see how the next few conversations go.

Dog Trainer Part 3

0 thoughts on “There's just too much naughty; I'm falling behind.

    • I hear you – that was also my reaction…something along the lines of – wait a minute, you are here, reveling in the awesomeness that is me (cough, cough), and you are complaining ALREADY?

      But yes, all was not lost.

  1. Hmmm, I don’t like this one. Someone wants to come on your face upon your first meeting? I don’t think so. I have NEVER let that happen and honestly, while Adam and I joked about it, it was just that….a joke. No one has ever really been pissy about me not wanting a face full of cum. You’re right, it is degrading and porn-y. Yuck.

    • I’m writing the next post about him right now – and yes, there is definitely not a great fit. But interestingly, he’s actually moving too quickly from a relationship perspective…that’s what has me more freaked out right now.

      • Yes that’s another red flag. You’ve been through enough drama lately. And he certainly doesn’t seem like the right fit for you. Let him down nicely, but move on to greener pastures before this takes up more of your time and mental energy. There has to be someone decent for you to date. Where the heck do you live, Siberia!?!

        • Dating Siberia it feels like sometimes!! But nope, I’m in a big city.

          After the second time I saw him I’m pretty sure he’s not right for me. I just need to call him and tell him but that’s the last thing I want to do right now 🙂

      • Damn…Ann! This doesn’t feel like he’s moving to deeper relationship AT ALL! He sounds like a very good manipulator and he’s found what he thinks is a willing participant.

          • Can you sense that I am not looking forward to that? Do I need to head to your house and vett these men first?

          • I’ll track him down and get him redirected to you. Is there something else you needed him for?

          • There’s lots I need but not that I’d take from a friend’s husband lol. Although he could help with some odd jobs around the house… and not, that’s not a euphemism for anything!!

          • I suppose that would depend on the friend and what she was willing to give. 🙂

            Will is good around the house and can help you with your non-euphamism jobs. He’s pretty handy with running interference (he did learn how to subdue combative people with his hands in the military) with Dog Trainer and some of these other presumptuous men. 😉

          • Oh I’m trying to be a Mom and feed my kid. Also just did some online shopping at lego.com and now writing my next post on Dog Trainer.

            But no, I don’t have my damn coffee!

          • You are a loving mom! You don’t need to “try”…and I think that our family single-handedly financed the creation of Lego.com.

  2. Wow, you made a promise to me! 🙂

    How is it that when I suck on Will’s cock or he fingers me and both of us cum, it “feels” like sex? I mean, sure, his cock isn’t inside of my kitty, but FUCK, it sure feels good!? All this time, I thought we were having sex. 😉

    I get the big hands thing. WI’ll is 6-4 but he’s thin (70 pounds less than Mr. Dog Trainer) when I am on top, Will can hold my ass with ease, move and lift me like a toy! Big men are amazing! I don’t have anything to compare Will to, but his cock is bigger than I can manage with just minimal pain.

    • To you and me, actually. But yes.

      Well, I get it that it’s part of sex. I think the distinction only matters before you’ve actually done anything. So it’s the ultimate act…and so it matters to me if I haven’t done it yet with someone. Even if we do everything else.

      • I understand that and we are individuals with our own guiding boundaries. 😉

        I appreciate your promises and that you keep them. 🙂

    • Exactly my thoughts Savannah!
      Ann, you promised no sex yet there you are, having multiple orgasms with a man ready to cum somewhere on you (and yes, I get it that *where* is really an issue here!). Sorry, but to me, it’s like the kid saying I didn’t eat any candy, I only licked a lollipop!
      Well, at least it wasn’t unpleasant, so that’s that. 🙂

      • Hmm… I read Savannah’s “you made a promise to me” differently lol …

        But honestly, there is a difference in my mind. Minor or not. So I kept the promise I made to myself (and Savannah).

        • Yes, I understand. We have different notions, maybe because Savannah and I have such a limited experience with men. To me, getting naked in front of someone is already sort of having sex (unless it’s in a sauna in Germany, that’s the way everyone does it 😉 ).
          So getting their fingers in my lady parts? Yep, that’s definitely sex!
          But I can understand that it’s different for you 🙂

          • Yup, for me it was at least having *something* that I hadn’t done with him. I held something back. So whether it was still sex but not all the kinds of sex, that’s another discussion entirely 🙂

            And every time I write about it I think of Bill Clinton saying “I did not have sex with that woman” and all the subsequent debate whether oral sex was sex.

