As I mentioned in a recent post, I’m not on the dating sites right now. My profiles are still down, but I never bothered to delete my Tinder account. I just haven’t been logging on or swiping in any direction, and there has been silence from the men I had matched with when I was on.
Until today. I got a “1 new message from Sasha” notice on my phone. Um, okay. I had no idea who Sasha is but I went in to look, and found this:
I almost spit out my drink. It was, without question, the shortest and quickest offer for sex I’d ever received. For the blissfully unaware, DTF means “down to fuck”.
The better part? His profile picture is him holding a female toddler (his niece). He has the largest biceps I’ve ever seen…and I’m a total sucker for arms. But seriously, really?
I did respond, of course. How could I not? I said:
It was actually a rather funny follow up conversation. I didn’t screen shot it, but it went like this:
- Me: Don’t need to ask you what you are seeking here.
- Him: Lol obviously sex with a hot older woman 🙂
- Me: Well I’m flattered, so thank you for that.
- Him: Youre welcome 🙂 r u interested
- Me: I really don’t want a one time thing
- Him: It wont be one time it will be daily 🙂
- Me: How many times daily?
- Him: Lol I can go all day and night 🙂
- Me: Be careful what you promise. Men have tried and failed to wear me out.
- Him: Lol so u wanna fuck?
- Me: I would meet for a coffee first.
For the record, I had no intention of meeting him for coffee, but I was testing a theory. As I figured, there was no response to that text.
As I said to someone after I became single, if someone won’t even invest the time to have a drink with me, there is no way they are getting access to my parts.