A little bit of this and that

I’m sick. I sound like Kathleen Turner, when my voice decides to grace me with its presence. The combination of a cold and sore throat, and five hours of talking above music, and two plane rides, has done me in. I feel like shit. Mentally and physically.

I am uninspired to write anything long. I need to sleep and the Faraway Lover story, while it remains unfinished, takes a level of intellect I feel I am lacking at this particular moment.

So, a couple of updates.

The highlight of the morning after the party was getting to spend an hour with one of my closest friends. She came to my hotel, coffee in hand, and we talked non stop. She hadn’t gotten an update on Johnny or Andrew and I hadn’t heard the latest about her children or marriage. We’ve made plans to see each other hopefully for a weekend in January and that will be most excellent.

Andrew and I have not seen each other since last week. Being sick and having misaligned schedules did not help. He really isn’t great at keeping in touch, other than a phone call randomly at some point during the day – during which I suppose we cover a day’s worth of texting.

Sometimes he will text to talk in the evening. Yesterday I had a nap at the hotel prior to the event. We had spoken on the phone just prior and I sent him a half naked selfie from the bed, with a “wish you were here”. I got a “mmmm me too” in response. That was it. Sigh. Why do I need more?

Although this morning he seemed different. Playful and a bit romantic, I think. Although re-reading his texts, I’m not so sure. Whaddaya think? I had sent him a text at 12:30am (when I had woken up to turn out the lights):

  • Me: Sorry to hear [he lost a bid on a house]. Did you at least have a good evening?

Then this morning, here was the exchange:

  • Him: So so, headache. Good morning, pretty girl.
  • Me: Good morning. This bed feels too big with just me in it.
  • Him: A single bed would be too big for you to be alone in.

Now. The snarky side of me wondered if this was a dig – as in, I’m going to feel alone no matter what. The optimist side thought maybe he was saying I should never be alone?

  • Me: Quite true. But I might not sleep as well with company in a single bed.
  • Him: Tentada via – the way must be tried.
  • Me [confused]: Well I would rather not sleep alone…
  • Him: Word up, yo! Feeling better?

We had a phone conversation. It was fun except for the lack of voice part.

And now, although we had a few texts back and forth today, I’m frustrated that I’ve heard nothing from him since 3pm. Is it too much to ask?

I realize I need more. I want to feel like someone is excited to see me, or misses me when I’m not around. His caution feels like rejection.

We are seeing each other overnight on Friday (without Jason, sadly – a repeat threesome is not going to happen) and I am thinking about what to say to him. I’m not sure I’m ready for exclusivity. The text from The Comedian earlier this week that simply said “I want to see you” made me happy. I want to see him too.

Perhaps at this point for me it’s less about having others, and just having enough (but not too much!) with one person. I think. But could I ignore temptation when it crosses my path? If this is all I would get from Andrew, even if we are exclusive, I don’t think it’s enough for me.

I need to write more about this quandary, obviously. But not right now. For now, I could use some help deciphering his text messages! And sleep. I need sleep.


P.S. I got a text from The Giant this evening that said he had put my books in the mail. I had texted earlier this week to say sorry for being a pain but I’d really like them back. He responded that he had been in the hospital for the past six weeks but would for sure send them. I don’t think I will believe it until they are back on my bookshelf.

0 thoughts on “A little bit of this and that

  1. He’s flirting. You are sick, I think perhaps this is his way of trying to cheer you up. Plus you are sick and out of town, so it’s safe for him to flirt a little because he knows you can’t ask to see him (I.e. Ask for more). I guarantee he is still crazy busy for work, that’s a relationship I doubt anyone can beat. Ann, I think he may be a great FWB for you but he may not be able to give you want you want in a real relationship. Like I wrote in my blog this week — Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

    • I really liked that quote and it definitely got me thinking!

      Yes, he’s super busy at work. But I’ve also been pondering whether anything would be different even if we chose to be exclusive. I mean, he doesn’t like to text, so I don’t think I would hear from him more often. Would I see him more often? Perhaps…

      I’m on the same page as you…he might be good for the occasional shag (even though I know he puts more effort into me than his FWB) but I’m simply not getting nearly close to what I want or need. I’m loathe to try to find someone new to date, given my time constraints, but it’s probably better to have nobody, than someone who is disappointing me. Right?

  2. Ok, two of my favorite bloggers are sick this week. Is there something going around through WP? I know that the two sick (meaning “ill” – get your minds out of the gutter) bloggers were chatting a bunch of the last few days. An entirely new meaning to the term, “Internet Virus?”

    Ann, get some rest. Relax. Have some tea. Take care of yourself!!

  3. Ann, I hope you get to feeling better! (my secret weapon against colds is orange juice by the gallon for vitamin c and zinc pills — it cuts the cold for me by at least a couple of days) I’m sorry for the frustration with Andrew, because I’m still rooting for him. I love the quote that MaggieMay shared in the above comments — I’ll need to remember that one.

    Get well soon 🙂

  4. I know what you mean. When you are used to getting a lot of attention with texts and messages and then you date a guy who doesn’t do that stuff, it feels like something is missing. I was used to all matter of sexting with my lover and then I started dating a new guy who was treating me well and seemed into me. I tried to get some sexting going with him but he was a man of few words who hated writing and preferred to talk on the phone. I would say something sexy or send him a cute pic and all he would say was “nice.” Even though I liked other things about him that aspect was really disappointing.

      • I had to realize that he was different than the guy that I dated in the past and he showed love in affection in a different way. I learned to tune into the rhythms of his signals, which were different. Yet he was also a really busy guy with a lot going on in his life and ultimately he didn’t really have enough space in to include me in a real way. This despite the fact that he was really excited about me at first and treating very well, taking me out on trips and to expensive dinners, bringing me to see his family etc. I mention this cause he was so busy with work and family and his ex wife that he really didn’t have the level of need for constant flirting and attention that a guy with less going on would. I think you will be happier with a guy who has a higher level of need for your attention in his life than Andrew to be honest.

        • I totally hear you. I have dated men for whom I am everything, and I don’t like that…it’s too much pressure and I can’t return the favor. But on the other extreme is men whose lives are already full. And that is appealing, but then they need to make room for me. I haven’t found the middle ground yet. And admittedly, I don’t feel all that “stable” myself yet. So it’s not a great time for me to state any firm requirements of what I am looking for.

          The reality is what I want, I don’t have time for. I’m still working through that conflict.

  5. “Word up yo!” omg…I died a little. We’re all dorks in the end I think. It all sounds very casual. If you want something more I don’t think he’d be a go for that at this point…but who knows really? Men are so confusing.

  6. My first thought after reading this was that you are needy, then I thought again about it and decided that you are right to want to feel desired and missed. I have a similar situation at the moment.I like the guy,but feel like he doesn’t keep in touch enough and I do want him to. I don’t want to break this thing off straight away, but I feel like I will need to do it.

What do you think?