Expecting disappointment & being pleasantly surprised

To get up to speed on Andrew’s story, you may first want to read about how we met, and our first phone conversation.

We settled on the following Friday to meet again, as it was the first night we were both child-free. Yes, he’s also a Dad, and he equally shares parenting with his ex-wife.

Usually I get frustrated at this point of meeting someone. After a date has been set, my typical experience is that I don’t hear from them, or its last-minute, and I find myself wondering whether the date is still on. I fight an internal battle whether to follow up or just leave it alone. It’s highly irritating. All you have to do is read some of my posts from last year this time to understand how I got to this place.

With Andrew, it was different. We texted a couple of times a day – not overly sexy but a few how-is-your-day-going and I-wish-you-were-there-for-my-morning-wood kinda things. On Wednesday he confirmed we were on for Friday, proactively. He asked what I wanted to do and I stumbled.

Why? Again, my past experience is that in situations like this, the date would be a drink followed by sex. I didn’t know what to suggest because I didn’t want to be presumptuous about what he might, or might not, want. And I would have settled for some great sex with a nice dude, but I also didn’t want him to think that was all I wanted.

So, when he asked, I asked him what my options were. He laughed and said: dinner, drinks, and a sleepover, OR drinks and a sleepover.

I chose the former. He said he would cook me dinner and asked if I preferred my place or his. I thought he would be more comfortable in his own kitchen and he agreed. We confirmed a time and like that, it was all set.

So is this what it’s supposed to be like? Wow.

Friday after work I came home, showered, shaved (naturally), and then fretted about what to wear. You all know by now about those excess 15 pounds. On my tall frame I know it’s not as obvious to many, but they are all around my middle and they bother me. I know that the most important thing is to feel comfortable and sexy.

I ended up in a pair of tight skinny jeans (I knew he loved my ass), a camisole and silk shirt. I got a bit stressed about the right undergarments, and ended up running late. Then, like a loser, I got lost – even though he lives a 5 minute drive from me. I had gotten it in my head where he lived, so didn’t check in advance, and got a bit turned around. I texted him, he called me, and walked me through it.

He met me in the parking lot, greeted me with a kiss, and we went up to his apartment. I had brought wine, which he opened, and we sat down on his couch to a plate of cheese and charcuterie and olives he had put together. Very civilised. It was a nice conversation and I was more relaxed than the first time we met.

He was attentive and affectionate. It felt really quite lovely.

The meal he had cooked was simple but delicious. When we finished he asked if I wanted to go to the bedroom.


He doesn’t take a lot of time getting undressed, which for me is one of my favourite things. I like the slow tease of being unwrapped and kissed everywhere as we go. We’ll have to work on that. But it became obvious to me that he wasn’t pretending that he adores my body. It’s wonderful.

The sheets on his bed crinkle because they are waterproof. He apologised to me for having them, but given all the squirting which occurs there, it’s practical. Albeit a little odd.

The sex is awesome. Andrew is dominant, as I prefer, and he moves me where he wants me or give me gentle orders (“straighten your legs”). I like it. A lot. Occasionally when he’s touching me, looking at me, I hear him say “oh my god”, in awe. It makes me happy.

It’s hard for me to get used to being with someone smaller – I outweigh him. If he wasn’t dominant, I would be very self-conscious. But because he is, it isn’t top of mind when we are together.

We had sex for a while – maybe an hour – and then we needed a break. Frankly, we also needed the sheets to dry off, because he had me squirting like crazy. I went to pull on my shirt and he explained that he would prefer I stay naked.

We were standing naked in his kitchen talking about vacations and I mentioned someone had suggested I go to Hedonism but I didn’t think there was a) any way I would be brave enough to go on my own, and b) I couldn’t imagine wandering around naked. Turns out he’s been there, and he told me some of his stories. But more importantly, he looked at me and told me I was crazy for being uncomfortable, that I was stunning, and should not be insecure about my body.

When I explained that I’d gained a bit of weight lately, he looked at me with a level eye and said – you do not need to lose weight because you don’t look good. If it’s really bothering you, then you should, but you are perfect as you are.

I have trouble believing compliments like this.

We talked some more. Had more sex, fell asleep with him inside of me and spooning me…it’s his “finishing pose”, to use a term from yoga. He woke me up at 5am for more sex. We fell asleep again, woke up and had another round. He made me a smoothie and off I went to get my hair cut.

All in all, my expectations were greatly exceeded. But I wondered what would come of it, and how I really felt about him.

0 thoughts on “Expecting disappointment & being pleasantly surprised

  1. First of all, what a sexy, relaxing evening — you deserved that! It sounded wonderful. Now for the sheets – meh, there are other options like a better mattress cover but who cares at the end of the day? It’s the other person that matters and he sounds like he has strong potential. Congrats!

  2. awesome! by any chance has he thought about the liberator play sheets? they don’t crinkle, or maybe they do but I don’t know that I’ve noticed when in the throes πŸ˜‰

    • It could be, I think…and I still need to write about this, but part of what was going on in my head on the date was wondering whether all his FWB’s are like that. Dinner, chats, etc…

      But yes, no matter what, it feels nice right now. And he’s trustworthy and decent. So I will take it.

      • Stop right there sweetie.

        His other FWB are not your concern. Down that rabbit hole go thee not.

        He showers you with attention and his presence. Take what he gives and appreciate it for what it is. FWB.

        That’s what it’s all about. Do not torture yourself with what he is doing with others. For what he does doesn’t take away from what he gives you, right?


        Love and kisses. X

  3. Damn, he sounds like my type of guy!!! There is something to be said when you are with a dominant guy who takes the lead, says do this or that. CEO was like that, so your words brought that back home. Also, I have to laugh about the waterproof sheets–!! That is hilarious….and waking up to more sex, then falling back to sleep….then waking up again for more sex is pure bliss for me. I say he’s a keeper πŸ™‚

    Oh and one last thing….if a guy says you don’t need to lose weight, trust his opinion. And don’t bring it up again. Men want to feel like they are with a hot woman. If you start talking about this flaw or that, overtime that gets annoying to them. And really all along, they think you are hot. Only now, your a head case because you don’t believe it yourself. Make sense? Confidence is the sexiest thing πŸ™‚

    • Thanks for that – yes confidence is key. I’m quite uninhibited and dont believe in putting myself down to fish for compliments. But I’m also modest πŸ™‚

      I have more to write about him too!

  4. Waterproof sheets? Hilarious!
    Glad you had fun being had, Ann. I hope Andrew realizes how blessed he actually is. Don’t overthnk things, just go with it – for now.

    • My overthinking post has now been published πŸ˜€

      But all kidding aside…I’m actually okay with it right now. I do wonder what he’s done or not done with the other two women in his life (slept with them, broken up with them, etc). I might ask at some point but for now I’m trying to focus on the solitude at hand.

  5. Whew *fans face* that was uhm……..Ok, I am so effing jealous!! Thanks for sharing. He sounds pretty fantastic! So what’s wrong with him again?? LOL! (I agree with Hook…. just enjoy the moment…the future will usually take care of itself but protect your heart girlfriend, protect your heart) πŸ˜‰

  6. The sheets are funny, reminds me when my children were little and I kept the mattress protector on the bed…I recall it was always way to hot to sleep on the plastic! I also love how you articulate when you arena bed that the size/height doesn’t bother you – that’s how I feel about TJA but couldn’t really put my finger on it. Sounds like a really great way to start! I’m finally catching up all my Ann reading πŸ™‚

What do you think?