      • Ann, it looks like I was sarcastic about your promise. I was being very genuine. You made promise and I very much respect that you did (and according to your boundaries, you upheld that). I just had different expectations and that is entirely on me.

  3. He’s a dom and you’re a bottom. Not a complete mismatch but he should keep things a little more lighthearted.

    Being a dom, he should know that people will only submit to those they trust and respect. No matter what title you are, its all about consent. If you don’t know him well enough, don’t yet completely trust/respect/want to sacrifice your values then don’t. Stand your ground, he should know better.

    And fyi, I’ve had cum shot on my face maybe 3 times? And 2 of those resulted with cum in my eye (one I had peeked a look at the WRONG moment and the other must have dripped into my eye even though they were closed) so its not exactly an opportunity I’d jump at again. It stings so freakin bad.

    Last time it happened, bf took a photo of my red eye that could barely stay open and sent it to our guy friends with the caption “she said she liked pirates so I turned her into one” LOL! It was a funny accident but still, kind of ruins the mood so avoid it if you can 😉

    • You know, from the conversations I’ve had with Andrew and reading online, I have come to the conclusion that yes, I am a bottom and not a sub. I guess I should have just asked you.

      When I said to Dog dude last night that I was a bottom not a sub he laughed and said “who the hell told you there was a difference”? I didn’t really bother responding because I know there is a difference.

      I couldn’t agree more that he should know better.

      And yeah, truth be told I can’t ever see willingly having someone cum on my face. I’m glad at least the last time you could have some fun with it. Ugh.

      • I asked Will to cum on my face and HE won’t do it. Reading about the irritation, I am rethinking my request.

          • I love the advice you girls have for me. A year ago, you wouldn’t believe where I was. Now, the wonderful corruption you are leading me toward is so delicious!

          • Well Savannah, I’m glad to see you don’t count me as corrupting you 😉
            I had a man come on my face once. He was sort of dominating me (I didn’t know at the time what it was but I liked it) and eventually asked me to open my mouth and came over my face. I can’t say I didn’t like it 🙂
            But I guess I felt completely comfortable with the guy, I knew he respected me for everything else that I was outside of a bedroom. And it was the last time I was ever going to see him. At least for the foreseeable future. But I never knew that having someone come on your face was supposed to be a sign of submission or could be felt as degrading. It really came about quite simply and though it felt strange to be asked that, I never felt disrespected in the least. I don’t know, I guess I’m just weird 😉

      • As far as I know – Bottoms like a partner who takes charge in the bedroom but will still feel in control.
        Subs like a partner who takes charge but give up control to their dom. They still have one bit of control (through use of a safeword) but will do whatever they can to please their dom. Its not just restricted to just the bedroom like a bottom.

        I wouldn’t have known about subs so much except with DD I did all those things. Absolutely willingly and of my own accord. I have so much trust and respect for him that he could tell me to kiss his shoes in public and I would. Which sounds ridiculous (even to me!) because I’m so confident and into equality but damn, I just want to do everything for him. Its weird but it just feels right. Turns out i have different types of relationships with different people!

        With DD, under sub, I fit into the side category of LG (little girl) because he’s older, looks after me, cares for me, does things for me, gives me little rules like saying gnite every night etc. Its a bit more cutesy than straight sub.

        With the bf I realised I was topping from the bottom (he was controlling the sex but I was trying to control it too). I didn’t trust his ability which wasn’t fair. Now he’s a happy top and turning into more of a kinky dom 🙂

        I swear, learning about bdsm and kinks is such a mind explosion hahaha its a biiiiig world out there and although I normally dislike the idea of categorising yourself, in this respect it helps you understand more about yourself and your relationships with others, which I’ve found very helpful. Pretty interesting stuff!

  4. You’re comment ” it really tried my skill set” totally cracked me up. I’m so impressed by a woman who can cum like that when it’s such a difficulty for me.

    He is a big guy but as long as he’s not flabby and you’re not uncomfortable…I’m with you cause I like a big guy too.

    Some of his behavior is kind of strange best you keep an eye on it but if it was good enough the first time no reason not to see how it plays out!

    • The first time I saw him I’d been on the antibiotics for 72 hours which is what you need before you stop being contagious. And I told him full on what I had. He said he had a strong constitution 🙂

  5. I’m just going to echo some other comments here: I would not feel comfortable with him being that pushy, especially upon first meeting you. That doesn’t bode well for future encounters. At least you got a little fun out of it though! And does he really believe there is no difference between a sub and a bottom? I think you should send him some literature on the topic!

