I'm going to be a total b*tch in this post. Fair warning.

I’m feeling like a total curmudgeon right now. Too many things I’m experiencing are pissing me off. It’s not my style on this blog to be all bitchy (ahem…hold that comment), but hey, I’m trying not to self-censor, and several of you said “oh please let’s see this post of which you speak”, so here goes.

[I lied. I wrote the stuff below and now feel compelled to say in almost all cases, I see their side. I’m not fucking stupid nor am I un-compassionate. I’m simply irritated. It’s the combination of all the shit I’m dealing with right now.]

To the man on my team who sat across from me yesterday in a “manager once removed” meeting, who asked me all about my team’s strategy and my vision, and professed to be super excited about the opportunities, who then, TODAY, just resigned to go to a competitor…

Fuck you. That’s really bad form, buddy. You should have come up with a reason that the meeting with me needed to be moved. I don’t have an hour to waste on someone with both feet out the door. Never mind that I just gave you our strategy.

To the person who stopped talking to me…

Don’t you realize you hurt my feelings? Don’t you realize you were completely off side with your behavior? Are you such a pussy that you don’t want to face my anger with you? Or perhaps you never cared about me in the first place. I guess it’s clear how real our relationship was.

To my ex husband who is now asking me to take full possession of what is now his dog, even though I don’t have any outside space and being a single parent is bad enough as it is, just because his family and year-long girlfriend won’t do it…

Really? What else do you want me to fucking take on for you, so you can have your tidy single life in a far away country?

To the female bloggers who I follow who keep showing me their body…

Well…I confess in my current state of feeling terrible about my body, I envy that ass. Or the flat belly. A lot. I’m usually all about supporting women, but it’s hard for me to be all supportive and make the appropriate cooing comments. Especially when I value you for your words, not your body. I already wrote a post about it, but I remain conflicted between thinking you should do whatever makes you happy and damn well please, and thinking it’s a sign of insecurity when you (and I…I’m not immune) post these pics.

To the woman I work with who carries around her status bag – the huge Chanel Caviar bag with the chains that costs probably about $4,000 if not more, and who leaves it perched on the bar when we are out after work…

Why have such an ostentatious show of your wealth? It’s obnoxious. Do you know how many poor children you could impact if you donated that fucking money? Do you think I think more of you because you can afford that bag? I actually think less. Which then makes me feel bad about being all judgey. How do we end up in such a status obsessed society? God, you could settle for a Louis Vuitton. Or even a few pairs of Louboutins.

To anyone that says I shouldn’t be such a bitch…

Fuck you.

Love, my hormones.


Image Source: http://wendystorer.blogspot.ca/2012/01/its-not-you-its-me-or-why-i-had-to.html

0 thoughts on “I'm going to be a total b*tch in this post. Fair warning.

  1. Excellent post. We all need to vent sometimes (& I assume that’s one of the benefits of using an alias online), so don’t ever feel bad for letting loose on your own blog.

    Hopefully things lighten up for you ASAP.

  2. Fuck me? You think Johnny ID is okay with that 😛
    Ooh see there is that smile 😀 there all better right?
    You could have expected that. nothing a good dose of humor wouldn’t fix

    I just laughed thank you. for bitching.. haha keep smiling love

  3. “To the female bloggers who I follow who keep showing me their body…I confess in my current state of feeling terrible about my body, I envy that ass.”

    I am not a blogger ( my husband is an this is his account, sorry!) but I am a female. I also get very hormonal so when I see beatiful women posting their gorgeously-built bodies so easily on their blogs or in other online communities, the same emotions (as you) are stirred up inside of me.

    I am combating that within me by doing taking the bull by the horns (at my husband’s encouragement). I am sharing my body and all (well, most) of my flaws. Three kids’s worth of them. But I work to stay fit…and sometimes I slack off. Judging by my husband’s comments and those of the online community, my “normal” body (i.e. non-18 year-old, non hard-body) is beautiful. I am absolutely certain that yours is, too!

    With much love and compassion,

    Mrs. WC

    • Nice to meet you Mrs. WC 🙂

      I’m totally cool with women who say – hey, I’m an exhibitionist, or I need feedback, or I’m needy and want your attention. For some reason it bugs me when it’s done without any of that context or knowledge as to why someone does it. I need to look into that reaction.

      I don’t share pics (with one exception) because I want people to be here because of my words…not because a bunch of dudes get off on my pics. I can get enough of that if I went back to online dating.

      But who knows, that may change someday…I may need this forum if I end up craving feedback and to bolster my ego.

      And good for you for identifying a need and tackling it!!

