I succumbed to Tinder and it didn't disappoint in its disappointment

 

Yes, you read that right.

I have to pick myself up and dust myself off of the drama and sadness. I’m also finding myself, well, needing a certain something.

So, one recent day, I was really bored and needing a distraction. I also needed a male-attention-pick-me-up. I had just read a post on Tinder and remembered that many many months ago I had created a profile and abandoned it shortly after.

To the App store I went. Downloaded it and was surprised to see my whole profile was still there.

It’s kind of addictive…especially when the first few guys I “swiped right” were immediately matched to me. That was a nice, and surprising, thing.

But of course I knew the “oh this isn’t too bad, and is kind of fun” feeling wouldn’t last. It pretty much ended as soon as the first few messages started coming in.

First, I share with you someone who professed to be looking for something serious:

2 3

I couldn’t come up with a good enough comeback so I just blocked him.

And, as it turns out, just because a guy professes to be a “sapiophile” (which BTW is one of the most obnoxious terms you can include on your profile) it won’t stop him from opening with something sexual. Or having a profile that’s a topless bathroom selfie. Here was his opener:

saphiophile

 

And then there are the guys who say kind of dumb things. I suppose perhaps, sometimes it’s that easy?

you sound fun

Why, oh why, did I think this was a good idea?

0 thoughts on “I succumbed to Tinder and it didn't disappoint in its disappointment

  1. Ann, I have no envy of single people and what you have to deal with in order to meet others for dating or otherwise. I can imagine dealing with the challenges I’m trying to find mate or a date in today’s crazy and bizarre world of social media tools and dating apps. I’ve been married for more than 25 years and I haven’t dated as an adult. I’m nearly 50 years old I have no idea what it’s like to date and the idea , should I be in that position, scares me to death! What you posted only underscores my fear and what lies out there, waiting for my unsuspecting, unwitting eyes.

      • In the last 12 months, my outlook on things is greatly changed. My stepfather was diagnosed with stomach cancer and this was following the death of my sister in law who died after 16 months battle with ovarian cancer. Now I dread every check up or pain complaints that my wife has. She is the love of my life and I have no desires for any other human being to share my life with. I’m horrified to think that something could happen to her. Life is so fragile and I know that I cant walk around worrying about what’s going to happen. But look at my mother who is now widowed as of last spring, she also lost the love of her life and is left wondering what to do with her aloneness and her grieving at the young age of 68. So, sometimes I read post such as yours and the feelings come rushing back matched by the concern for my wife and I begin to ponder how miserable I would be in the same situation.

  2. Oh Ann. I had one guy open with something good along the lines that I should be honered that he would like to enrich my life with his awesomeness. I think that was the most obnoxious opening line yet.

  3. You’re awesome and that’s all I got to say about that.

    “but, based on what?”

    Because your intelligence just jumps off the page–even from the short texts. Perhaps this little distraction was a good reminder that so much more waits for you (sorry if you hate it when people say that!)

    • Aw, thanks honey. I won’t be silly and deny that I am smart (it’s one of the few things I will admit, under duress), but I’m not sure how it shows in my texts 🙂

      One thing is for sure – I have a much lower tolerance for shenanigans now. So I will probably engage with far fewer men, but that’s okay. It’s not like I have a lot of time to date anyway!!

      • It (your intelligence) just does! Especially when contrasted to the yahoos in same screen.

        Have a great week, my friend!
        I’m off to attempt productivity and be a good employee…in about 9 more minutes!

  4. Oh Tinder…hopefully you aren’t letting yourself match with the 20 somethings. Those men have THE worst conversation skills and grossest pickup lines. I like to think I can tell which those are, but then I’ll be sadly mistaken.

  5. Well, at least you are still young enough to tempt the masses, even if some will those their asses… hehe. Makes it easier for those of us with tired bones to realize that maybe single is meant to be at this age. Not that I feel I’ve been put out to pasture, but the choices are further between. Maybe ‘Tinder’ is an appropriate name, since it is generally used to start a fire. I’m thinking someone needs to start a group for us ancient ones, maybe call it “Coals”… 🙂

  6. I have decided to come to peace with being single for the rest of my life. No, really. It is much easier this way. I would likely not even get the amusingly bad pickup lines, just _______ (blank space).

  7. I had a guy I met on Tinder a couple of weeks ago. We were chatting for a while and he seemed like perhaps one of the few that might be interested in more than just a midnight hookup. So we went back and forth for a few days and he asked for my number. We started texting, and then it comes… “So do you want me to come over?” I laughed and responded, “Hardly. That is not what I am looking for.” But just to make him feel bad, I threw in, “But even if I was, I would feel kind of bad considering my two boys are sleeping right in the room next to me. I don’t think that would make me a good mother to invite a strange man into the home for sex.” Then he responded, “Well no hard feelings, but you are kind of far for dating.” I lived less than 20 miles from him. LOL So if I want to fuck, you can make the 20 mile trek to come see me, but if I actually want to go on a date, that is WAY too far for you. THEY ALL SUCK.

    • That is a totally lame rationale. I guess he was a bit strapped for ideas!

      I’m not sure which irritates me more; the ones who go straight for the sex talk, or the ones like you describe who make you think perhaps it’s not all about sex, and then -boom- there it goes.

    • It’s more entertaining only in that it’s transient. You also can forget the people you swiped right for, because they don’t sit there in a “favourites” list etc., taunting you because you know the guy has never responded. So it’s handy for that. Eases the rejection somewhat.

    • It is entertaining for a time. But there is only so much of it you can take before you get completely jaded as I have. Then you become harsh because you have no choice in order to protect yourself and you become viewed as having a negative attitude. In fact, you just want one guy – just one – to prove you wrong. It’s a doubled edged sword.

  8. Does tinder have a messaging service or was that your phone? One guy that I actually ended up on a date with was still texting me ridiculous things 3 months after our date – like “hey sexy mama” and “I want to **** your mouth”- after he said no more than 20 words on our 2 hour date.

    Hence the reason I date for sugar instead..! Lol

    • Tinder has a messaging service and you can only message one another if you both “swipe right”. Sometimes you get into a pattern and swipe right or left when you don’t mean to.

      I’m very cautious who I give my mobile number to now.

  9. You poor, poor, girl…
    You’re gorgeous, talented and open-minded. You’ll be fine in the long run. Anyone lucky enough to land you – even for a brief moment in time – can consider themselves blessed.

  10. Incredible how quickly and openly the guys came right out of the gate — the question about BJs took me aback. I suppose the take-away here is to not underestimate the rude forwardness of incredibly horny guys?

    • Or perhaps just the rude forwardness of lots of men who are dating online?

      It doesn’t shock me, anymore. Which is kinda sad. I expect everything now and have become quite the cynic.

  11. *giggle* I have a couple of friends that are active on Tinder but a very good friend that’s finally wading into the dating pool 4-years after her divorce and 5 years since she last had SEX with another person, yes, 5 years! has taken to Tinder like a fish to water. It’s horrifying and hysterical in many ways. Her stories are always the best when the frenemies get together for drinks.

  12. Tinder or any dating site is a pain. More for the woman since they get bombarded by guys and the guys looking get nothing. I will say that if you do want to talk off of the dating app but be protected just get a a chat app. Kik is one that is anonymous and u can easily block if they annoy you.
    Like others have posted it is entertainment and the pick up lines my wife has gotten has made me wonder how any guy gets laid these days.

What do you think?