A huge thank you to all of you.

I just wanted to interrupt my regularly scheduled posting to say THANK YOU.

Before Sunday, I knew that I had some dedicated and caring readers. There have been many of you that have supported me since the beginning of my journey and it has been amazing.

But I was not prepared for the outpouring (literally… 137 comments and climbing…) of support and guidance from my two posts about Andrew.

I’ve always said I like debate and to be challenged. I mean it. You have not let me off easy – your comments helped me realise there are things I haven’t written about (my current feelings about open vs. closed relationships, and why I felt differently about that in context with my relationship with Johnny), things I was unclear about (Andrew doesn’t think of me as an FWB), and that I am obviously hurting and a bit fucked up.

Whether from the trauma of my marriage, or the breakup with Johnny, or both, it just is what it is and I have to deal with it.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I am beyond humbled that you care and take the time to show it.

I’m going to write a post about what I want, which is what I’ve always wanted, deep down. My reactions to your questions and confusion about this has helped me understand where I’m good and where I’m still processing things. For example, some of you don’t believe that there is a middle ground between casual sex and a serious relationship. I’m going to explore this some more.

You may be wondering what has happened with Andrew? Nothing. He said he would call me yesterday then subsequently said he was caught up with work. Apparently he will call me today. We shall see.

So, I was sitting in bed this morning with a coffee, moping and feeling incredibly lonely. Then I got my head out of my ass and realised that one of the most unhealthy things I can do it rely on one person for everything. I’ve been in a funk and a fog for over a month. As of September 1 I’ve been a single parent, work exploded in the middle of September, and that was quickly followed by the shitstorm with Johnny. None of these are trivial.

In the absence of being in touch with my friends, I let myself get way too focused on Andrew. So, I reached out.

It took only one hour but now I have a ladies night this Friday night (dinner, drinks, dancing), have three upcoming play dates with girlfriends and their children, confirmed some attendees at a party I’m having in a few weeks, chatted with my half-brother, and responded to the Lawyer’s text of “when can I see you again?” (the answer: tonight after my son goes to bed).

I feel better now. Of course, I’m still experiencing the same mental shit I was earlier this week. I’m still puzzled as to what is going on with Andrew and know I need to have a conversation. But at least it’s not the focus of my attention.

So to my blog and real life friends: Thank You. From the bottom of my bruised and worn heart.


0 thoughts on “A huge thank you to all of you.

  1. I didn’t realize the full timeline between the J issue and everything else in your life. Yes, you definitely need to be gentle with yourself and look out to make you-time. I am glad you have a night out planned now! πŸ™‚

  2. You’re welcome my dear! πŸ™‚
    Sometimes just putting the information down one “proverbial” paper is good therapy but you have also had great feedback. You will get through this and remember… no matter what happens, you can learn and grow from any and all experiences! What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger (or so I have been told) If that is true, some of us should be able to see through walls and deflect bullets, right? πŸ˜€

  3. “…realized that one of the most unhealthy things I can do it rely on one person for everything.”

    This is a major, major realization! Ann needs to take care of Ann and be independent. How can you be good for your partner in a relationship when you are are not ready to give in order to meet his needs?

  4. You are a very smart woman, Ann. Congrats on stepping back, catching your breath and taking a hard look at things. Also, great job on making plans to step up your time spent with girlfriends. Since my separation and divorce, my friendships (both genders) have been my glue, rock, anchor, solace – you name it. You’ll get there, Ann, just remember it’s a journey with no end in sight.

    On Friday drink a glass of wine or even better a shot of tequila for me since my liver is still hating me. Cheers!!

  5. Woohoo for girls night. Wish I could join you! I think you’re right on the money by not putting all your happiness eggs in Andrews basket and that you should get out and enjoy yourself! Hopefully your girls night will yield some fun stories to regale us with!

  6. I totally agree that it’s a bad idea to rely on one person for everything. And it’s great you’ve got so many fun things lined up with your friends. You’ve got some great support, on this blog and out there in real life πŸ™‚

  7. Some girl time sounds like a lovely way to take a break from your mind. Which sometimes we need to do so our internal dialogue doesn’t suffocate us.

    πŸ™‚ xo

  8. You are seriously one of the kindest and most generous women I’ve ever “met.” I absolutely admire your spirit and your inner positive voice. I’ve been in a funk, too and like you, have decided to do something about it. How awesome to read your words and be able to reach beyond my own whining and be inspired. Thank you, Ann. xo

  9. I’m so happy to read this.
    Being dependent on one person has always been one of my problems. I am trying really hard not to let that happen again, not to let it change who I am any more.
    Hooray for Girl’s night out. I too have something scheduled, though since I work the next day, will have my kids at home and so on, it may not be as wild as I would have liked it, but hey, friends invited me out, and I sure as hell am going πŸ™‚

    Hope you enjoy your week and your time out πŸ™‚

      • No love, not at all!

        I think we all want and should get that! But I guess it comes down to how much you want this to go forward and what you actually want from him no? Is this anguish worth it?

        • I just finished tomorrow’s (or today, for you) post that gives an update. Will be up in 8 hours.

          I don’t think he can give me what I need, other than some good sex with multiple guys.

          The reality is that – at least I think – the beginning of a relationship should be fun and exciting. Not irritation and filled with anguish.

          Now I have to think about whether I want to open myself up to online dating / meeting new people (the horror) or just leave all men alone for a while, and have come casual and expectation-free sex when I can, with guys I already know.

          • Awwwww sweetie, I’m sorry πŸ™

            And I agree. The start of a relationship should be filled with fun and excitement.

            You know I’m fully with the taking time to heal yourself option. It’s a good thing to be able to do and keeping it casual for sex is probably a good step. You’ve been through the ringer and deserve to take care of yourself. Xox

  10. I LOVE this!!!! <3 …You're such a lovely blonde πŸ˜‰ So spunky and alive…so vivacious and intelligent! Have fun with all of these plans coming up. …getting carried away happens to the best of us. If we didn't get carried away we'd be boring as hell.

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