      • Should your curiosity get the better of you, I would be happy to give you a sense of how we (my husband and I) approach this. No worries if you’re not interested.

        The nice thing about it is the control. My husband and I get to control it. The men (i.e. creeps) who lurk there for their wank-material are pretty gross. I do (or my husband does) remove a lot of them from accessing my pics. Surprisingly, I am getting a lot of women commenting and contacting me to ask about doing the same.

        Yes, it is good for this mother of three to do something that she never would have considered in a million years. Our neighbors would flip if they knew what we did. My father would probably shoot my husband. 😉

  4. It’s all smoke and mirrors, Ann (I think you know which rant I’m addressing). In fact, when I feel like shit is exactly when I start posing. When you meet me (one day!), you’ll look at me and think I’m such a phony. And you know I’m not at all conflicted about my nudity, but it’s ok if you are. I know it’s not for everyone. xx Hy

    • I hardly doubt I will think you are a phony…but I do look forward to meeting you.

      You have been explicit as to why you post pictures…I put a very high value on self-awareness, and I actually have no negative reaction to your pics whatsoever.

      As I said in my old post, I think Boob Day is a great celebration of the female body…and I do occasionally think about sending you an anonymous pic 🙂

      I think women who just post their pics without any context or associated content are inviting being objectified…that’s probably at the root of it, because it seems so base to me and I can’t understand why someone would want to do that. Once a rationale is made explicit, it sets a different context.

      But I’m not entirely sure…my reaction puzzles me somewhat 🙂

  5. Let it out and you will feel better. Pour a glass of wine and relax tonight. Brighter days are ahead. I LOVE reading your blog 🙂

  6. Thank you. Need something to cheer with me up after my own blog was suspended. Working on moving it to new location. As for everything at once we have all been there and know where you are coming from.

  7. “Do you know how many poor children you could impact if you donated that fucking money?” I’m not sure about that part. When child my classmates were really poor (I wasn’t so much), several of them died for malnutrition and I can assure you that no one of us saw with bad eyes if somebody used a car or in tv were with jewels or something like that. We had clear that if we wanted something we just had to work harder, if she worked for that bag I think that’s cool.
    About the second person that stopped talking to you, well, men sometimes don’t understand women and it seems that silence is the less damaging option (I know, that sounds pretty lame)
    The issue with the dog seems to me insensible and unfair from him.

    • Thanks for the comment, Francis. I *do* understand your point, and I know we all have different things to which we ascribe value.

      For me, a status handbag like that is ridiculous…it costs 25% of what the average annual household income is in my country. That’s the point I was trying to make. That money could make a difference, instead, it’s sole purpose is to show off.

      Even if I can afford that bag, I just couldn’t do it.

      I know people whose job is was to repossess cars. They would go up to a house that was decrepit and the person would have bought some expensive sports car. How do we lose our way like that?

      But that’s just me.

      And yeah, the silent treatment is potentially less damaging. But juvenile. It really does speak to how little they valued me in the first place, and one never wants to realize that.

  8. Bravo! I’d read an encore any time. Glad to see you are human, not that I thought you weren’t.. Nice to let it out at times… but don’t make the ladies feel bad about sharing their bodies with their words, us old guys need some perv’in too.

  9. If it makes you feel better, I was watching a 60 Minutes interview with the American doctor who contracted and recovered from Ebola last month. He has dedicated his life to traveling wherever his medical skills are needed.

    I was sitting there watching, thinking “God, shut up. You are so full of yourself.”

    I’m not always an asshole, but hormones are a bitch.

  10. This must have been kind of cathartic, by the way those female bloggers showing tits and buts, really? Seems it´s becoming a trend, a good one by they way. Could you send me a link of them? I might as well just join the fray, I can show my beautiful hairy thigh if they ask.

      • I´ll have to check once of these days, actually I´m thinking of hanging up a post about all the tits that I have touched throughout my life. Categorise them really be meticulous about them. Might even do a dissertation paper on tits. That would be a good one, probably if I´d done that back in college they wouldn´t have kicked me out.

  11. Huh, so I guess I should take back my Sparkly basketball shoes with Gold inlay wings. Rats. And they’re so fashion forward.

    There’s nothing more attractive (well… except me on a good day) than a woman who says “Stand back everyone, this is going to get ugly” and then lives up to it. Most Mediterranean people do it almost daily. Cleanse the soul.

    And it really does help, doesn’t it?

  12. You have most definitely posted more pictures of your body than I have, my dear <3
    XOX! I hope your week got better. Mine was equally shitty and Tuesday I was in such a horseshit mood, I am surprised I wasn't sent home from work.

    Oh, and steal that bitches purse!!

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