Dinner with a real gentleman

When I was on vacation, I had dinner with a friend whom I used to work with. I met him when I met Faraway Lover, but we were always just friends.

Out of the group of ten of us, half are now split from our spouses.

Anyway. As I think about how shitty some of my experiences have been dating, it was nice to know that there are men out there who really, truly, know how to treat a woman.

My friend is a consummate gentleman. He also happens to be very affectionate. But honourable.

The short version of our dinner date:

He came to pick me up. There was no question he was driving.

He chose to take me to an area he thought I would like to visit. He didn’t play any of the “what do you want to do?” games. He made a decision based on knowing what he did about me and what I liked.

He put his hand on the small of my back as we walked through the hotel lobby, opened the door and let me pass.

When the car was brought by the valet, my date opened (and closed!) my car door for me.

He said thank you to the valet and tipped him.

When we arrived at our destination, he asked if I was hungry yet or if I was okay to visit the museum ehe often frequented. I chose the latter, but unfortunately it was closed.

There was a beautiful full moon out. I could not have asked for a better evening.

We had drinks at a Mexican restaurant. He offered to get snacks. We talked. Took turns. He listened. He provided feedback. We are both in the same situation except that he and his ex don’t get along nearly as well, and he doesn’t see his children as much as he wants.

He told me stories of his recent broken heart, and I shared mine. We had moments of brief silence while we stared into our glasses.

He paid. There was no way he would take me up on my offer to pay.

He held my waist as we walked to our dinner destination. It wasn’t overtly sexual; just very nice. He is a good friend, and I leaned into him; enjoying the moment.

We chose an Italian restaurant. He knew the kind of table he wanted, and very courteously asked the hostess. He got what he wanted.

More conversation, more comparisons between men and women, more laughs, more reminiscing.

Prior to the date, I did wonder whether he would try to get physical. I didn’t think he would, but as we are now single and enjoy each other’s company, it was a possibility. I didn’t particularly want to – I have enough complication in my life right now. And as I said, he’s a very honourable man.

We didn’t go there. The end to this story is not some hot sex on the beach. The end of this story was a nice hug, kiss on the cheek, and an early bedtime. Perhaps I skyped with Andrew that night – but it didn’t matter. The gentleman proved me to me what dates, and men, can be like.

0 thoughts on “Dinner with a real gentleman

  1. I have a friend, that’s a former colleague as well, that lives in London. I enjoy our annual dinner in his hometown for the same reasons you listed here. An honorable man and a dear and good friend, with manners and grace. Glad you shared a lovely evening with a trusted friend.

  2. I like this guy. What I cannot understand is the reason that you felt compelled to blog about him. What I mean by that is that you obviously enjoyed being treated (cared about with such consideration and forethought) as you (any woman) should, with rrspect, dignity and class. I was essentially raised by my mother who taught me how to be towards women. Not only does Savannah warrant and deserving of such attention, but so is any other female. Perhaps this is why the majority of my friends are of female?

    I can’t imagine not being gentlemanly towards a woman.

  3. It is a wonderful feeling to be taken care of like this, to have someone put thought into “you” and the experience they are about to share with you. It doesn’t need to be romantic or even sexual for a man to make us feel good. So happy you had this evening with your friend. 🙂

    xo

  4. There are still a few men out there with manners (I like to think that I am one of them, but only my actions towards others can decide that). Fortunately you have found one that is available and I doubt this will be the last entry in your blog about him.

    My feelings on manners: It is amazing (or should I say frustrating) to me is that something that is so easy to do is practiced by so few. Especially here the Northeast of the US.

    I hope you don’t mind a comment about some of the other issues you have posted about. Coming from a man, it’s OK for you to be needy, wanted to be desired and the center of attention as long you communicate these things. At the same time you should get the same in return, (communication of needs, wants and expectations) regardless if it a exclusive relationship or not. It helps to eliminate the guessing games, stress and anxiety, which I’m sure you have enough of from other parts of you life (I know i do). Judging from your previous posts and the limited insight they provide of your thoughts and feelings, I think you know this already…

    Anyway, I enjoy your blog… best of luck!

    ~Coop

    • Well he’s a friend only. I met him through work. And he lives very far away from me. So I may see him again the next time I am in his location, but he’s not a relationship prospect.

  5. Hey, I know that guy! (figuratively, of course). He’s the one I’m dating, and confused me, because I hadn’t been with a guy like that before. I agree with you; they are few and far between, and hard to find. This is the kind of guy to whom I was referring in my comment to your last post — you deserve to be respected and adored by this kind of guy!

  6. There are men like this?

    Obviously they don’t breed them that way in Australia. But how interesting!

    I’m glad you had a nice evening Ann and that he reminded you that there are gentlemen out there!

  7. Awesome! If I were single…this is exactly how I would want to be treated. I would want a friend first! (but sometimes just the physical can be nice if that is what you want/need) I am a little old fashioned (and older than you) 🙂

  8. I dont know why I hadnt commented on this before…but hes a rare type these days. I know so because Im one of them as well ;). And thank you, its nice to see there are women out there who still appreciate guys like us.

    So many people hide behind a fake persona and eventually it all comes out that they are only interested because of your stable career, your retirement package, or how much can they bend and twist you to suit THEIR needs. If I was 20 again I wouldnt care…Id have plenty of years ahead to figure it out. Now in my 30s, I was quite surprised to find women still playing games…and I feel spending a year or two with someone and finding out they were putting on an act….it feels like a huge waste of time. I know you’ve had the same issue when it comes to men…my apologies 🙂

What do you think?