Find my happy place. Find my happy place. Find my….

My Weekly Recap?

The short version? Last week sucked ass. Beyond belief. There’s nothing like getting into a sucker punch fight with your boyfriend and getting broken up with via his blog, to make a shit few weeks even better.

Before all hell broke loose, I wrote two fun things: Yet more dating fails (and one lovely opening message) and Things on my bed right now.

Then the big fight, which resulted in The End of Johnny & Ann?!. Thankfully, I’d already written a few posts about my ex-husband Will, which I won’t repeat here because another post is coming that wraps up a bit of the story. They were already scheduled and so kept things alive on the blog.

I said thank you to the friends who had been reaching out in The spammers really love me! (And some others as well). On a side note, when I’m not smarting from the sting of rejection, I find it interesting which people don’t reach out in times like this. Ones who you thought were friends but don’t seem to find the time. It’s telling, and sad. But life always marches on.

I’m not over the stuff with Johnny yet, far from it, but at least we are talking now. I don’t know where the path forward will lead us, but at least we are on the path.

But Wait! It Gets Better!

Will (my ex-husband) came back this past weekend. His first visit since he left for his job in a different country a several hour flight from here. He spent from Saturday morning to Sunday late afternoon with my son.

The drop off was a disaster. My son was crying and literally holding on to Will and not letting go. Although he is only six, he’s rather tall, and well over 50 lbs. So it’s not an easy thing to disengage him.

Will sat on the stairs for a while and cuddled and reassured him. But my son is no dummy and he knew what it all meant. So I had to hold on to him when Will left. The moment the door shut, he burst into tears. Inconsolable. We spent some time on the couch and cuddled but it was horrible.

I asked him if he wanted to watch a show (which we rarely do), so we got him set up on the TV and I ordered a pizza and eventually things calmed down.

Later on it was time for the bath and bedtime routine. My son refused to stop doing what he was doing and we got into a bit of a battle of the wills. I got frustrated, and he stunned me into silence with the following exchange:

  • Me: I know you are angry, honey, but you shouldn’t take it out on me.
  • Him: Why not, mummy?
  • Me: Because you are angry at your Daddy, not me.
  • Him: But you are the one that is here, so who else can I fight with?

But it was not all a steaming pile of shit…

I finally got my period (there you go, my own little TMI Tuesday, 6 days late). Here’s to hoping some of the water retention and PMS goes away. Yes, I know, the great part is it will all come back on or about one month from now. But still.

I had a massage on Saturday; my first in a year. He said to me “you have lost a LOT of weight…it’s fantastic!” Which of course made me feel good.

I checked my blog stats and now have over 50,000 views. I’m gobsmacked, and remain humbled that there are people out there who are interested. Thank you so much to all of you for joining and sticking with me on my journey.


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0 thoughts on “Find my happy place. Find my happy place. Find my….

  1. OMGoogle…what a week! I can’t even imagine…except for the part about an inconsolable son. I was just telling my best friend (after we visited my college-age daughter on Saturday) how hard it is to see your kiddos hurting. Big or small problems…the alligator tears can be unbearable.
    That said, your little guy sounds very insightful and will always remember how you’ve helped him through times like these.
    I hope you have a much better week, build on the little pieces of positives I found ALL over your post this morning and anchor on to all that which makes you the beautiful you we know and love.
    If that doesn’t work? Wine and Netflix, baby!

  2. This week has just got to be better for you! I had a similar talk with my son last night who came back from his dad’s a complete grouch pants and took if out on me.

  3. I’m glad that there are positive times mixed in with all the crap that you’ve been dealing with. That you and Johnny are at least talking. That you had a massage and a compliment — and I think that’s big coming from a massage therapist, since they’re so in tune with people’s bodies. I hope those positive times continue for you, and not as much crap goes your way. It certainly sounds like you could use a long break from the crap!

  4. I don’t have a lot of experience-based wisdom to offer that can help (but really, I am just some random woman on the internet, anyway). What I have learned my my almost half-century of life (yikes…am I really that old?) is that similar to our climate, we transition through seasons. We may be currently in the long, cold and dark days of winter but the newness and freshness of spring is steadily approaching!

  5. OOh you shared a bucket of ice cream with the little man of the house. haha
    Ships week. Setting sail and hoping for a calmer ocean.
    It is chin up raise a glass higher and cheers on another week to come. And at least have one party. For smiles.

  6. You’re blog isn’t coming up in my feeds so I’m having to hunt you down to read you.

    Not only is this annoying me (I’m pre menstrual, my tmi contribution) but it’s just annoying me because I’ve been wondering how you are.

    Hugs to you. Discussions are good and your son makes a valid arguement. You are there and his father isn’t. Not an easy place to be πŸ™

    It can only get better right?


  7. Wow! What a roller-coaster ride you have been on! A journey indeed! I hope all works out soon!

    A big congrats on the 50,000 views! Whoa! What a milestone!

    And I hope you have a better week! πŸ™‚

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