A sexual lunchbox letdown & realising the word is small

I’ve been in a better place the latter part of this week. I was able to reset my expectations and get my brain into a better place. There are two things I want to share about my Friday and Saturday night plans:

1) The Lunchbox Letdown

Friday night I had a girls night out. We drank martinis and got caught up in each others lives and laughed until we cried – literally.

I had also arranged to meet someone after being with my girlfriend. Dan is someone I met at a bar. He drove me home that night, I made him coffee, we made out, and had quick, drunken, uninteresting sex.

There were a few things I liked about Dan. He seemed to be a kind soul. He volunteers his time as a sports coach for children, even though he has none of his own. What IΒ really liked about Dan was his body. Tall, with massive arms and a big chest. I’ve mentioned a few times I’m a sucker for big arms.

Until Friday night, Dan and I had only seen each other once after our first encounter. We had dinner and drinks and that was it – not even a good make out session. That, plus not hearing from him afterwards? I figured he didn’t like me when he was sober.

I reached out to him earlier this week because he fixes cars for a living and I knew he could recommend someone to me for a repair I’ve been putting off – it’s something I know nothing about and I really didn’t want to get screwed on the repair. There was a part of me curious to see if he would respond, but I had zero expectations that my text would result in a date.

I will admit I was reasonably aggressive in my pursuit, after he said he didn’t respond because he lost his phone (which I doubt, but I know it does happen). I asked him if he was free late Friday night and we planned to meet at my place. Absolutely it was a hook up, and I was okay with that. In my mind, it was exactly what I needed.

So, he came over just before midnight. I made him a coffee (it’s his thing) and we sat in my kitchen and talked. He expressed sincere concern about Will being gone and the impact on me. I started to get frustrated, however, because he hadn’t made any physical move. But obviously he was interested, because why else would he come over at midnight on a Friday night with a woman he’d not expressed a whole lot of interest in before?

I asked if I could kiss him. He said yes. We are well matched kissers. He has great, strong hands….the kind that make me feel small when he has both of them around my waist. He is the physical opposite of Andrew and I enjoyed the contrast.

He asked me to take him upstairs, which I gladly did. It was a slow, heated buildup. Slow undressing, kissing, hands roaming everywhere. I took my time with him. Until I couldn’t wait anymore and lowered myself on top of him. I can pretty much always make myself cum on top of a man, even if he has no skill whatsoever.

Here’s the lunchbox letdown: he’s not that great a lover. Which was even more disappointing because he had all the required criteria for me, and it was, well…not great. He didn’t know the right way to thrust, to get deep, or to go fast without that silly jackrabbit move some men do.

I showed him a really good time. I paid a lot of attention to him, for a long time. He quite liked it. It seems he’s able to keep going for quite a while, to get hard again with stimulation. Sigh.

Now, I sent him a nice “thank you” text the next morning, and haven’t heard back again. At the very least I want that recommendation for my car. And perhaps another chance with him in bed – to see how he takes instruction. But I’m not holding my breath at the latter.

2) The World is Small

Saturday night a close friend came over to our place with her children. I haven’t seen her in over a month and we seriously needed to catch up. While our children played, she asked me for the full debrief on what happened with Johnny, which I gave her.

I also then proceeded to tell her about Andrew – how we met (threesome with two bi men), where we stand today (seeing each other on a regular basis), and how I feel (not sure he’s a relationship match, he’s a mature and careful guy, but his caution can sometimes feel like rejection).

She asked if she could see a picture. I pulled it up and the moment I showed her she immediately put her face in her hands.

Oh. Shit.

My two thoughts were – oh my god is he actually in some serious relationship, and oh my god were / are they lovers?


Turns out they went to high school together. They have mutual friends still. She thinks he is amazing – he’s always been mature, he’s a stand-up guy, he’s honest and considerate and kind, etcetera. It was reassuring to hear, frankly.

We had a good giggle about the whole thing. I felt a little bad about sharing so much with her, but I know I can trust her.

Of course I told Andrew about it, both by text and during a phone call later that night. He asked whether she knew how we met – and I confirmed that there was more I told her than I would have, had I known she knew him. He joked that he was known as a bit of a slut – which I told him not to worry about because I was as well. He didn’t seem bothered about her knowing.

So, that’s where we are today. We still have a date planned where hopefully Jason will join us, and we will try to see each other before that, but who knows if we can make it work.

This week, I have an overnight in another city for a big party for work. Turns out that the colleague I had whisky-dick sex with will also be there that night. He still has a girlfriend. I think I need to stay away from him (probably impossible) so as not to make a complete fool of myself. I definitely don’t want to hit on him, just to be rejected. But it will make for an interesting evening no matter what.

I will for sure let you know about it.


Image Source: http://pixie-rings.deviantart.com

0 thoughts on “A sexual lunchbox letdown & realising the word is small

  1. When she recognized him for a second I thought maybe she was the FWB gal, I’m glad they just went to HS together. Hopefully your next girls night can end in more spectacular sex. I, too, am a sucker for arms. I was just thinking about that this morning since I had gotten a text from a guy I lovingly refer to as Hunky McHardbody. He lives in a different time zone now so his text was way too early for me to answer it but man I miss that guy. He had the lips of an angel, which is good, because his penis was teeny tiny but he still managed to be great in bed. Oh and those abs…is it hot in here all of a sudden? I’m feeling warm lol.

    • Oh, I wasn’t worried she was his FWB, as I know his FWB’s age (10 years younger than me), her name, and the fact that she is single…my friend is married and my age. But it was still a moment of panic!!

      I haven’t really had spectactular sex in a couple of weeks and it’s really irritating.

      It’s amazing how some guys with tiny parts can be good in bed. And how some with great parts don’t seem to be able to do anything with it. Sigh.

      • I hate it. I’d like not to have to be an instruction manual. I think the worst for me is the guys that are all “do you like that, is that ok, are you ok, does that feel good?” Like sssshhhhh, talk dirty or don’t talk at all but asking me if I’m ok every five seconds just makes me want to stop. I feel like there are ways to tell if your woman is enjoying what you are doing that do not include asking her every five seconds. It takes away from any pleasure you might actually be having if you have to stop and talk about your feelings. Just fuck me already! Ugh.

  2. You never know what life has in store, do you, Ann?
    Sorry about the sexual let-down and the blast from the past. At least you’re still positive about what the future holds.
    Be well, my dear, dear friend.

    • I had to read your comment several times because I couldn’t figure out what “WD” was!! I finally got it. I will write about it but I’m not expecting much drama. I’m going to try to stay away because I don’t want to make a fool out of myself, really.

      • Sorry I should have clarified-ha! And yes, I think staying away is probably on the cards. Then again, your sex life seems to be very interesting so perhaps there could be a round two–just sayin! Anything is possible πŸ™‚

        • No, no apologies necessary – it made me giggle when I figured it out. The first time I was reading quickly and just didn’t know what it meant. Took a few.

          Right now I’d give a lot to just have a sexy sex life – maybe not interesting – boring but hot with just one person would be really nice.

          But yes, there could be a round two. Although he has a girlfriend – a serious one, I think – and I’m not so sure I would want to go there anyway.

What do you think?