  6. No way…not your style! Lose him now.

    However, if you kept him around for longer I wouldn’t mind because this post made me laugh my ass off. I literally think I can skip my ab exercises for today. 🙂 So thanks for that!

    • “He’s a BIG guy. Tall (6’2″) and bulky (250 lbs)… a bit of a stomach but gee, who am I to complain. He is just large. Literally, his hands are the largest I’ve ever seen on a man.”
      —-I can see your face describing this.

      “Based on that, I can report back that there is some decent girth.”
      ——–I was giggling with you.

      “I’m not really good at multitasking so it was a challenge for me to cum, squirt, try not to hack up a lung, try not to scream so loud I woke my kid, and give a good blow job. It really tried my skill set.”
      ———This sounds like a challenge only YOU could handle.

      Also…who uses the words “ministrations” seriously? Dear god this post was funny.

  7. wow, look at the comments on this one! You really make a good point. There is a line. I’m the kinda gal that once it’s crossed, I know you don’t respect me and I’m done. You are too good a woman to be taken advantage of. Don’t ignore your gut. I think you need to listen to your audience as well. We want you safe when having fun. I can tell you from experience if you want details about the gut feeling I didn’t listen to and the consequences the guy unleashed on me.

  8. I’m with everyone else on this. No matter how I felt about a guy coming on my face (and it was a special guy, I may have reacted differently with someone else!), if you told him once you didn’t like it, told him twice you didn’t want it and then he tries to make you feel bad about it after the first encounter? Lose him. He’s a controlling bully, not a dom. If he were, he’d earn your respect before asking you to do anything that may make you uncomfortable!
    I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s post!
    🙂

  9. I’m not going to say lose him now. Or dump him. Or anything else.

    Just be on your guard.

    Hold your ground and don’t let him manipulate you into anything you are not willing to do.

    Otherwise enjoy what he’s offering and learn a bit about yourself.

    If you feel at any point that he’s not going to respect your boundaries then pull the plug.

    There is no way you should be playing with anyone that can’t respect you as a human.

    <3 xox

  10. Sounds like initially, a really fun time, but trying to get you to do things you are not into is a bit shit. I disagree with him that sometimes people should do things they aren’t really into cause their partner wants them to. I couldn’t really enjoy something if I knew the whole time my lover was uncomfortable.

    • Yes! Same here. Those kinds of things are not what I consider part of the reasonable sacrifices one makes.

      I dunno. I’m sure I can come up with exceptions, but it felt really damn early to have that conversation the first time we’d met in person.

  11. The fuck!! Yeah no, I can see why you’d be uncomfortable with him. That’s not just a kink dynamic thing, that’s a coercive thing. I do not trust dudes who try to coerce me into doing things I’m not comfortable with. Yes, there are areas that are more “maybes” than strict “nos” but those areas are to be explored with a partner where you have some level of trust. And Mr. Dog Walker here was being pissy in hopes that would get you to turn your no into a maybe. That is a definite warning sign, and he is NOT someone to be trusted in exploring boundaries or new play. A good top will not push a hard no.

    • EXACTLY. The thing for me is that his behaviour was seeming to bleed outside the bedroom. And even as Andrew (and others) have said, any real Dom knows that trust has to be built up.

      And that’s the thing, as you said. Someone who seemingly is a bit grey with my boundaries right away is not someone I feel totally comfortable with. Now, we did see each other again and he wasn’t as ass-hat-y as I thought he might be…but still…

  12. I’m not sure I’d regard wanting to watch you masturbate as kinky, (though obviously one person’s kink is another persons depraved perversion). I think most men would be happy to do that – we see women masturbating in porn and watching our partner do it is a logical progression.
    I agree with you about cumming on your face – when I see that in porn, I don’t like it. Tits: yes. Arse: actually, not really. Face: definitely no. But again I don’t think that’s particularly kinky.
    Where I do think you’re absolutely right is about his comment that you should do it because he wants it. This is just my opinion, and feel free to ignore it, but if i were you I’d walk away now. At this stage, that smacks of a lack of respect for women and could so easily be a step on a slippery slope to somewhere it sounds like you don’t want to go.
    Stay safe.

  13. I am the same when it comes to coming on my face. I could agree to that, only if I was in love and it was my partner’s fantasy. And I would probably do it once every blue moon.
    I don’t think it’s right for him to insist on that after he just met you. It is a bit disrespectful.

What do you think?