When I was on vacation, I had dinner with a friend whom I used to work with. I met him when I met Faraway Lover, but we were always just friends.
Out of the group of ten of us, half are now split from our spouses.
Anyway. As I think about how shitty some of my experiences have been dating, it was nice to know that there are men out there who really, truly, know how to treat a woman.
My friend is a consummate gentleman. He also happens to be very affectionate. But honourable.
The short version of our dinner date:
He came to pick me up. There was no question he was driving.
He chose to take me to an area he thought I would like to visit. He didn’t play any of the “what do you want to do?” games. He made a decision based on knowing what he did about me and what I liked.
He put his hand on the small of my back as we walked through the hotel lobby, opened the door and let me pass.
When the car was brought by the valet, my date opened (and closed!) my car door for me.
He said thank you to the valet and tipped him.
When we arrived at our destination, he asked if I was hungry yet or if I was okay to visit the museum ehe often frequented. I chose the latter, but unfortunately it was closed.
There was a beautiful full moon out. I could not have asked for a better evening.
We had drinks at a Mexican restaurant. He offered to get snacks. We talked. Took turns. He listened. He provided feedback. We are both in the same situation except that he and his ex don’t get along nearly as well, and he doesn’t see his children as much as he wants.
He told me stories of his recent broken heart, and I shared mine. We had moments of brief silence while we stared into our glasses.
He paid. There was no way he would take me up on my offer to pay.
He held my waist as we walked to our dinner destination. It wasn’t overtly sexual; just very nice. He is a good friend, and I leaned into him; enjoying the moment.
We chose an Italian restaurant. He knew the kind of table he wanted, and very courteously asked the hostess. He got what he wanted.
More conversation, more comparisons between men and women, more laughs, more reminiscing.
Prior to the date, I did wonder whether he would try to get physical. I didn’t think he would, but as we are now single and enjoy each other’s company, it was a possibility. I didn’t particularly want to – I have enough complication in my life right now. And as I said, he’s a very honourable man.
We didn’t go there. The end to this story is not some hot sex on the beach. The end of this story was a nice hug, kiss on the cheek, and an early bedtime. Perhaps I skyped with Andrew that night – but it didn’t matter. The gentleman proved me to me what dates, and men, can be like.