Despite my complaining about Tinder, I did meet one man from the site.
I like muscles. Broad shoulders. Tall and broad with muscles, like my former lover Naked Ironing Man, I’m putty. Johnny’s ass and legs were still the best yet. Sigh.
Move along, brain…
This Tinder match was 6’3″, handsome, and fit the muscular criteria. He had the annoying working-out-in-the-gym selfie, but none of us are perfect. I read his profile and it seemed intelligent. It mentioned work and travel and extracurriculars. I swiped right.
Turns out he’s a lawyer. He’s well-traveled and has lived in different places. Accomplished in his profession and now has his own practice, focussing on family law.
We have a first date at a restaurant near my house. Our schedules are both pretty bad but we find a window one night before he has to go to an event (which yes, could have just been an excuse to leave early if it’s not going well…I know the drill.) It was fine by me anyway, because I had to go to work early the next morning.
He’s smart, funny, doesn’t drink, and likes to dance. I find myself thinking that he and I are pretty well matched, from several perspectives. However, when it’s time to leave, he doesn’t kiss me goodbye. I get a hug.
So I figure I might get a few more text messages but assume he wasn’t interested and I won’t see him again. I sent him a nice thank you text message, nonetheless, because my momma raised me right.
Turns out we do keep texting, back and forth. Then we have an exchange which was very different from the previous conversations:
- Me: By the way…I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but I think you are very cool.
- Him: U meant sexy and that u can’t wait to fuck me. Not that I’m cool. But yeah, thanks, you’re cool too. 😉
- Me: You just made me laugh out out in a meeting. Well, yes, in addition to smart and talented you are sexy too. But I did mean smart, for the record.
- Him: Yeah ok. Well cool ain’t gonna get u much traction around here. I may not be the person u think I am.
So we ended up moving on but I was pretty darn curious about this. I get the vibe that he likes me. I know he’s busy, as am I, so it doesn’t bother me that our texting is sporadic.
We find a night that works for him to come over. We sit on my couch and chat, talk about work and work history. Nothing sexy. As it’s reaching the time he has to leave, I ask him to tell me what he meant by “I may not be the person you think I am”.
He says nothing but the next thing I know he’s crossed the distance between us on the couch – in a nanosecond. His mouth is on me and his hand is up my skirt…his very long, very large fingers finding their way under my lace panties.
I have my first orgasm from his fingers in less than a minute. I do wish he would have started slower; I so like that delicious buildup. But this wasn’t bad.
He pulls his pants down and takes his cock out of his boxer shorts. He’s not as huge as I had hoped, but it makes it easier to put it in my mouth. He doesn’t make much noise but he grabs my hair to hold it back. Nice touch.
Then he moves me where he wants me and the next thing I know he’s inside of me. Thrusting, deep.
My brain then takes over – I think – WAIT. THIS DUDE IS GOING TO FUCK YOU AND LEAVE. YOU WILL NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN. Now, despite knowing that at this point he would probably lie about anything just to keep fucking me, I say “are you the kind of guy to disappear?” And he says “would you like me to disappear right now”…I shake my head, um, no, please, don’t do that. “Don’t ask me that again”.
We change positions multiple times. I get on him…he’s leaning a bit and it’s not perfect. But it’s good. Goes down on me, then takes me from behind, then I ride him until he comes. I wish it lasted longer. I tell him I’ve been accused of being insatiable, but I’m no slut (don’t you all laugh, now) and he says he can tell I’m not.
We chat for a bit longer, he finds his boxers and pants and gets dressed.
He didn’t even take his tie off. This strikes me as funny but I manage to suppress the giggle.
It’s time for him to go. We talk about seeing each other again, and my internal monologue is saying – oh, yeah, sure, Ann…they ALL say that. I tell him I want to go dancing with him and he says sure – name a place.
But the real question for me is whether any of those plans will come to fruition. Only time will tell.